Chuck Versus The Quirk
by FreeVessel
Summary: Sarah and Chuck are supposed to enhance their cover by making love, but things get totally out of control. Alternative to vs.Truth 1x08. Beware, tons of innuendo and hot stuff in ch.2&3. NOW FINAL CHAPTER
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: The idea for this story came in a really unorthodox way. I was just thinking of how to prompt my editor, advisor, etc., NickyR into writing something herself. Since she is the world champion of Charah-shipping, it was logical to come up with some idea about Chuck and Sarah's complicated … thing. Well, she turned it down, so I had to figure out something myself.**

**The action takes place at the time of Chuck versus the Truth (1x08). Beware, tons of innuendo and hot stuff in chapters 2 and 3.**

**CHUCK VERSUS THE QUIRK **

**Chapter I**

**Achievable Goal, Short-Term**

**  
**'Damn!" Sarah had just burned another set of Wiener-sausages.

She was really annoyed now. Devon turned out to be such a pain. She and Chuck had made an extra effort to cover their bases as a couple yesterday. Here at the Wienerlicious, when her boss interrupted them. Good, that she was so well trained to act fast. She remembered it so vividly now.

She had pulled Chuck down on the floor and thrown herself over him managing to unbutton her Wiener-shirt a little. They had never been in such a close and intimate configuration before.

She sighed.

She remembered how Devon had teased Chuck and her last night. As a trained spy she could always remember entire conversations if her mind had decided that they were important for a mission. The lines were now replaying back in her head, again and again:

"Didn't realize how old-fashioned you were, Chuck." Devon had started.

"Why? Because I was ordering food for my girl? I just know what she likes." Chuck had tried to parry.

'You sure do. Thanks, sweetie.' She had tried to back him up.

To no avail.

"No, old-fashioned, how slow you guys are taking things.' Devon had continued with the assault.

'You guys are joined at the hip, but that's not where you're supposed to be joined.'

And then he had nailed them with one last line:

'It's like the east wing of our apartment took a vow of celibacy.'

Sarah exhaled deeply again. 'Damn you Devon! You and your big mouth!'

Same evening Sarah had approached Chuck and told him that it was time for them to make love. Otherwise, their cover would be clearly in shambles.

And she remembered his reaction with the coffee when she told him that.

"Hottttt coffeeee!"

She was now laying a new set of sausages down there to be tortured and eventually burned when it dawned on her.

"_Oh God, what if Chuck thinks we're really gonna …?_" she panicked.

Sarah looked at the clock on the wall – she had another 15 minutes until her lunch break. It was a conversation too delicate for a phone call.

Feeling really anxious about this potential embarrassment, she decided to go immediately to the Buy More and talk to Chuck. Clear things up.

She untied and threw away her apron and then rushed there.

And yes, another set of completely innocent sausages were about to die a horrible death on the bonfire.

Xxx

Sarah was now inside the Buy More, wandering around and looking for Chuck. She couldn't see him anywhere.

Instead, Lester had noticed and waved at her. He cocked his head a bit as if saying, 'Hey, princess, see how gorgeous I am?' and rushed toward her.

'Hello, Your Wienerlicious Highness? How can I be of any help?' Lester tried the most desperate look in his arsenal. He thought it was to charm her.

'Hi Lester, where is Chuck, I need him urgently!' Sarah asked with visible  
agitation.

The fact that Sarah expressed interest in somebody else didn't discourage the longhaired Indian one bit, however.

'Chuck didn't come to work this morning. He got called for an install from very early on. Maybe he's into another type of install, if you know what I mean. Cougars are widely known to like early installs …" he leered at her again.

'But listen, milady,' he went on, 'there isn't anything that I can't help you with, …, maybe even better than Chuck….' His staring at her was completing the sentence.

Before Sarah could say anything, Jeff joined them.

'Hello, Your Wienerlicious Excellency.' He started and couldn't understand why Lester was rolling his eyes. It was such a catch phrase!

'If there is anything I can do for you…?' Jeff glanced at her with the most promising look he had ever been able to produce. 'Just give me the heads up.' He winked at her.' If you know what I mean,' he added dancing his brows.

'Thank you all, but I can handle it myself,' she smiled at them softly and turned away to get back to her workplace.

'And so can I,' Jeff said in desperation, looking after her, 'but it's always so much better when we can help each other.'

Sarah was smirking but thank god they could only see her back now as she was striding toward the front doors of the store.

At this very moment Chuck approached from the outside.

'Ah, Sarah,' he smiled as he saw Jeff and Lester behind her. 'Enjoyed their company?'

'Immensely,' Sarah replied snickering. 'Quality time' doesn't even begin to cover it.'

It was only then that she noticed something really troubling. In the middle of such a hot day Chuck looked really fresh – like he had just taken a shower. Hmm, and there was that scent – some new and very fine cologne he had on him now.

'_Oh, god, he had really thought that we …_' she panicked.

'Chuck, ... ah there is something we should really talk …' Sarah grabbed his hand and dragged him further away from the store.

'What … what is it Sarah,' Chuck asked knitting his brows.

'About our cover date tonight. The making love part, you don't think we are really …, it's just for the cover, remember?'

Oh, please …. Of course. I know.' he was smiling awkwardly. 'What do you think I was thinking anyway? You didn't really think that I was thinking about …."

'_Idiot, what were you thinking, ... idiot!_' he was screaming to himself at the same time.

'No, of course not, I just wanted to make sure.' It was Sarah who was blushing now as she had implied it in the first place.

'Hey,' he said, once he felt he was back in control of himself, 'you know, before the … ahhh fake thing, you know …"

'Ohh, you mean the fake sex thing" she said smiling gently but didn't have the courage to watch him in the eyes.

'Yeah, yeah, that, … he swallowed hard, 'the fake sex thing, … we still need a good cover, meaning a nice, … romantic evening, some music and maybe dancing before that, right?"

She was thinking for a couple of seconds, 'Yeah, of course, otherwise it wouldn't look convincing to anybody,' she nodded at him. 'Good thinking Chuck! Where?'

'Still at my place,' Chuck stared at her. 'Now he leaned in a bit and pointed his index finger to his head. 'Don't worry, the Intersect has taken care of everything.' He said that with a robotic voice, winking at her."Our cover is 100% secure, milady.'

Sarah laughed out loud, turned and headed back to the Wienerlicious.

'Ok, ….'. she was about to say 'Chuck', when he interrupted her.

'Aa– aa – aa,'

She stopped and turned to him."What?"

'Name'sh Carmichael, Charlsh Carmichael,' he said with the famous Scottish accent, he was practicing so much these days. 'And I'm gonna charm you to death whether it is a fake date or not.'

And at that he quickly turned and raced toward the Buy More.

'Where the hell that came from?' He screamed at himself, still in disbelief. 'How desperate are you?'

Entering the store, he grimaced even more, remembering about his obviously so unrealistic expectations.

'Idiot, what were you thinking, idiot!"

20 feet away, at the Nerd Herd desk, Jeff and Lester were arguing about something.

'How did you steal my Wienerlicious phrase, cretin.' Lester barked at him. "Did you get it from my diary, you imbecile, … hah?' Lester was hitting really high pitches now.

'Stiff it Patel, do you have copyrights on it, ah, ... where, … show me?' Jeff retorted.

'Hey guys,' Chuck was almost there with them now, 'what are you fighting about?'

'Nothing Chuck, we were just … ah, refining our tactics,' Lester started, narrowing his eyes.

'There is a very achievable goal, short-term, ahead of us,' Jeff added nodding, with his eyes glistening. 'But it's top secret, need to know.'

Chuck sighed, shaking his head. It didn't take an Intersect to figure out what the 'achievable goal, short-term' was, provided he saw them drooling around Sarah when he had turned up.

Essentially, he was in the same desperate situation as far as the "achievable goal' was concerned.

Well, she was at least his girlfriend, as fake as that was. And at least he was determined to have some quality time with her, which was still way better than his usual evenings.

At this moment Casey popped up from somewhere, gazing and trying to read what was on his mind.

He dragged Chuck away from Jeff and Lester and growled at him, 'Hey, Casanova, agent Walker's told me about your date plans and we discussed them with Beckman.'

'Really, … that's so exciting,' Chuck gritted through his teeth.

'Yeah, Beckman's orders are clear, Walker and you should keep it in your pants. As always. Your getting laid is again postponed for the unforeseeable future. Congratulations Bartowski,' a smirking Casey tapped Chuck on the shoulder.

'Yeah,' Chuck was nodding melancholically, 'I hardly remember ever hearing such exciting news about my private life before. ... Lucky me.'

Casey was still there next to him.

'So, … any questions about the mission tonight? Because you know, I have a part in it as well, virtual chaperone, remember?' Casey was whispering at his ear now, looking around. 'I'll be there at my place and listening to you two, so everything goes according to plan.'

'Sure Casey, how could it be fun without you, sitting in front of the monit…' Chuck had tried to snipe back.

Hmm, … Bartowski, Casey snickered, 'are you into this, quirky , kinky … urge for a public …. .

'No, no, no, …. Nooooo! Not that! I was just being facetious." Chuck desperately repeated.

Hmm ... you sure? … Well, leave the art of facetiousness to the master, amateur!"

"And don't forget, I'll be monitoring you tonight!'

At that a snickering Casey winked at him and went back to selling his beast masters.

'Good for you Casey,' Chuck said through his teeth, 'I so envy your social life.'

Xxx


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter II**

**Setting Off The Quirk**

It was already 10 pm. Sarah was sitting next to Chuck on the couch. They were holding hands and watching a movie together with Ellie and Devon. It was just about to finish when Devon got up.

'Some light dinner guys?' He pointedly winked at Chuck to follow him to the kitchen.

'Hey, bro', Devon said to him once they got there, 'here is one of my magic cocktails. It never lets you down, Chuck, … if you know what I mean.' He winked at him again. 'Stuff's empirically proven.'

He had one of his horrible green fluids or rather a semi-fluid there in a really, really large cup right under Chuck's nose.

It smelled like the very worst thing anywhere within the Amazon jungle.

'Thank you, Devon, but I have full confidence in my own …. potential.' Chuck hissed quietly. But Devon had heard him.

'Oh, c'mon bro, it won't hurt, it can just help you even further …'

Chuck was about to go on with the dodging but then he realized that Devon might become suspicious again so he took it without further resisting.

'Thank you, … _bro_,' he laughed awkwardly. "Great!" he gritted to himself. 'Another round of torture. God knows how this devilish mixture would affect me,' he wondered looking at it. Dark green and semi-liquid. He sipped. "Ugh!"

Ellie offered them to have some dinner as well but before Sarah could say anything Chuck blurted out:

'Oh no, we ate pizza on our way home, … a really large pizza," he showed them with his hands, I personally removed all the olives, …. for my sweetie.' He turned to her, 'right …. sweetie?'

The spy in Sarah, as hungry as she actually was, had realized that he needed her to play along.

"Right, …. you are the best, … sweetie, … at handling the olives for me, … and everything.' She smiled back at him gently.

She had been standing next to him so now she pressed herself to his body and gave him a light kiss on the lips.

Devon had opened his eyes wide, grinning against them. He turned to Ellie and blurted, 'Let's go babe, there's a lot of 'handling the olives' ahead for some people.'

Sarah and Chuck, already used to his teasing, were still standing there, in front of his bedroom door.

'Now what?' she mimicked with her mouth without letting any sound out. Her head was tilted ahead so Casey couldn't see from any of his cameras. 'And I was a bit hungry by the way.' She thought to herself.

Chuck didn't say anything but pulled out a small piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it for her while looking around.

'_Play along, I have a plan._" He folded the paper and then it was back in his pocket.

She nodded.

He let her in his bedroom and pressed the play button on the remote of his music system.

"Oh, no!' Sarah said smiling.

'Oh, yeah!' Chuck grinned back, nodding.

Those were the first and quite exciting tango motives.

'Remember,' he stared at her, 'we have this mission ahead, … the cover, that we are not supposed to blow …., he looked at her, 'you know what I mean, right?'

'I got it Chuck.'

"On the contrary, we are supposed to harden it further, …. the cover I mean,"

I got it, I got it, Chuck, don't worry.'

'You know, I practiced this as I thought I was gonna do it with you …. '

'Rrrright' she said.

'And not with La Cuidad. I really didn't want to do it with some crazy international nuclear arms dealer. But there's where life took me.' he sighed.

'Close your eyes now, I have a surprise.' he said.

She looked up at him but he winked again and nodded. '_Part of the plan._'

Okay, she closed her eyes. The music was still going. Oh God, she loved to tango so much!

Chuck had jumped to his closet and took out something from there.

'Open your eyes, soldier!'

She opened her eyes and there it was. Her dark red evening dress she wore during the La cuidad operation, at the Wilshire Grand.

'What? Have you stolen this from my closet?'

'No, no, no. nooooooo! I bought it, … actually.'

'What?' She smacked him.

Ohhhhhh, Casey was shaking his head and took the headphones off. He raised his right hand and pointed it at his temple imitating a gun. Bam!

'Congratulations Chuck, You're officially the greatest schmuck on this planet. …., noo, in the solar system …. nooo in the universe …. Nooo…. Since Casey's knowledge in astronomy had reached its apogee, he just stood up and started looking for the oldest and strongest bottle of whiskey the NSA had supplied him with.

Sarah was holding now the dress turning it around. Yeah, it was exactly like hers.

'What!,' she shouted real loud and slapped him again. " ... Armani? ... Are you crazy?"

Hers was government issue. The CIA's technical department had a subdivision preparing clothes for all sorts of mission, equipping them with the necessary gadgets.

She had no idea how much this piece had cost Chuck.

'How much is it, Chuck?' She shouted , 'ah?'

Her yelling had finally reached Ellie's bedroom.

'Wow,' Devon exclaimed. He was having his third beer. 'Angry sex. The most powerful one in my book. 'Yo-hoooo!' he tried to cheer them, hoping his cheering will really reach them.

Slap!

"What, babe, what was that for?'

'Congratulations Devon! You've just entered the most powerful period of your angry celibacy!'

Devon's yelling had just reached them, indeed.

'See?' Chuck scolded her. "They heard us fighting, so you just blew it! … Our cover."

Chuck exhaled deeply as he could see how angry she was.

'Sarah, … listen, … let's have our date now, we have to fix our cover. I already have a plan how to pay for it? OK?'

Yeah, she thought, it was a mission after all. She'd think of something later about this dress.

She signaled to him something with her eyes.

'What,' Chuck asked.

'Turn around, soldier, I need to change.'

'Sure, sure, I'll be outside,' he opened the door and was just about to go out when he halted for a second, thinking, and then turned the lights off.

'And why would you do that?' She whispered viciously at him. She was still so angry about the dress.

'Casey's cameras, remember?' He whispered back and closed the door.

'Ohh God,' she thought. He was protecting her from Casey's prying eyes. She had a really wide grin on her face now.

Sarah quickly changed in the dark.

Knock, knock. 'Sarah?'

'What?'

'Are you …"

'What … decent? No, I'm not,' she lied to him.

She was grinning in the dark.

3 minutes later he knocked again.

She opened the door and then turned the lights on.

Yeah, that was the image that had got burned deeply in his mind several weeks ago. His really hot and fake girlfriend in this really hot dress.

'Well?' She asked.

'That's … that's … nice.' He entered the room smirking.

Ooh, she was really mad at him now. He couldn't openly admit that he really liked it.

'Now what?' she asked. The tango had finished, so Chuck pulled the remote out of his pocket and played it again.

'And now we tango, of course,' he smiled.

But Sarah was still unconvinced.

"Chuck, … look at the space here,' she gesticulated with her hands, 'this large bed, …. we don't have enough room to do it, …. to do the tango. No, I don't feel like doing it here.'

'Oh yeah?' Chuck felt really annoyed now. After all, he had made this tremendous effort to find an exact replica of her dress and she wasn't actually 'playing along'. And she had promised!

_Chuck remembered how he got to this idea preparing for this date. He had recalled her file from the Intersect. On one of the pages there was an entry "Personal peculiarities and quirks". Against it there were only two words for Sarah Walker: '**crazy dancer**'. So he was dying out of curiosity to find out what was that all about._

He was really angry at her now for her hesitating.

'Are you telling me that you, Sarah Walker, the super spy, whose file,' he pointed at his head, 'says you are a magnificent and quite creative dancer, is afraid to do it? Just because there isn't enough room here? .... Chickening out, ha?" He challenged.

'I thought…', he tried to go on but was harshly interrupted by something.

Sarah had been staring at him with her nostrils flaring. He had never seen her looking at him like this.

And yeah, her left hand was now on his butt.

She was staring at him in a really menacing way. _Nobody has ever dared question Sarah Walker's dancing abilities._ She was sort of an uber-perfectionist in that department. Chuck had just succeeded in really offending her.

'Sarah, … what is your hand doing on my …,' he was about to ask, but then something even more outrageous happened to him.

She slid her right hand into his pocket looking for something. (Oh, my god!, Chuck screamed to himself).

She took out the remote from there and was staring at it, trying to figure out what button to press to start the tango from the beginning.

But she was somewhat distracted.

"Hmm, … Chuck,' she thought smirking and still furious with him, '_it seems like you had both something in your pocket and were really happy to see me._' She was smiling icily at him.

She had finally figured out the right combination, pressed it and the tango started from the beginning.

Then she slid the remote back into his pocket (Oh My God!).

'Let's do it, … Charlsh,' she shushed at him with a much better Scottish accent than his and dragged him into the tango.

The music was very loud and had already reached Devon and Ellie.

'Cool', Devon had exclaimed, throwing glances at Ellie. 'It's happening, I can tell.'

'C'mon, Devon, could you finally stop meddling into their privacy! They are grown-ups you know'

'I'm sure a lot had already grown up by now,' he said, glancing at his watch and trying to calculate something.

Chuck and Sarah were dancing around. She had put his hand on her hip, or probably a little lower initially, but Chuck had quickly restored it to the right place.

Sarah smiled to him, "Enjoying the dance, Mr. Carmichael?'

It was impossible however to dance such a passionate and dynamic dance normally, in such close and restricted space.

So they had bumped into the legs of the bed, falling there, pushing stuff down on the floor. But Sarah was forcing him back again into the dance.

The noise of the falling things reached Ellie's room again and this time it was Ellie who couldn't believe her ears. 'Wow", she gave them the thumb up.

Devon, as tipsy as he was, decided that was a sure sign that he will be forgiven, started approaching her.

Slap!

"Celibate, Devon! Angry and celibate! Get used to it!'

When it was finally over Chuck and Sarah lay on the bed, resting and still breathing heavily.

'Phew,' Chuck exclaimed, 'that was hard, … I mean tough, really tough, ... and also exhausting.'

'Chuck,' Sarah started.

'What, what now,' he said with a fresh pinch of anxiety.

'It's time for you to learn something about me, something really private, remember? You asked me a couple of weeks ago, right?'

'Sarah, ….. aaahh, …. yeah,' he was stuttering and throwing glances at one of Casey's cameras trying to remind her.'

'I know that Casey is listening but this is our cover for Devon and Ellie, remember?'

'Okay.'

'I'm a dancing perfectionist, probably a moderate fanatic... maybe sprinkled with a pinch or two of reasonable radicalism.' She sounded so serious. 'I just figured out how to do it perfectly, you know,' she looked at him, 'but it'll need additional skills. We need to work on them a bit.'

'You know,' she went on, 'the second time is always better than the first. Much better.'

'I'm sure that'll be the case,' Chuck agreed still screaming inside.

'Up, Chuck' she ordered him.

"What?' he protested (_and how much upper could he be, he asked himself_).

But she had gotten up and pulled him in front of her. Then she again slid her hand into his pocket (Oh My God!) and pulled out the remote.

Chuck had just sworn that he would never let this remote back in his pocket, ever.

'I think I figured how to do it perfectly,' she repeated.

'You mean the tango, right?'

'Of course, I mean the tango, what else do you think I was talking about?' she played dumb just to tease him again. She was really enjoying this now.

'Nothing. Of course nothing. Just the tango.'

She was ready to press the play button again.

'Here is how we're gonna do it this time. So we fit into this ridiculous space.'

She started her instructions: 'First, .... our bodies need to be much closer almost all the time; second ... my waist needs to be much more flexible around you, and she demonstrated that in practice; and third, .... you need to be much nimbler with your hips. Got it? … Hello? … Are you listening to me?'

Chuck's eyes were rolling around, but it wasn't because of one of those flashes.

'I ... think, I … got it, yeah …. got it.'

'And of course, follow my lead. I'll be handling it from here.'

As Chuck had remained speechless, she pressed the play button and they started the dance.

As Sarah had correctly predicted, it was much better the second time. They had fallen on the bed only once.

After it was over, they were lying there on the bed trying to recover some of their breath.

'Phew, that was exhausting,' Chuck sighed.

Sarah got up, turned to him and said 'I'm sorry Chuck, but it's still not perfect, we need to do it one more time.'

'What, …. for heaven's sake, Sarah, … I'm totally spent here. No way. '

'But I can promise you,' he went on, 'we'll be doing it again and again until it gets really perfect. Just not now!'

Yeah, he really looked totally spent to her now.

'Okaaaay,' Sarah had finally felt sorry for him, melting a bit. 'Maybe you're right. I think I squeezed more than enough out of you already. Let's have a rest, okay?'

'Okay, thanks for the understanding.'

"But did you learn your lesson, Carmichael, ... Charlsh Carmichael? She was again imitating him.

'What?'

'Never challenge my dancing skills, okay?'

'Not in a million years, I promise.'

'Good.' She smiled. 'And what were your plans for the evening by the way?' she casually asked. 'We were not gonna finish on this, right?'

'Oh god,' now he remembered that he had had his own plans.

His eyes glistened. 'Ready?'

Sarah raised her hands, staring at him. 'Of course I'm ready. Why do you think I'm here with you?'

'Well, since we are so tired from all this crazy dancing, its time for us to _sleep_ now,' he said loudly, winking at her.

Then he sat on the edge of the bed with his back facing her and started undressing. Then he slid under the covers. He turned his head to see what she was doing.

She was standing there already in a quite revealing dark blue underwear outfit, so Chuck's eyes were about to pop out. 'What?'

'What, what? This is part of my cover, remember?'

'And how much do you think it covers, from what is supposed to be covered? 1.3 percent?'

'Shut up Chuck,' she shouted. 'Or we are going for round three. Don't you lecture me how to be professional, OK?'

She turned the lights off, slid under the covers and turned to him, 'Now what?', she said playfully.

'And now we sleep I guess. I'm sorry if I snore a bit,' he said loudly. She figured it was for Casey's microphones.

'You snore? Oh, well, it's … still not the end of the world.' She shook her head.

'Yeah, … sorry, it's in the family. Passionate and snoring, … that's us, … the Bartowskis.'

'Smooth, Chuck,' Casey had exclaimed, with his headphones on. 'Your getting laid has just got postponed by another five thousand years.'

'And I like to sleep with my head covered, you know,' Chuck was staring at her.

'Head under the covers?' Oh, she saw he was trying to tell her something, 'Aaaand so do I. I always do that. Nighty night, Chuck.'

They turned back to back and covered their heads, pretending to sleep.

Casey was watching at the screen but once the lights were off, everything was blurred in black so he concentrated on the audio. Nothing.

He stood up to get another break for his tormented hearing. He could hardly stand this anymore.

Xxx


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This last chapter has been edited and improved by my peerless _editor extraordinaire,_ a tireless _connoisseur_ of my desperate attempts to be funny, and …. and since my vocabulary of difficult to spell French words has just dried up and there is nothing more to impress you with, yeah, that would be NickyR.

Beware again, a lot of innuendo and hot stuff. You need to be at least 67 years old in order to read this chapter. Otherwise, you are grounded Mister or Miss ... until you reach the above-mentioned age. Sorry.

**Chapter III**

**Unleashed**

Once under the covers, Chuck started turning around, very slowly, doing his best not to make any noise.

Now he was facing Sarah's back. He poked her lightly with a finger and whispered, 'Turn around, carefully.'

Once Sarah turned, Chuck switched a small flashlight on between them.

'Hello again.'

'Hi silly!' Sarah was giggling quietly. 'Now what?'

He pulled out from under his pillow a small piece of paper and unfolded it for her.

It read, 'Follow my lead, ok? _You might be puzzled a bit but will understand later._'

She nodded. 'OK.'

Then he slowly pulled from under his body two folded plastic inflatable pillows. They were however flat now. He handed one to her.

Then he pulled another small paper and was trying to unfold it for her to read.

But she had already figured this out.

'Yeah! Blow!' She whispered at him viciously. 'I got it! But you should do your part of it as well, ... you got that? … That's how it is supposed to be!'

'Sure, sure, Of course. … please don't be angry at me!'

2 minutes later the pillows were between them, properly inflated. They were quite oblong, so together with the rest would be more than enough.

Sarah thought she didn't need any more instructions. She had assumed his plan was to slide away through the Morgan door and go somewhere to a restaurant or something.

But Chuck had grabbed her hand and squeezed her lightly so she looked at him again.

He pulled out another paper and pointed the flashlight for her to read. "Meet me under the bed!' See ya!'

'What the hell?' she giggled inside, but she had already decided to follow him in this crazy thing. It was childish but certainly better than nothing. She wasn't sleepy anyway as she was still feeling some hunger.

Half a minute later they had both successfully landed under Chuck's bed.

"Hello again,' he smiled. 'Missed me?'

'Like never before,' she grinned.

'Really?'

'Don't push it Chuck!'

"OK, OK.'

'Now what?'

He pointed the flashlight between them at the floor.

Aaah! Only now did Sarah notice that the rug in his room had been removed. Oh, that's why she had been feeling so comfortable dancing on the wooden floor. The rug would have created all sorts of problems to their dance.

But now Chuck's flashlight was following a barely visible crack in the shape of a large square – oh yeah! A trap door! Sarah's eyes opened wide.

He turned the lock left and carefully allowed the trap door to fall down on its hinges without making any noise.

Then he pulled out from somewhere a second flashlight and handed it to her. He turned the last piece of paper and showed her the other side.

"Ladies first!"

She giggled quietly and pointed the light at the hole. Yeah, she could see the stairs now. She twirled her legs toward the trap door and positioned her feet on the hole. 'Eyes closed, soldier' she whispered at him as too much of her was now visible.

'Sure, sure,' he whispered back, but as Sarah was stepping down she decided to check on his eyes – she pointed the light at him. His eyes looked closed but his left eyelid was nervously trembling.

She smiled, shaking her head and went down the passage. Chuck followed her and closed back the door from the inside. He checked one last time that everything he needed was there with him.

Sarah was already down there.

'Oh, My god! The place was ideally cleaned up, smelling fresh and nice. There was a small table with candles and plates.'

'_Ah, that's where he was all morning,'_ she now figured. '_He was cleaning and preparing it.'_

He was down there with her now.

'Wait!' He was looking for something. 'Lighter, lighter. He found it and started lighting all the candles around. There were more than 10 she could tell.

'Wow! Chuck, that's .... awesome!' she exclaimed.

'See? I told ya. Our cover is still intact up there,' he pointed with his finger, 'and we have some quality time, away from everybody.'

'Yeah,' she could see that now.

'Wait,' he said. There was a fridge bag next to the table. He opened it and started taking the food out from there, placing it in the several plates that were on the table. Then he lifted a bottle of wine from the floor and filled the glasses.

'Well, Agent Walker, … Sarah,' he started, 'welcome to our first romantic cover underground midnight picnic.'

He raised his glass.

She was silent.

He looked around, raised his shoulders and added, 'well, at least it is not fake, right?'

She still hadn't moved, mesmerized by the whole setting.

'Ah, … Charlsh Carmichael finally succeeded in heart-warming you a bit, didn't he?' He asked playfully.

'Well,' Chuck said, 'let's eat,' he sat down on his chair.

But Sarah was still thinking. _So he had been working here all morning, clearing up who knows how much garbage, cleaning up and refreshing, moving this table down there. Then prepared the food, and thought of the smallest detail how to outfox Casey, writing down all these silly instruction papers._

_She giggled inside again._

'_And before that he had bought this ridiculously expensive dress, for which she was still going to kill him, and yeah, she knew that he had practiced the tango for a dance with her there at the Wilshire Grand. _

_And he had certainly hoped for more than a cover date tonight. She didn't have any doubt whatsoever about that._

She looked around and finally realized why she was feeling so surreal.

_Protected from the outside world, no enemies, no cameras, microphones … She was feeling completely safe. _

_Sarah had always thought she had been a cat in one of her previous reincarnations. Cats loved to have a hiding place. Their entire lives were filled with tension – they either had to look for food or be on alert for the ever lurking dangers, or both. So they loved to find a really dark and strategically located place away from the dangers. Their perfect outside calm center._

_It was the same with her, the spy had always had to be on alert for all kinds of missions, enemies, worries. And before that, while in the con business with her father, danger was always there._

_Now, she was completely secure here. It felt like a completely different universe. _

She had never felt like that!

She focused on Chuck now. He was watching at her, realizing she was totally overwhelmed by her reverie and was waiting for her to come back.

'Well?' He asked. "This was supposed to be an underground, spy cover picnic. For real! I thought you were hungry by the way."

'Yeah, I am a bit hungry.'

Sarah pulled the table a bit away from him and sat on his lap. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. Then she started kissing his neck and taking off his T-shirt.

While agent Carmichael hadn't expected exactly this, he knew how to finish this particular operation without further instructions from the Intersect.

It's just that at the beginning he had reached to the table, grabbed the remote and had pressed another combination of buttons.

It happened to be one of these 'mission accomplished, mission repeated' operations.

Xxx

Casey had put the headphones back again. He had just prepared something to eat. He was both eating and monitoring the asset now.

All he could hear now however was a pretty powerful cadenza of snoring.

'Wow, welcome to Board Mill Bartowski,' he smirked at the sounds coming from Chuck's bedroom.

He took the headphones off, unplugged them from the PC and turned down the snoring sound a bit on the speakers.

Then he plugged the headset into his Ipod, lied on the couch and turned on his collection of selected presidential speeches. It started with JFK's _Ich Bien Eine Berliner_ and ended with his favorite - Ronald Reagan's _Tear Down This Wall._

But his thoughts were definitely elsewhere. He hated this chaperone thing. When would these two morons finally learn how to break the rules?

Every time he told each of them "Keep it in you pants', he had tried to make it sound like "make it look like you're keeping it in your pants.' But they wouldn't get his signals. Maybe it was his facetiousness, but he couldn't help that.

He had even replaced the cameras pointing at the Morgan door with faulty ones for the occasion, hoping they would slip out of there and go to Sarah's hotel or wherever.

'Hmm,' he grunted, 'there is nothing more I can do for them at this point. Rules.'

Xxx

Later on, Chuck and Sarah slid up back under the covers of their 'upstairs' bed.

The snoring from his music system was still going on and on and on.

Something occurred to Sarah. She winked at Chuck and whispered, 'play along.'

'Could you please stop snoring, Chuck,' Sarah said loudly, pushing him lightly.

Chuck pressed the stop button. 'Uh, … what, …. what's going on?'

'You're snoring Chuck,' She teased.

"No I wasn't."

"Oh yeah?" Sarah pulled the remote from him and pressed play. "And what's that then, hah?

'What, you were recording me?' he protested. 'How nice of you? Give me that!' They were scuffling for the remote.

Finally Chuck got it and pressed stop.

'Ah you, Agent Mischievious.' He scolded.

'What?' She challenged him.

He was thinking. He needed to ask her some questions but Casey's microphones weren't supposed to pick those.

He switched the nightstand lamp on and took a notepad and a pen from the drawer.

He wrote something and the handed it to her.

'Well, what happens to us now?'

She wrote something back.

'First, I have a question. You know, ladies first. Where did you record this? It's not you on the tape.'

'Good hearing, Agent. It's Casey. Yesterday I went there, to ask him something and he was lying there on the couch, snoring. I recorded him with my Ipod for 5 minutes. Then rerecorded and rerecorded it until I had a _2 hours_ track. '

'2 hours, hah! Show-off!'

'Shut up. Just to stay on the safe side.'

'So that's what you were doing this morning. Preparing the basement and the recording?'

'More or less …. My turn now. What happens to us now, Sarah?'

'Well, … everything is as before. Our cover is still intact, right?'

'Better than ever, don't you think?'

'I guess, so.' She slapped him on his hand.

'Another one. What's with the dancing obsession?'

'…..'

'Again, what's with the dancing obsession?'

'…..'

'Again, Sarah, what's with the DANCING OBSESSION?' (No more dodging, OK?)

' Sigh. OK, OK, everybody has quirks, don't you think? Think about Casey and his car, for starters.'

'Yeah, I guess. Yours is sweet.'

' Thanks, Chuck. I really need your support on this.'

'Sure. BTW, when is it supposed to subside?

'What?'

'The quirk. When are you going back to normal?'

'Oh, I don't know. Last time it took me several … months, I guess."

'Oh, God, I'm dead.'

'And Chuck …'

'What?'

'Remember what I told you about the second time? Was I right?'

'Yeah, I know. I was not a virgin, you know …. will you stop teasing me?'

'No. … okay …yes. But just one last thing before we sleep.'

'What now?'

'Tomorrow. There will be rounds 3, 4 ...'

'Oh, yeah, … until we learn to dance the tango perfectly around here, right?'

'Yeah, … that too. … Sleep tight.'

'Damn you Agent Mischievous! Are you crazy?'

'Why, what's the problem, Chuck?'

'Your tease, … you know? I wanna divorce!'

'How if we are not married yet, dummy?'

'OK, I'll hire the best lawyer in LA and the prenup will be iron clad, _no teasing._'

'The best divorce lawyers are men, guess who'll be more successful in getting the best.'

'Not if he is … you know, … of the other vocation.'

'Ohhh, you are threatening me now with your gay charms, Chuck?'

'Shut up, I wanna sleep, now. Will you stop teasing me?'

'No …'

'Why?'

'Because I like it. And besides, … do you know what time it is?'

'1.05 am.'

'Well?'

'What well? Sarah, would you stop?'

'It's tomorrow silly.'

'So what?'

'_Tomorrow?_ It's time for rounds 3 and 4?'

'Oh God, you gotta be kidding! … Sarah! …. What are you doing? …. What is your hand doing there? This is not the remote! … Hey, … this is not the remote! Aaaaaaaaarh, help! I want divorce now!'

'See? This was teasing.'

'I want divooooooooorce!'

xxx

An USAF Predator was still hovering above. Its legitimate operators were getting really mad at this time of the night. They couldn't even see what the Predator was monitoring. The feed had already been deleted once the bird was landed. They were trying to track down the hacker but could only determine it was somewhere in the Far East.

In a small hotel in Taipei, there sat a man still in his trench coat. He was watching the monitor. Every day he was using the infra-red thermal imaging sensors of the Predator to make sure that there were still three dark orange spots in a certain apartment in the LA area. He needed to make sure that they were still alive.

More than often two of those heat sources were too close to each other and heavily interacting, essentially joining into a one bigger spot, radiating more heat than usual.

The third spot was almost always alone and in a sitting position in front of a desk at the opposite end of the apartment.

It was a bit different this time. There were four dark orange spots and all were heavily interacting.

Aces, …. Charles, …Aces!

**End**

A/n: That's the end of this story for now, I'm still playing with the idea whether to write a sequel. What happens next, at least till the quirk finally fades away.

Update: Well, I'm actually already preparing another chapter and have further ideas. It seems like the way things got out of control between Sarah and Chuck offers tremendous opportunities for further exciting developments.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Yeah, I know. I reopened this story. I was actually the first to find out, can you imagine that? **

**There is just still too much to tell. It'll take Chuck some effort to get Sarah out of her quirky, playful mode. In chapter VI Sarah and Chuck will bump into a pretty colorful set of characters from another hit show.**

***** Special thanks to NickyR for the advice and editing... I still make changes after her editing, so the bad stuff is certainly mine.*****

**Chapter IV**

**Squeaky Clean, Squeaky …**

The alarm clock was buzzing. Sarah groaned in irritation. This time she was way more annoyed than usual. First, last night was a bit too exhausting and she hadn't slept that much; and second, it wasn't 9:30 as she thought but still 7:00. But she hadn't realized that yet.

'Dammit!' She slid her hand under the pillow looking for one of her knives. Once she grabbed it, she tossed it even without opening her eyes.

The alarm had stopped. '_Ha,'_ she thought, '_you are really getting better and better with the knife. You can kill it even with your eyes closed now.'_

But the alarm clock hadn't stopped because of Sarah's knife. An even more annoyed Chuck had stretched and reached his alarm clock killing its sound with a simple push on a button.

None of them had opened their eyes. Both were still just too tired and sleepy.

Otherwise they would have seen that Sarah's knife had pierced right into the geometrical center of Chuck's relatively new 32" plasma monitor.

And yeah, she always had a knife or two near her, especially now that she was handling the asset from such a close proximity.

xxx

At 8:45 somebody had finally noticed that Chuck wasn't at the Buy More and raised the question.

His phone was buzzing on the nightstand now.

He gasped and tried to reach it without trying to open his eyes.

'Hello …' he said sluggishly. 'Oh crap,' he grunted. It was Big Mike.

'Bartowski, where are you? … Are you still sleeping? Oh, have you been doing the horizontal jogging with somebody there…?' Big Mike was yelling in his ear.

'No, no, no, noooo! Uhh, … I'm sorry big Mike, I just have a horrible sore throat, … and temperature … high temperature.' Chuck had risen a bit now.

'You better not be lying to me, … son.' Big Mike warned. 'Or …"

'No, no, I'm taking aspirins and vitamins and …. hope to get there in the afternoon. 'If I get better …what the … Sarah, … what's that?' He blurted, totally forgetting who was still on the line.

Chuck's eyes had finally got focused on the knife stuck deep inside the heart of his favorite monitor.

'Ahh, Bartowski,' his boss had increased the volume in his ear, 'so you were actually doing it with the Blondie, huh, … well I'm gonna kill you when you come here for lying to me. And I need you here ... now!' At that Big Mike hung up.

Chuck however was not worrying about his boss. His eyes were still focused on the knife sticking out there.

'Wow. Why would Sarah do that?' Chuck wondered. 'Talking about wild. Talking about the quirk. Was that part of it?'

He remembered last night. _The mother of all nights and the father of all days._

And then another question came out of nowhere. "Do you actually love Sarah?" He had never asked himself before. He was certainly infatuated with her in all possible ways and had fantasized about them living together as a real mature couple. But did he love her? Did he want to spend the rest of his life with her?

He focused on the second as it sounded easier to answer. Yes, he had no doubts about that. He really cherished every minute spent with her.

He tried to quickly recall everything he had felt and thought about her ever since the first time they had met. He liked her immensely when he saw her for the first time and once she had become his cover girlfriend, there was this idea, somewhere in the back of his mind, that one day they may actually be together. Ellie had been constantly goading him into thinking about them as a couple.

Yes, he definitely cared about her. But was that love? Chuck realized that he probably had never loved a girl or woman in a mature way. The girls he had fallen in love with at school probably wouldn't count.

He remembered his only recent love interest. Jill. But she had managed to stab him in the back, and in the worst possible way at that.

Yeah, Chuck thought to himself, maybe learning what true love is, is still ahead for you. Maybe he is learning about it now.

Still staring at Sarah's knife he realized that there was a more immediate problem ahead of him.

He wondered how to gently wake her up. He needed to talk to her and she would be late for work if not getting up soon anyway. Last night it even occurred to him to talk to her about seeing a shrink about the quirk, but he didn't have the courage to do so.

He turned to his right and looked at her. How can't one not be in love with her, he thought. She was not only so beautiful, but smart, understanding, goodhearted, … everything you would be ever looking for, idiot.

He leaned in and started blowing lightly in her ear and then around her face. The tiny streams of air were now really tickling the still sleeping Sarah.

First, she started grimacing as if that would be enough to chase away a really annoying fly. Then she quickly reached her ear with her left hand and started rubbing it.

'That's fun!' Chuck exclaimed to himself. A-haaaaa, it was time for him to get back at her for all the teasing last night.

Once she stopped and let her hand rest on her chest, Chuck started again with the air-teasing.

That was a big mistake. Sarah's mind had just gotten somewhat awake and had decided that it was some kind of danger. For one, she had been sleeping so deep that she had forgotten that she wasn't actually in her hotel room.

Her right hand, which was farther from Chuck, swirled violently and punched Chuck right under his left eye. He fell down on his back screaming like a girl. 'Aaaaaarh!"

Sarah had already jumped onto him with her right hand high in the air ready for another punch. It was now however that she realized it was Chuck under her.

"Oh my god, Chuck, I'm so sorry, I thought it was a hostile. Ohhhh, did I hurt you?' she started caressing him under the eye as it was visibly reddened there.

'Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry too, … I should've known better. I shouldn't have been teasing you that way. Of course you should've thought of danger first.' Chuck was still terrified.

'Chuck, I'm really terribly sorry about this, did I hurt you?' she leaned in and gave him several light kisses where soon there would be a dark blue spot.

Then she remembered that they were now in exactly the same position as in the Wienerlicious closet yesterday, when she had realized that they had never been so close to each other. She continued kissing him on the face and moved down to his neck.

'Sarah, … Sarah.'

'What silly? You need to be punished for the prank you pulled on me, don't you think?'

'Ahhh, as much as I'm excited about this light speed transition from almost dying a horrible death to almost dying of a pleasurable death,' he was panting, 'I have a really burning question in my head.'

He was pointing at his temple now.

'What Chuck,' Sarah asked rising up. She was still straddling him however. 'Did you flash on something?'

'No, … it's something else. Look behind you.' He was pointing at something behind her now.

'Why?' She signaled with her lips. 'A hostile? Casey?'

'No.' he signaled back silently. 'Your knife.'

'What?'

'Yeah,' he was nodding.

'Ohhh,' she now remembered how she had "silenced" the alarm clock. 'Oh wait …. But that was not her hotel room. Oh crap.'

She finally got off Chuck, turning around at the same time.

Right, she had killed his monitor.

'Yeah,' she exclaimed. 'See? It's right in the center. I'm still the best in the world with knives, right Chuck? But what stopped the alarm clock then?'

"That would be me." Chuck raised his hand and swallowed hard.

'Don't worry, I'll come later to the store and buy another monitor, OK?'

'Yeah, … yeah,' Chuck was hesitating about something.

'Chuck, ... what … what's on your mind?'

'Sarah, he pointed at the knife, 'do you think this is part of your quirk, … the one that is supposed to fade away … … in the unforeseeable future? Why, … why would you throw a knife at my monitor?'

'Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I was in my room, and there is this alarm clock, that is bugging me from time to time, ... so I thought I was tossing the knife at it.'

'Oh, is that how the quirk likes to shut up a truly innocent alarm clock when annoyed?'

'Oh no, no!' Sarah had started, and she was just about to add '_I normally silence my alarm clock like that, this is not the quirk_; when she realized that it would scare Chuck even further.

'Aah, …. yeah. It must be the quirk, you know, what else could it be,' she smiled at him. 'Normally I don't do that to my alarm clocks, unless under really extreme circumstances, you know ... life or death situations.'

Uh, .. OK, OK,' Chuck felt a bit relieved. 'I think I need a shower now, "_an especially cold one_," he thought to himself. Sarah had spent too much time sitting on top of him so he needed some cooling down.

'OK sweetie,' she said, take your time, she walked to the now dead monitor to examine it.

Chuck was just about to leave the room when Sarah said grinning 'Chuck.'

'What?' he said without turning.

'Do you think I can turn it on, like this, without first pulling it out, … I mean the monitor, aah … and the knife, … the knife,' she asked snickering.

'Sarah, is this the quirk talking again?' he asked still without turning.

'I don't know, ... why don't you guess?' she answered playfully.

Chuck opened the door and went out without saying anything. Good thing he had grabbed a towel and some underwear.

He was in the bathroom now staring at himself in the mirror. There was a dark red spot under his left eye and it was certainly going to get darker and darker.

'_Oh god, Big Mike will see that and Jeff and Lester will tease him to death with their jokes.'_ He needed to talk to Sarah. Ask her if he could use some kind of make up to cover this. He turned around and walked out in order to see if she had something to fix that.

On his way back to his room however, he bumped into Ellie and Devon. They were just about to leave for work.

'Morning bro,' Devon started, 'how was last night, ah; I was rooting for you, wow, wow, what's that, Chuck?'

Devon had noticed the red spot on Chuck's face. 'See, I told you honey,' he said to Ellie, 'angry sex.'

'Shut up, Devon,' Chuck snapped, 'it's not dark blue yet, don't you see? It happened now, I just …'

'Aaah, angry morning sex then, … even better.' Devon interrupted.

'Slap!'

'What, what was that for Ellie. I'm just rooting for your little brother, no offense bro.' They were walking through the front door now.

'Byyye you two,' Chuck waved at them. 'Phew, at least they wouldn't be around now.' He got back to his room.

Sarah was still in front of the monitor, clearly wondering about her latest idea. Her knife was still deep inside the screen. She had obviously been wondering what will happen if she turned it on with the knife still there. As Chuck was walking in she pressed the power button.

There was a loud crack, sparkles and then a dark cloud starting to color Chuck's beautiful snow white curtains in some yet to be determined shade of gray.

'Great,' he gasped, 'and why would you do that, huh?' He inquired, giving her a really stern look.

"I … ah, I was wondering what would happen, … just curious.' She tried, grinning, and giving him that look.

'What, ... what are you now, ... Dennis, the Menace?'

Chuck just shook his head, and remembered the reason for getting back here so quickly.

'Sarah, do you have any idea how I could cover this spot? With some of your make up, maybe?'

'Why, Chuck, what's wrong with you as you are right now?'

'Come on, could you be serious for a minute, please, … Sarah?' He enunciated on the last words. 'They will kill me with their jokes there.'

'OK, OK, just go and take your shower, I'll put some powder on your face before we go, OK?'

'Good, thanks,' he said, turned around and walked back to the bathroom.

Sarah was still thinking. She smiled again. She reached her purse and checked its content. Yeah, she had a small powder case, a lipstick, a Mascara and an eyeliner. She took out the powder and the lipstick and slid them under the bed chuckling.

'_Sorry, silly, no powder, seems like I've forgotten it at my place.' _

'Aaah,' she realized still giggling. _She felt so good. As it was the last time her quirk was set free she felt so good, so … liberated of all her inhibitions._

Last time the quirk was a bit nasty because it was set off by her dancing arch enemy at the CIA school, where they had been training, but this time it was in a benign and fun mode. '_I like this Sarah Walker much better_,' she thought.

xxx

Chuck had just turned the faucet on when he heard a door click and then another one.

'Sarah what are you doing here?' an agitated Chuck asked.

'I'm in a hurry dummy, late for work. I need to brush my teeth, fix my hair, etc.,' she said and was already starting with the teeth.

'But what about my privacy?' Chuck tried to complain.

'Privacy, … what privacy? We are a couple, remember, what cover would that be? Devon will immediately smell a rat, don't you think?'

Chuck thought for a second, 'Yeah, … yeah, he definitely would,' he had to agree.

'OK, but please don't violate my privacy any further, OK?' He said and made sure the shower curtain was properly spread.

'Chuck,'

'What?'

'You know, I'm already a bit late …'

'Yeah, I know, I'll be finished pretty soon,' he promised.

But Sarah wasn't listening, she was just talking.

'You know all these diners, … had these extra hygiene requirements. Everything has to be squeaky clean,' she shouted so Chuck could hear her through the noise coming from the shower.

'Yeah I knew that but it was really fascinating to hear it again.'

'Squeaky clean Chuck, squeaky, …. squeaky.'

Suddenly Chuck realized that something was really wrong. Sarah's voice sounded to him too loud now, like she was outside the shower cabin curtain.

'Sarah?'

'What Chuck?'

'Why are you staying outside the shower and repeating 'squeaky, squeaky?"

'Aaah, I was looking for a word … umm, could you suggest one that rhymes with 'squeaky'?

'Oh no,' he tried to grab the two sides of the shower cabin curtain but she was faster, she pulled it, jumped inside and pulled it back.

'Hello, silly. Missed me? I got the word. It's quickie, … a quickie.'

Chuck didn't even try to protest, as he knew he wouldn't be able to resist her now.

Xxx

8 hours ago Stephen Bartowski had typed one last command for the predator drone after landing it back there and disconnected from the Internet.

He had created a whole phony hacker community here in Taiwan and was hacking the predator on their behalf. The last 'hard' and traceable Internet hop was 500 yards away from here. It was the apartment of a middle-aged Taiwanese, who was in fact a member of a local Yakuza gang.

Stephen had a miniature drone several feet away from the window where the wireless router was. Now he had just sent a command to his little bird to come back to him. From this home to him the Internet connection was totally untraceable.

Stephen Bartowski himself, as good as he was both with software and hardware equipment, could have never built such a high-tech bird alone. Its engine and battery were beyond his expertise.

Luckily for him, during his days with the US government he had to cooperate with the Israeli drone effort. He was writing some of the firmware for the predator and was in close contacts with his Israeli counterparts.

The Israelis were still the best in this field as they had been working for many decades whereas the Americans for just about 15 years. An Israeli engineer from one of their two major manufacturers had asked him for advice as he couldn't find a solution for a software problem – how to process the info from all other components fast enough.

Stephen had the solution and the right type of hardware as that was part of his job with the predator project. So he even offered to write for him the code, plus suggesting the chip model. It worked.

In exchange however, he asked for several of the prototypes, and Yoni, his Israeli friend, agreed to send him 10. It was child's play for Yoni to report them as faulty or exploding during the testing. Nobody even cared to check on that. His bosses were under tremendous pressure from the military, the military from their political ones. Israel was about to start a major reconnaissance operation and nobody cared how Yoni had gotten to his highly successful engineering solution.

Stephen Bartowski started another Internet connection and sent a heavily encrypted message to Chip with further instructions. Chip was the son of his third cousin in Chicago and he had offered him a well paid job in LA. Chip didn't get much at the Buy More but Bartowski was paying him additional 3,000 a month just to stay close to his son and report everything.

Thus Chip provided him with intel about his son during the day, and then he got the thermal images around midnight just to confirm that Chuck was OK after all these missions Team Bartowski was carrying out.

That's where Stephen knew about the cover date of his son with Sarah. He had closely followed his internet activities, including Ebay and once he found out that Chuck was looking for a particular dress he posted an offer for such a dress offering to be paid in several installments, insisting a down-payment of only $500.

Now Stephen deleted his account at the ebay, sending one last message to Chuck on behave of _ConstellationX, _which was his ebay account name.

"Sorry, I have to urgently relocate my business operation to another country. Will contact you later to discuss your paying of the rest.'

Of course he had no intentions to do that. Before closing the corresponding paypal account he wired back the down payment of 500 under the pretext of a glitch in the paypal servers and asked Chuck to send them back a bit later. When Chuck finally did that a day later, he got back a message that there was no such paypal account anymore.

After deleting all accounts Stephen Bartowski finally smiled.

And then wondered when was the last time he had the chance to smile on such an occasion. He could finally have the opportunity to help his son in a really significant way. He sighed. Who knows, tomorrow he may finally get caught or killed, so this could even be the last thing he did for him.

His thoughts moved to Chip again. His cooperation was absolutely essential. It would have been impossible for Stephen to buy the dress from here and sent it to LA. Chuck needed it in less than 24 hours. So Chip just went to one of these elite boutiques there and purchased it from there.

'And where on earth did Bryce Larkin disappear?' Stephen cursed. He couldn't find him anywhere.

Xxx


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Well, my editor **NickyR** and I couldn't agree on the title of this chapter. So, there it is double-titled.

Can you guess which one is hers and which one is mine?

**Chapter V**

"**Oops, …. I Did It Again!"**

**Or**

"**Poked In The Eye By The Passion Of Love"**

An hour later they were driving to work in Sarah's Porsche. Chuck finally found the courage to start it.

'Hm-ummm,' he cleared his throat, '… Sarah.'

'Yeah.'

'I think you, … I mean we… we should see a specialist, … a shrink, something like that. To look for some help about this thing, you know …'

'What thing?'

'You know, … the thing, … the playfulness, the tease, all this …uh truly magnificent side of yours.'

'If it is truly magnificent, then why do you want it gone?'

'Uh, remember the monitor, … the knife? It may get dangerous, for our cover, for you? What if Casey and Beckman find out? What if they decide to take you away from …. me? '

'You know,' he went on, 'I'm really concerned, ... that I may lose you, if they take you away for some reason, … uh, Casey is always breathing down our necks … I mean, I have no idea what he's talking to Beckman when we are not there.'

'Oh, I see. … Okay.'

'Okay? You are okay with that? … Really, … Sarah?'

'Of course. It may get out of control after all.'

'_I thought that ship had sailed …,'_ Chuck thought to himself.

'So, you're really ok with that?' He repeated in disbelief.

'Sure. … I had seen a shrink before. I was in high school when it happened to me, … for the first time I mean. My dad took me to a counselor here in LA. I'll call her later and get an appointment. Is that fine with you?

Sarah remembered her high school days. How awkward she had been then and how her nemesis there had tormented her. Heather Chandler, the cheerleader, … and the rest. Especially at parties, when they had been mocking her for her geeky dancing.

'Dammit,' she cursed loudly and pressed on the accelerator.

'What, … what was that about,… Sarah?' a really timid Chuck asked.

'Uh, … nothing Chuck, I just forgot to call my boss that I'll be late. I really hate this job.'

'Oh, I see.'

Sarah remembered how she had lost control the first time. After one of those torturous parties at high school she had gotten home with her blood boiling really bad. She was in the kitchen and was cutting some carrots when she remembered again how Heather and the rest were getting at her.

She had turned around and tossed the kitchen knife with all her strength, amplified by the anger that was looking for an escape route.

There was a dart board at about 15 feet. The knife had pierced the very center of the board and was still vibrating there. Yeah, she remembered that, right before the toss her eyes got focused on the board for an instant.

'Oh, … wooow!' she really loved that.

She went there and pulled it out and tried again. No, it wasn't that perfect but still good. So she tried again and again. She got to love doing that, she felt so relieved when she had gotten her target perfectly. Sarah had realized that she didn't need to make some special mental calculation. Apparently, she had some special intuition about knives.

The second time Sarah had such an outburst was when she was at the Farm, the CIA school for undercover agents. They had a dancing course there that was so demanding, and required you to multi-task during the dance.

An undercover agent had to be not just an excellent dancer but do additional, critical things in the meantime, like passing or receiving a message, lifting a wallet or a credit card from the mark, sticking a bug on the inside of his jacket or her dress, monitoring the environment, planning for an escape route, and whatnot.

All that without raising any suspicions, of course.

Sarah was the best in the class but when the final exams were over, it turned out that another girl got higher marks than her. It was her nemesis there during the course, this skinny girl who was training for undercover work for the DEA.

They had been exchanging snide remarks over the entire training course and once the results were out in the open Sarah had lost it again, there in the dancing hall, once the instructors had left. They had started fighting really hard and it ended with both of them missing a tooth or two.

It was so good that dentists can make all these miracles these days.

They were so exhausted at the end that both started laughing at their own stupidity. Sarah and Carina ended up friends and were on missions together several times later on. But the competitiveness remained. It just wasn't so intense now.

When Sarah's Porsche entered the Buy More parking lot, she served Chuck another really pleasant smile and said. 'Hey, come over for a lunch at the Wienerlicious during the break. We'll discuss this shrink idea of yours there, OK, … sweetie?'

'Yeah …., sweetie, …good idea. See ya." Chuck was about to jump off the car when she said:

'Hey, hey, what do people who are in a mature relationship do when parting?' She asked and then stretched her neck toward him offering her lips.

'Yeah, right,' Chuck kissed her quickly and rushed away. 'Sorry, I still got a lot to learn.' '_Idiot_!'

'Aaah,' he just remembered his blackening eye and turned back. 'The powder Sarah, the make up,'

'Oh Chuck, yes, come here, get in.' She reached for her purse, opened it and stared there.

'Hah!'

'What, Sarah, what's wrong?'

'My powder kit is missing. And the lipstick. They must have slipped off my purse somewhere, most probably in your room. Oh, … I'm so sorry.'

'Oh my god!' Chuck exclaimed. 'They're gonna kill me with their jokes now.' Big Mike had learned that I was with you, Jeff and Lester must have found out, …oh God.'

'Ooooh, … poor, poor baby. But we are a grown up, mature couple now, right?'

'Yeah, of course, … of course we are, … why?'

'Don't you think you should be able to take some heat for your beloved? Or do you want me to come and defend ya?'

'Oh, no, no, no. Of course not. And besides they don't know that you are a super spy, just a weak and defenseless … girl …uh woman. I can take some heat … a lot of heat actually, don't worry Sarah. Actually it's even better that way. This black eye. I need it actually. Toughen me a bit.' He clenched his right hand in a fist and winked at her.

'Really Chuck?'

'Yeah, … yeah, I'm sure now.'

'Oh, do you want me to punch your other eye then?'

'No, no, no, I don't think that would be necessary. Sarah, … are you making fun of me?' Chuck asked noticing embryonic traces of smile on her face.

'No, Chuck, why would I?' she sounded really serious now.

'Ok, sorry, … bye, see ya at my lunch break.'

'Byyyye …, my love,' she added very silently.

'_What was that?_' Sarah scolded herself. Now she was making fun of him. Maybe she really needed to see a shrink.

Sarah got off the car and headed toward her so not exciting cover job. Especially now, when she was feeling so good, she dreaded returning here. But she had no choice. She sighed and entered the stupid hotdog place.

Xxx

Chuck had just passed through the gates of the Buy More. Everything there looked business as usual. He sighed. 'Yeah, except for me.' With this highly decorated eye he wondered how many jokes he'd have to live through in order to reach the break.

Lester and Jeff spotted him first.

'Ah, Romeo, what's that around your eye? Did you fight with your partner about who is the man in this relationship? Or maybe it is … 'Juliette'?'

' O Romeo, Romeo? Wherefore art thou Romeo?' Lester had started.

'To fix your make-up, my beloved, where else?' Jeff had finished.

They gave each other a high-five, laughed out and disappeared somewhere.

Then Casey.

'Aah, Casanova, what happened last night after you bored me to death with your snoring, there in Board Mill Bartowski? Some flying piece of wood has poked you in the eye by mistake?'

'Haaaaa, very funny, Casey, I appreciate that, ... carpenter humor.', Chuck had remembered his promise and decided to take all blows stoically.

'No, seriously,' Casey went on while looking around. 'It's my job you know. Your physical safety is almost as important as your never-ending virginity.' He winked at him.

'Shuuuut uuup,' Chuck snapped at him and headed to Big Mike's office.

'Hmm,' Casey was thinking. Chuck's last two words sounded a bit different. There was some confidence, probably even traces of arrogance in them.

'Hmm,' he grunted again. '_What did you and agent Walker actually do last night, huh?_' Casey narrowed his eyes thinking.

Whatever it was, apart from personal curiosity, he actually didn't care. He was playing his role properly and had the necessary video and audio evidence that nothing had happened. If those two had been smart enough to outfox his lukewarm chaperoning, then so be it.

Chuck knocked at Big Mike's door.

'Come in. Ah, Bartowski …,' but then Big Mike remained speechless for half a minute as he had focused on Chuck's black eye.

'Wow, should I have said one-eyed Serpico, … did you actually manage to fall on your eye while doing the Blondie!' he started. 'Hmm, … that's a first. People get all sorts of injuries doing this, but the eye, wow, that must've been one hell of an action, young man! Congratulations, Chuck!'

Chuck was trying to deny it but when he saw Big Mike's hand extended to him, he gave up.

'Thank you Big Mike.'

'I'm proud of you, son. I obviously had underestimated your acrobatic abilities ….' Then after thinking for a couple of seconds, he added. 'Maybe you'd like to share how you did that?'

'No, no, no, Big Mike, that would not be necessary.' Chuck had cursed to himself.

'Of course, of course, so it's a secret, huh. Your trademark secret, ... I see. Poked in the eye by the passion of love. Ts, ts, ts. Maybe you should apply for patent rights.'

'_Oh God, that's too much even for me_,' he screamed inside, but then remembered again his promise to Sarah.

'Hmm, …uh …is that all, …. Big Mike?'

'Ah, there is a large pile of computers that needs to be fixed. Deadline – the end of the day. Good luck.'

Then Big Mike leaned against Chuck and added, 'Unless you want to share with me the secret, OK?'

'Computers it is, boss, old and rotten computers.'

'Well,' his boss sighed, 'it's your choice, but I could help with some advice, you know,' he said to Chuck nodding and winking at him.

'Thank you very much , ... byyye.'

Chuck quickly got away from there cursing. 'And when is this torture finally gonna end?' he whined to himself.

He was almost there, with the broken computers when Jeff and Lester popped out of somewhere.

'Hi Chuck!'

'What, … guys? What now?'

'We got you a present.' Lester's right hand was behind him.

'Ta – daaaaa!'

Lester was holding now a brand new make-up kit.

"For our Juliette, so she should be always so pretty!'

'I picked the shades for you, Chuck.' Jeff added. 'It'll bring out the brown in your eyes.' He added nodding.

At this, the two Buy Morons raced away as fast as they could, giggling.

'Laugh it out morons,' he shouted after them.

'_Phew_,' it was as hard as he thought, but he took it as a man, yeah..

Chuck sighed and started fixing his first computer for the day.

Xxx

Chuck threw a quick glance at his watch. Finally, it was break time. He rose and quickly planned the safest possible route to the Buy More's exit so that he could avoid all these clowns who had dared joking about his injury.

Strange, Morgan was nowhere, so Chuck assumed he was somewhere with Anna.

He was just about to leave the store when Casey caught up with him.

'Hey you, … slightly incapacitated lover boy, … where're you headed?'

'Lunch with Sarah at the Wienerlicious.'

'Ah, … another tryst, I guess. Wasn't the last one more than enough?' He pointed at his eye.

'Shut up, Casey!'

"Should I call an ambulance,' Casey quipped, smirking at him, "Just in case agent Walker gets passionate again?'

Chuck was glaring at him now. 'Why don't you …'

'Aahh, I got it Casanova,' Casey interrupted, 'after Agent Walker finishes with you she'll take you to the hospital by herself. After all her Porsche is much faster than any ambulance, … good back up plan.'

Casey winked, gave him the thumb up and finally let him go.

'_Laugh it out boys, but who's got the girl after all, hah?_' he hissed to himself and headed to the Wienerlicious.

Xxx

Chuck knocked and Sarah jumped to open the door for him. She was alone there as it was her break time as well.

'Hey, how was you morning, Sarah?'

'The morning? Weren't you there with me? Remember, ... under the shower?'

'I meant the late morning part, … yeah, I remember the early one, … so vividly.'

'And, what do two people who are in a mature relationship do when they meet again after not seeing each other for another eternity? Our cover, remember?'

They kissed.

'How has your day been so far?' she asked.

'Uh, not exactly the usual. A nightmare, to be honest.' He shook his head again. 'I got skewered about ninety-five times about the eye. Everybody knew as big Mike had spread the news or Jeff and Lester had overheard him while yelling on the phone.'

'Great, … I mean our cover is now better than ever, right?'

'Yeah, … I guess so.'

'Ok, what would you like to eat?' She asked him. 'I have some wiener-sausages and a couple of sandwiches left. All fresh. Everything else is gone, it was a busy day here.'

'A sandwich is fine, and a coke, thank you.'

Sarah served the food and sat against him.

'What,' she asked as she saw that his eyes were about to pop out. He was staring at her plate with real horror in his eyes.

'_Oh, that was the problem, ha,'_ she thought. _He had made one of those associations._

She had served herself a wiener-sausage and this one happened to be a really impressive one. She had forgotten to take a fork and a knife for her so Chuck obviously wondered how exactly she would eat that without teasing him again.

'_Ha, how could I miss that,'_ she said to herself.

Poor Chuck, she didn't intend to tease him that way, but now that such an opportunity had presented itself she simply couldn't help it.

'What's the problem, … you don't like this sandwich, Chuck?' She stared at his sandwich. 'It's fresh, ... I made it just several minutes ago.'

'No,' he swallowed really hard, '...it's ok.'

She moved her eyes to the sausage.

'Oh, you like that one?' She pointed at it. 'Here, … take it. I can get another one for me, do you really want it?'

'No, no, no, … nooooo, I'm fine here with the sandwich.'

'Ok then, … let's eat, I'm a bit hungry.' She smiled at him.

'Sarah.' He started, really struggling with the words. 'Before, we start, … whatever this is, … eating, I guess, … did you talk to the shrink, … setting an appointment, maybe?'

'Yeah, Chuck, sure, I promised you that, remember? So, let's eat now, ok?'

'When,' Chuck rushed to get out of his mouth, just before she was about to start with her sausage.

'Ah, today, actually, … Linda and my father knew each other well so she agreed to see me, … us actually, right after her official working time, 6,30 tonight, OK?' She was about to start eating again when he interrupted her again.

'Sarah …'

'What Chuck? What now?'

'Why don't you take some tools, … utensils, … whatever, I mean for the sausage? Pleaaase.'

'Ah hah, so that was it, huh?' Sarah started. 'What about your inflatable pillows? Did I complain about it?'

As a matter of fact she had but Chuck wasn't able to say anything more, he just sat there with his eyes closed now, but it didn't help one bit as his imagination was filling in the blanks, anyway.

'OK, OK,' Sarah said. 'I'm going for some tools,' she enunciated.

Chuck sighed in relief and opened his eyes.

'Thaank you, Sarah, … sweetie,' he said with some relief.

Sarah had picked something from the counter and was now coming back.

When she reached their table, Chuck saw that she had a small cutting board. She placed it on the table and then next to it a small chopper.

'Is that OK with you?' She smiled at him.

No, it obviously wasn't. That much she could tell.

'OK, OK, I'm really sorry.' She took a knife and a fork out of her pocket."

'I'm sorry, I simply can't resist it.' Sarah started, sighing. 'I'll have to admit that I enjoyed teasing you again.'

'I know Sarah, … it's just that this was all too outrageous in the beginning and then too horrible in the end.'

'Listen,' Sarah said, cutting her meat into really small pieces now, 'I'm picking you up at 6, and at 6:30 we'll be there and see how Linda can help us, …. I mean me with this teasing, quirky thing, OK?'

'OK.'

They were eating their food when something occurred to Chuck.

'Wait, Sarah, why do I have to be there with you? I mean, will I have to be in there, during the session?'

'Of course, silly. I told Doctor Freeman that we seek her advice as a couple. She is into marriage counseling these days. And besides, you are part of the problem, you know.'

'How?'

'I'm into this playful, mischievous mode only with you. You don't expect me to be that way with everybody, ... right?'

'No, no, of course not, … I see. He exhaled. Ok, I'm in.'

'Of course you are _in_, where else could you be?'

'Sarah ….'

'I know, I know, sorry. And by the way, this whole thing, it won't be fun to do it by myself, you know. It's much better to do it together, right?'

'Rrrright!'

Just before they finished their lunch Sarah looked at her watch and said:

'Good. We still have 10 more minutes. I'll be able to clean up this mess here. Because you know, this place has to be squeaky, squeaky clean, …. squeaky …. Hey, Chuck, … where are you going … why the rush?'

Chuck had raced through the door and was now heading to the Buy More before Sarah could spell out the proper rhyme for squeaky again.

She was at the door shouting after him.

'I got it, Chuck, it's quickie, a quickie. Byyye!' She was waving at him. 'See ya at 6!'

Xxx


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Here it is, Chapter 6.

As mentioned two chapters ago, Sarah and Chuck will bump into another set of characters, Charlie, Alan and Jake Harper, from _**Two And A Half Men**_. The events follow what has happened in _**Rough Night In Hump Junction**_, episode 15 of season 5. Here is a synopsis of the episode:

Charlie Harper is having the worst period of his life. Non-stop alcohol and promiscuous liaisons, several each day. Angry husbands come to his house and start beating him, he even gets arrested for solicitation. He can't even walk like a man and uses an inflatable doughnut pillow to sit since he is a bit too 'tender in the giblets' as he himself describes his anatomical predicament.

Finally, he goes to his shrink. Dr. Linda Freeman quickly establishes that the reason for his self-destructive behavior is his inability to get over his grief about his former fiancée, Mia, who is getting married soon. He goes to NYC to talk her out of the incoming marriage but bumps into her father who also punches him in the face as Mia has told him everything about Charlie.

Well, what else? Oh, yeah. In this chapter somebody will finally say 'I love you!' Let's see who will do that first. Chuck or Sarah?

**Chapter VI**

**Tough Afternoon In The Psycho Junction**

Chuck did his best to finish with all these crappy computers by 6. When he came out of the Buy More, Sarah was there, standing next to her car in the parking lot. She waved at him.

When he finally got there she was already in the car and was again offering him her lips for a welcome kiss.

'Buckle up, Chuck! It's gonna be a wild ride.'

'Why, Sarah, why?'

'It's a 40-minute drive and we got to be there in 25.'

'Oh, my God.'

Sarah was a pretty wild driver anyway, so now she was reliving her imaginary career as a NASCAR one who was just about to win or lose the whole championship.

At some point, after another risky maneuver, Chuck asked timidly:

'Are you sure it's the right time for us to get into trouble with the police.' His right hand was numb from the non-stop gripping on the handle.

'Don't worry, my special agent badge is here and we are on official business, don't you think?'

'Official business?'

'Of course, Chuck. The mental stability of a certain agent is of crucial importance to the Intersect. If this is not government business, then I don't know what is.'

'As arrogant, selfish and mischievous this logic is, I actually can't find a flaw in it,' he admitted.

'See?' she threw at him that "look" again.'You'll just get used to this new Me, and then when it'll be gone you'll be sorry and begging, but ...'

'Are you sure you are not endangering the Intersect with this crazy driving?' Chuck interrupted her.

'Yes.'

'How come?'

'I'm just an excellent driver, no need to worry.'

'Oh, I see, your modesty is only excelled by your ….uh…' Chuck had stopped here.

'What Chuck, … by my what,' she looked at him playfully, '… say it.'

' … Dancing skills.'

'Rright.

They were silent for a minute or two.

'Chuck?

'Yeah?'

'Listen, I have a serious question.'

'Yeah, … serious.'

'No, seriously.'

'You mean it? ... Seriously?'

'Yeah, I swear.'

'Swear in what? My monitor's well-being?'

'No,' she chuckled, 'I swear in …. in … in you, ... in your well-being!'

'Ohh, ... OK.'

'You promise to answer it?'

'If it's not another tease.'

'It isn't.'

'OK. ... Shoot.'

"Which Sarah do you like better? …' she swallowed hard. 'The old one, or …. Me.'

Chuck was thinking.

' C'mon, Sarah, how can you torture me with that kind of a gotcha question?'

'No seriously. ... OK. ... What do you think of the old Sarah? And then ... of the new Sarah? And once the quirk is gone, wouldn't you be missing the playful …. Me?'

'You're really killing me with this.'

'Oh, c'mon, we are a mature couple remember? We are supposed to share things. We are going to a marriage counselor. Don't you think I have the right to know what my partner looks for in a woman?'

'I guess so.'

'So?'

Sigh. 'The old Sarah was … is … perfect … almost perfect.'

'Almost? What was her problem?'

'She's unable to open up a bit.' Now Chuck had to swallow hard. 'Share her feelings. Somewhat emotionally ... constipated.'

'But she is a government agent, her priorities are … hmm … elsewhere, right?'

'And how then you are so … relaxed now and still a government agent doing your job?'

Sarah was thinking.

'OK, what about the new Sarah?' she went on. 'How do you feel about her?'

Chuck was silent.

'Hellooooo, …. what about the new Sarah?'

Chuck sighed.

'She is … great, absolutely great, … just going overboard, pushing the envelope a bit too much, …you know, that sort of thing.'

'Aaah, ... I see. ... Last question.'

'Ok,' he sighed.

'Wouldn't you miss this new Sarah, … you know, once this quirk fades away?' _Was her voice quivering now, she wondered._

Chuck was silent.

'Well …?' Sarah has felt a really big lump beginning to form in her throat now. She took a coke from the cup-holder and sipped a bit. Good, that helped.

'Well, would you miss this new Sarah a bit, … or not?' She had sunglasses on her now, which was really great, as they were hiding her eyes, as tears were really trying to break away and go down.

'Yeah, … I will. … Of course.'

'_Ohhhh, ... talking about emotionally constipated_!,' she screamed inside and pulled the car into the parking lot, as they were already there.

_Chuck was probably right however. If she has been so unable to open up, what right did she have to require of him to be totally honest?_

They were out of the car, heading to an office building. Both when outside and then once they had made it inside, into the lobby, everybody was throwing glances at them, or probably at her, Chuck had noticed.

As always. _The Beauty and The Nerd._

He didn't even have the time to change. Sarah was wearing a really beautiful blue dress. She had some clothes there at the Wienerlicious so that she could change immediately if need be. Chuck, on the other hand, was still in his inconspicuous Buy More outfit.

'_What were they thinking while gazing at them?_' he wondered. '_What is this princess doing with the Mr. Fix-My-Computer geek? Most probably a cousin or something.'_

They entered the elevator and Sarah pressed for the 7th floor.

Ding! They went out and started looking for the office.

Yeah, must be down there at the end of this really long hallway. They headed there.

Two middle aged men, probably in their early 40's had just come out of a door there and were arguing loudly about something. A tall teenager just popped out behind them eating a sandwich.

'How many times do I have to tell you this, Charlie!' One of them was shouting really loud.

'Your pathological drinking and womanizing is not only ruining your life but mine, my son's and potentially my grandchildren …. if,' he turned to his son, 'there is such a dumb damsel to …'

'Ah, … good old Alan Harper,' the other man retorted. He was staggering a bit. '… the neurotic she-male, who always knows how to boost his son's confidence.' A still inebriated Charlie snapped back.

Although it was already late afternoon, he was still a far cry from even bordering sober. He hadn't been sober for days actually. It was one of his worst periods. Most probably the worst. He couldn't even remember how much alcohol he had had and how many women he had slept with over the last two weeks. That was his way to fight the news about his ex-fiancée's incoming wedding. Now he had both his eyes blackened and other dark blue spots and lacerations all over his body and face. Several angry, really angry husbands had found out about their wives being with him and turned him into a moderately used punching bag.

'Not good,' he thought, 'these two weeks could have been my personal record. 'I can't even keep my records in order anymore.' Last time he checked he was turning the three-thousand mark on the hump-junction front.

"One more word about my lifestyle and you'll end up with mom tonight.' Charlie threatened his brother, throwing at him what he hoped was his worst possible glare. "And then, forever, …Alan, … Alana. Forever with the she-devil.'

But Alan had had it. Nothing could stop his outrage. One of those husbands had rung at the front door and once Alan had opened it, he got punched instead of Charlie. His left eye was blackened as well. And he was there with Charlie in the bar later on when an undercover police officer had entrapped him into the solicitation.

'Oh, why is it always 'put up with my crap or mom's crap'? Alan went on with the yelling. 'Tell me Charlie, … is there still a young and beautiful woman anywhere in the entire LA area, … along the West Coast, throughout the entire continental United States that you haven't slept with?'

'O-hoooo! Helloooo princess …' Charlie had just noticed Sarah and Chuck walking towards him. "Yes, Alan there is still one. But not for long, I hope.'

They were still about 10 feet away of each other.

"Hello,' Sarah answered, ' … you two. I mean three.' She noticed the boy behind them who was still engulfed by the pleasures of his gigantic hamburger.

'You should be ashamed of yourself, you _Homo degeneratus_.' Alan was blabbering next to him.

"Hello you two,' he had responded to Sarah's greeting without even focusing on her and Chuck.

'Hi, I'm Charlie, … and ... what's the name of the most beautiful woman in the world?' Charlie tried a smile which wasn't easy considering he had a laceration on his lips and his nose was still hurting a lot.

'I have no idea,' Sarah replied smiling. 'Hey,' she pointed at him, tilting slightly her head, 'aren't you that guy who wrote all these jingles? I saw you on the TV once.'

'Yeah, … yeah, ... why don't you come to my house, … I mean mansion, … in Malibu? It's right on the beach by the way. I'll play for you, ... some of them, ... on my Steinway. Did you really like them?'

'As a matter of fact I don't remember well.' Sarah was frowning as if trying to remember them. 'It was long time ago, I think I was 8 or 9 then. I saw you on TV – you were what then, in your early 30s? Hey, is this your grandson?' Sarah pointed at the boy.

'Oh, crap' Charlie cursed.

'Ha-haaaaa,' Alan chimed in. 'How's grandaddy? Hahahaha, aaaaaaaa!'He was splitting his sides with laughter.

'Hi,' he offered his hand to Sarah grinning. 'I'm Alan Harper. I adore your style, .. not only did you just turn down this degenerate, but put him in his rightful place.'

He turned to Charlie and sang in his ear. "That would be with the elderly.'

'You're my heroine, a goddess to be more precise. I've never seen this before. I'm a certified chiropractor. If you and your … dependant,' Alan looked at Chuck, 'ever have a problem with your vertebrae, I'll be at your services. It's on the house. I've never seen this before, I'm so excited,' obviously Alan was so elated that he simply couldn't stop.

'So you two are brothers and still live together, right?' Sarah asked with obvious disbelief in her voice.

'Yeah, Alan, ... how lame is that?' Charlie slurred.

Chuck was goading her, 'Hellooo, where's the mystery, Sarah?' It's like a brother and sister essentially.'

Charlie looked at Chuck.

'Is your dependant a sexual addict as well?' He had noticed Chuck's black eye and assumed that it was of the same origin as his.

'Nice to see you, ... bro.' Charlie tried to wink at him but due to all his injuries and decorations nobody got what he was exactly trying to do with his face.

'Not necessarily.' Sarah replied dryly. 'More like a sexual minimalist, … especially if one uses your scale as a reference point.'

'He is a devoted follower of Kandinsky,' Sarah smirked, 'the minimalist, it's just that what Kandinsky did with his paintbrush ... he does it with ...'

'Sarah! I had more than enough for today, don't you think?' Chuck nudged her.

'Wow,' Alan, exclaimed, 'so glad to meed such a sophisticated woman. Kandinsky, huh. I particularly adore his devotion to 'inner beauty'.

'And yeah,' Alan added then, eager to explain his reasons to live with his 'granddad-ish' brother.

'I got divorced a couple of years ago,' Alan said.

'Bullcrap …' Charlie snapped. 'His wife left him because he was turning her into a lesbian.'

'Shut up you _Homo degeneratus_!'

'Yeah, and what does that make you … _bro_? At least I got there in a fun way. You did it in a neurotic one."

'I'm not a degenerate. Just a bit … nervous, … I guess, … because of you, … you, and …Judith.'

Alan turned again to Sarah.

'He doesn't know what he's talking about. Actually Judith thought she was going ... ah into this new lifestyle and that's why we decided to ... to separate.'

'I rest my case." Charlie slurred.

'I'm really sorry,' Alan continued, '... ah, and this is my son, Jake, he is fourteen, and this is, … quite unfortunately, my brother, _**Charlie Harper**_, Malibu's serial womanizer, who uses women in ways way way worse than napkins.'

Sarah smiled at them.

'I see.' she said.' "_What a sweet bunch!'_ She thought to herself but then realized that something was very wrong. Chuck's left hand had grabbed Sarah's right arm and he seemed to be staggering. She looked at him, yeah, his eyes were rolling back, he was clearly flashing.

Now he was blurting out:

'_Charles (Charlie) Harper, composer, chronic alcoholic and sexaholic. Has slept with hundreds of women in the greater LA area, including Mi Wong from the Chinese foreign intelligence service, six Eastern European female spies and 1 male transvestite from the Thailand special counter-intelligence directorate. _

_Several other liaisons with possible hostile foreign agents still under investigation.' _

'Hey, hey, hey you, ... one-eyed, … sexually minimalistic … moron,' Charlie, apparently deeply offended by his intelligence dossier, had gotten really cocky now.

'How dare you,' he went on, '… it's not hundreds but a little over three thousand now…. And once I found it was a dude in this Bangkok hotel, I jumped over the balcony. Thank god there was a pool there, ... sheesh. ...

'You want me to fix your other eye there, huh, you , sexually deprived ... ' Charlie was trying to focus on Chuck's Buy More badge, 'buymoron?'

Charlie was again trying to give Chuck some really menacing looks and again, due to his multiple facial injuries, nobody could get it.

'What the hell?….' Alan Harper yelled grimacing in disbelief while staring at Chuck. 'How did you know all that?'

Sarah didn't have any more time to think. Her right leg was flying high in the air and hit Charlie's jaw while she was taking her gun out of her purse.

'Federal agents!' She hissed viciously at Alan, pointing her gun at him and his son. Charlie was already down unconscious.

"On the ground, now!' she said quietly. The last thing she wanted was people coming out of their offices to check what was going on.

She took out her badge and was just about to place it under Alan's nose when the neurotic degenerate fell on the ground over the sexaholic one. He was unconscious as well.

'Wow,' the teenager exclaimed now. As Sarah was in a dress, Jake had been able to see most of her underwear while her right leg was high in the air kicking his uncle.

That was the first thing that had been able to distract him from his sandwich ever since he had started with it. Now he was gazing at her with his eyes wide open.

'Wow,' he repeated, 'this is so cool … and you are so pretty! I think I love you! Will you marry me?'

Xxx

A/N:

***** Special thanks to NickyR for the advice and editing... I still make changes after her editing, so the bad stuff is certainly mine.*****


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Thanks again to all readers who are sticking to this crazy story. It's incredible that after chapter 3, which was supposed to be the end, and ended on such a high note, the interest remained the same. Even after our magnificent duo bumped into another set of characters. Frankly, I expected the interest to fall down by a factor of ten once the Charlie&Co. got involved into the action.

A reminder: For those who haven't seen or don't remember _Two And A Half Men. _In season three Jake had gotten infatuated with Mia, the ballet teacher. At the time Charlie Harper was trying to seduce her. Unfortunately for Jake, Charlie got the girl.

***** **Special thanks to NickyR for her really **quick** advice and editing. In fact she is so fast in responding to my draft chapters that by the time the last electrons of my email reached her, she had already edited the first half and was already bombarding me with her corrections. If it was up to me I would change her nickname to Nicky-the-speed-of-light-R.

**Chapter VII**

**Fake Couples Have Their Problems Too**

***

That was the first thing that had been able to distract Jake from his sandwich ever since he had started with it. Now he was looking at Sarah.

'Wow,' Jake had repeated, 'this is so cool … and you are so pretty. I think I'm in love with you! Will you marry me?'

'Yeah, … maybe,' Sarah answered, '… maybe, but first you need to finish school, ok?'

'Yes, …yes. I can do that' Jake said somewhat unenthusiastically.

Sarah had looked around, thinking where to put those two idiots.

'Chuck, are you OK?' Sarah asked anxiously, staring at him.

'Yeah, …yeah, … I am now. Oh God!' He exclaimed. _He had never had such a long flash. After flashing on Charlie's file, Chuck had gone through the files of all those spies the degenerate had slept with._

'Chuck, please go and see if there is anybody in the rest room over there.' Sarah asked him.

Chuck strode quickly and entered the restroom. Thirty seconds later he came out, 'Clear.'

'Jake,' Sarah started, 'would you help us move your dad and uncle there until the ambulance arrives?'

'Of course my love,' Jake dropped his sandwich on the floor and rushed to help her with Charlie. Chuck was already ahead, dragging Alan in front of them.

'You know,' Jake started but then stopped unable to say anything more.

Since Sarah's dress had a pretty impressive cleavage and she was leaning above his unconscious uncle there was a really magnificent sight, right before his eyes.

'That's not what a gentleman would do to his lady Jake,' she scolded him mildly.

'And what is a gentleman? I've heard this word, but I'm not sure I understand it.'

'For one, a gentleman doesn't take advantage of a situation to peek at a lady's … underwear.' Sarah smiled at him. '_Thank god I have a bra' she said to herself._

Jake was thinking.

'Ah, you, … double-faced …." Jake started really outraged.

'Who, Jake, what are you talking about?'

'My dad.'

'How come?' They both were now dragging Charlie and panting.

'He was the one who was telling me that I should learn to be a gentleman, … and

… he has all these skin mags under his mattress.'

'What?' Sarah was caught off guard.

'Skin mags? You don't know? Oh. Playboy, … uh, Penthouse… uuh ...Monster …'

Sarah chuckled. 'OK, OK, I got the picture.'

'How did you find out?' she asked.

'Hey, I'm 14 you know.' He winked at her. 'I already know a lot about women.'

'Oh, I see,' Sarah smiled.

'You know,' Jake went on, 'now that those two grumps are out of the picture, Uncle Charlie's Malibu house is all mine. If you were wondering how to spend your evening?'

'Maybe, Jake, ...maybe. I think I'll be visiting you soon there, anyway.'

'Really, oh cool!"

'Sarah, … what are you doing.' Chuck whispered as he could hear them.

'What?'

'He is 14, are you crazy, ... this must be some sort of a felony.'

'Mind your business, nerdy boy,' Jake snapped at him and then remembered Chuck's flashing. "And how did you know all this about Uncle Charlie? Are you a stalker? Like Rose?'

'Uhhh, …aaah,' Chuck was stuttering.

'Who is this Rose, Jake?'

'She was Uncle Charlie's stalker, and my friend.'

'Ohh, I see,' Sarah smiled. 'No, Chuck is not a stalker. He is an agent like me. He just has a lot of computers in his … ah,'

'In his what?' Jake asked.

'Aaah, … in his office. And he can remember a lot of information.'

'Oh, I see. One of these geeks, I guess.'

'Yeah, ….something like that.'

Sarah and Jake had already dragged Charlie inside and now laid him down next to Alan.

Sarah, still panting, took out her mobile and dialed a number.

'Casey, where are you?'

'I'm at home Walker, what are you doing there,' he asked as he could see their location from their GPS watches.

'It's an emergency, come here with a van, we need to detain two men. Uh, two men and a … another …. uh young man who was with them,' she smiled at Jake who immediately blew several kisses back at her.

'They all saw Chuck flash, and one of them seems to have had contacts with Mi Wong. Yeah, you heard right, Mi Wong. Just take a van and come here immediately. We are on the seventh floor in a rest room. Come here a.s.a.p.'

'OK, Walker, over.' Casey jumped up from his chair and rushed away. '_What were those two doing there?' he wondered._

Then Sarah sent a message to the shrink canceling the appointment.

Then she turned to Chuck. 'Hey, what did you see, … there?'

He looked at Jake and then went to the farthest end of the bathroom and opened the windows. He signaled her to go there. The noise from the outside should be enough for Jake not to be able to hear them.

'I don't know Sarah, I have no idea why I didn't flash on his face, maybe because it's even more … decorated than mine. But when I heard his full name I saw his file and then all sorts of files of female agents. This dude must have really been with lots of women.'

'OK, we'll have to see where to keep them during the interrogation.' Sarah said going back to Jake.

'Interrogation, … wow,' Jake chimed in, smiling and nodding. 'That sounds dirty. I don't mind being interrogated a little, what do you say … uh?'

'No Jake, it's not like that.'

'Well, I heard Uncle Charlie use this word several times. Handcuffed and interrogated. So I stick to dirty.'

'… Can I know your name?' Jake went on.

'Walker. Sarah Walker'

'Beautiful name, … officer, … are you with the police?'

'Something like that.'

'Yeah, I like that,' a widely grinning Jake was nodding at her and gave her the thumb up.

'Hey, hey,' he yelled at Chuck.

'What?'

Jake pulled his mobile out of his pocket and turned it into a camera mode. Then he handed it to Chuck.

'Shoot Mr. Geeky,' Jake said and pressed himself to Sarah, smiling at the camera.

Chuck was staying there cursing but he saw Sarah, first winking and then making all sorts of grimaces, signaling him to play along.

He exhaled and took a picture.

'More, … more,' Jake yelled enthusiastically. He had put his hands around Sarah and obviously didn't want to part from her.

'That's enough Jake,' Sarah finally said.

'Cool,' Jake grabbed his phone from Chuck and checked the pictures. 'Yeah, now all this morons from my class will finally believe me.'

'Believe what?'

'How cool I'm with the chicks.'

'Oh, I see.'

xxx

Finally Casey arrived with three other agents with him, all disguised as medical personnel. They carried Alan and Charlie away on two stretchers.

'Where?' Sarah asked him before he left.

'My place, in the basement. And you two,' he growled at them, 'have some 'splaining to do.'

'What about the boy?' Chuck asked.

'He's coming with us until Beckman and Graham decide what to do with all of them.'

'OK.'

'Jake,' Sarah started after Casey left with the others.

'Yes dear.' Jake had reacted instantly.

Chuck rolled his eyes.

'You'll have to come with us for a little conversation.'

'I don't have a problem with that.'

'Where is the car you came here in?' Sarah asked.

'I can tell you but I need something in return.'

'OK.'

'Could you give me one of those smiles I saw on your face 5 minutes ago?'

Sarah smiled at him.

'Uncle Charlie drove us here in his Mercedes and thank you for the smile, milady.'

'Thank you Jake, you did great.'

'Sarah,' Chuck stared at her. 'May I have a word with you please?'

'Yeah Chuck, what?'

'In private?' he insisted, staring at her.

'I think a rest room would cover "private" just fine.'

'You know what I mean.'

'_Jealous, huh_,' Sarah thought to herself. She was still angry at him for avoiding her questions.

'Okay,' she said and turned to Jake. 'Wait for us here Jake, we'll be back in a minute.'

'Yeah, I'll be here, waiting for you.' He said raising his eyebrows and smiling at her.

They went out.

'Sarah, what are you doing?' Chuck started.

'What do you mean?'

'Flirting with this boy?'

'Flirting? Don't be stupid, … are you jealous?'

'No, no, … nooooo. Are you crazy?'

'No, but you are, Chuck. Both crazy and jealous. We can't detain this boy. I have to somehow get to convince him to keep his mouth shut. He saw everything. He has a mother somewhere, … grandparents. What if he starts talking, huh?'

'Have you thought of that?' she went on.

'No, Chuck hadn't. 'No, … no, I'm sorry. That was really stupid of me.'

'Yes it was, Chuck, … can I do my job now? Which, by the way, is protecting the Intersect.'

She was about to enter the restroom again when Casey rushed out from the elevator.

'Hey you two, we are waiting for you down there. What are you still doing here? And what is this place? The receptionist told me this is the shrink's floor? Oh, … you two, … you didn't?'

'Shut up Casey,' Sarah snapped at him. 'Fake couples have their problems too.'

'Yeah, how could I miss that?' Casey smirked at them.

'Ok Casey, you take the Mercedes and the boy, ' Sarah said ignoring his remark, 'and I'll take Chuck. 'See you at your place?'

'You sure, Walker? You won't punch his other eye meanwhile?' Casey was smirking.

Sarah ignored him again and entered the restroom.

'Jake, come here. We are going home.'

'Really?'

'Yeah.'

They entered the elevator and a minute later were at the lobby. Once out of the building, Sarah saw the Mercedes and turned to Jake.

'Jake, you and this big …ah … doctor' she pointed at Casey, 'will be in your uncle's car and we'll see each other again at his place. There we'll have to talk, ok?'

'Okay.'

Sarah and Chuck got into the Porsche and she started the engine. She was just about to drive away when her phone buzzed.

'Casey, what's the problem?' Sarah asked but she was already having a really bad feeling.

'The boy doesn't want to get in.' Casey was chuckling. 'He wants to be with you in the Porsche. Seems you are quite popular with the early teen range.'

'Can't you do something about that?' Sarah grimaced.

'Nope, … he said either you and him in the Porsche or he wants to talk to his lawyer. He'd seen it in some movie and told me that he knew his rights.'

'Oh crap!'

'That's what I said.' Casey was clearly having fun.

'Are you enjoying all this … mess, Major Casey,' she tried to sound menacing.

'What do you think?'

'So now I have to deal not with 2 but with three men who are still somewhere in their teens?' she snapped at him angrily.

'Five,' Chuck added timidly.

'What?' Sarah asked grimacing at him.

'I think you forgot the … degenerates. Three plus two makes five.'

Sarah rolled her eyes. '_Good point_.' She had to admit however.

'I can always tranq him but that's not what we need right now.' Casey remarked.

'OK,' Sarah said, 'Chuck and I will go there and you take my car, OK?'

'OK.'

Chuck and Sarah got out of the Porsche and headed towards the Mercedes.

'Good luck with the kids,' Casey said joyfully while passing by her.

All Sarah could offer in return was a sour smile while they were exchanging the keys.

Soon after they were on their way back to Casey's, Sarah got another call from him.

'Yeah Casey, what now?'

'I can't get through to Beckman and Graham, I'm told they are at some reception in the White House. I'll tranq the suspects so they sleep until tomorrow, when we hear from them. You better take the boy to their house and stay there. Look for clues, something that may somehow explain his connection to all these spies and especially Mi Wong.'

'Yeah, and Chuck may …,' she looked at Jake, '… ah, himself find out something.' She hung up.

'Change of plans Jake. We are going to your uncle's house.'

'Cool! ….Ah, is the computer guy coming with us.'

'Yeah, I need him there. He'll be helping me protect you.'

Jake was silent, clearly thinking of something.

'Sarah,' he finally started.

'Yeah, Jake.'

'There is something I forgot to ask you.'

'OK, … ask now.'

'Do you have a boyfriend?'

'Uhh, … actually I do, Jake.'

'Ohhhh, … crap!' the disappointment in Jake's voice filled his uncle's car.

Chuck had winced and was about to say something but Sarah put her right hand on his arm in a clear signal to stay silent.

But Jake had seen her hand between the front seats and made the connection.

'Oh, it's the nerd, right?' he pouted.

'Yeah, Jake, his name is Carmichael, Charles Carmichael.'

'Hi, … Jake, You can call me Chuck.' he said awkwardly.

'And he is a great guy.' Sarah went on glancing at Chuck. "I'm sure you'll become great friends."

"Oh great, so I lose another girl, to another Charles.' He sad melancholically.

'Oh really, who was the first?'

'Mia, … uncle Charlie's ex- fiancée. And he blew it, can you imagine that? I shouldn't have let him have her in the first place.'

'Oh, … is this why your uncle is in this terrible condition? Because of his former fiancée?'

'Yeah, she got married last Saturday.'

'Oh I see.'

xxx

They had finally arrived at Charlie's house. Sarah parked and they all got out of the car.

She seemed to have completely forgotten that there should be a key to the front door on Charlie's key chain. She took out her picklocks and started working on the front door.

'Sarah,' Chuck whispered to her.

'What? Don't you see I'm working here?' she snapped back without turning.

'Sarah, turn around, … please.' Chuck enunciated.

She finally turned her head.

Jake was holding his key to the front door in his right hand, smiling at her.

'Allow me, milady,' he said cocking his head.

'Sorry,' Sarah blushed, 'occupational hazard. "Damn, she thought to herself. She actually needed to probe the lock now so she wouldn't lose any time if need be.

She had already checked the key; it was some very new model. Clearly it has been changed recently.

'So that's what you're doing for a living, huh.' Jake asked. 'Breaking in, right?'

'Yeah, that's part of my job. But you should keep it a secret, OK'

'OK.'

Jake opened and they walked in.

'Jake, why don't you show us around? Is anybody living here except your father and uncle?'

'Berta is here from time to time.'

'Who is Berta?'

'The housekeeper. She helps us with the chores.'

'I see.'

Chuck and Sarah were looking around for clues, but nothing came out. No flashes.

The whole place was a mess, right after some wild party. Clearly Berta hadn't come for some time. The only really odd thing that stuck out was the telephone set, which looked new, like it was just taken out from its box. It wasn't some well known brand. Sarah had never seen this model before. It was clearly some cheap Chinese model.

'_Ohh, Chinese_,' Sarah quickly made the connection. _Could it be Mi Wong who put it here, for some reason? Electronic monitoring? Audio, video, tapping the computer?'_

US intelligence services had been monitoring Mi Wong but then she suddenly disappeared once Mei Lin had defected. Mei Lin had told them only what she knew from their training course together. She didn't even know what department Mi Wong was working for.

She turned to Chuck and put her finger on her lips and took both him and Jake outside on the veranda.

'Jake, who brought that telephone and when?' she asked.

'Oh, … my father bought it yesterday. The day before, there was a party here and somebody had broken the old one.'

'But why these Chinese crap?'

'Oh, you don't know my father, do you?'

'What do you mean?' Sarah furrowed.

'Cheap ... what else. Uncle Charlie was too drunk so my dad couldn't ask him for money for a new phone so he bought this.'

'Oh I see.'

'He bought it from the 99 cents store. It's his favorite place.' Jake said shaking his head.

Sarah made a mental note to ask the NSA people to thoroughly sweep the place for bugs and cameras tomorrow. She took out a small device from her purse which looked like a mobile, turned it on, entered the living room and started sweeping. She started with the phone, first, while it was still hung up, then she opened it and dialed a number. No, her sweeper couldn't detect anything.

She tried to press the button to disconnect the phone.

"Damn!' The messages on the display were in Chinese, it wasn't even switched to English yet.

Sarah finally gave up with the handset, leaving it on the coffee table in front of the couch and went on sweeping the rest of the living room.

Outside, Jake was staring at Chuck, clearly wondering what on earth Sarah could possibly have found in him.

Chuck raised his shoulders and tried to start a conversation.

'Air's really fresh here,' he deeply breathed in. 'And the view is …. awesome.' He wondered how much a house at this place would cost. 'I envy you.' Chuck said smiling at him.

'Yeah,' Jake said, 'I envy you too.'

'How did you get her, … Chuck?' Jake went on.

'Uuuhh, … ahhh , it's … uh, it's …' Chuck suddenly found himself stammering.

'Complicated?' Jake had finished.

'Yeah, …yeah, how did you know what I was about to say.' Chuck asked knitting his eyebrows in disbelief.

Oh, please, this is so lame,' Jake said casually, 'my mom and dad always say that when I ask them about their divorce.'

'Oh, I see.'

'You know,' Jake started, 'you don't look to me like the uncle Charlie type. You're more like my … father, … complicated.' Then Jake suddenly stopped.

'What,' Chuck ask, 'why did you stop?'

'Uh, … nothing.' Jake said quickly. "_yeah, you are complicated,_' he thought. He remembered all failed relationships of his father. Yeah, he could see now that he actually had a chance with Sarah. After this complicated Chuck finally fails.

They were now leaning against the veranda rails with their backs to the ocean. Both were watching Sarah who was still sweeping the living room.

She was now down, kneeling on the rug, looking at and sweeping under the table with her behind facing both Chuck and Jake.

'Yeah,' both sighed melancholically.

'I like that.' Jake said.

'What, … what do you like, Jake?' Chuck asked nervously.

I saw this position in one of my dad's skin mags.'

'What? Oh, gross,' Chuck exclaimed, 'and put his left hand on Jake's eyes looking nervously around.

Chuck looked at the door to the living room. It was almost closed so Sarah most probably hadn't heard this particular part of their conversation. She was still there under the table.

Jake sighed again.

'Do you love her, … Chuck?' He asked sadly with his head tilted down.

'What, … what?'

'You heard me. Do you love Sarah?'

Oh … uh, I haven't thought about that … actually, ... uh, in fact I've been thinking about it recently.'

'Is that an answer? Oh, ... you're so lame; do you think you deserve her without even loving her?'

Chuck was looking at Sarah who was still under the table. She clearly couldn't hear them.

'Actually I do,' he added, 'I love her,' he blurted out, without realizing what he was saying.

'Ohhh,' Jake's intuition had detected that the last words were actually authentic.' …crap!" he added.

15 minutes later Sarah had finished with the bug sweep. She joined them on the veranda.

'Well, now what?' Both Jake and Chuck had asked simultaneously.

Sarah's face was slightly reddened, Chuck noticed.

'Are you OK, Sarah?'

'Yeah, I just stayed down there on the floor for a little longer while sweeping. I think I'm a bit dizzy now.'

She looked at her watch. It was 11:15.

'Well maybe it's time for us to rest and sleep,' she said while turning to Jake.

'Ah, I don't think so.' Jake shook his head. 'I haven't had dinner yet.'

'Oh, ok, ' she said, 'lets see what you got here.'

Sarah checked the fridge. There were plenty of products and food clearly untouched from the last party.

She started taking out some food while Chuck and Jake, already sitting at the table were again staring at her.

'Yeah,' both sighed quietly.

Finally Sarah sat down with them and turned to Jake.

'Jake, listen, tomorrow we'll take you with us to another apartment where you'll meet again with you father and uncle. We'll talk to them, and see how they can help us with these spies. But you must know that this is a secret. You can't talk to anybody now.'

'Even to my mom?'

'Even to her. Where is she by the way?'

'Holiday with her new husband.'

'Oh, good.'

When they finally finished with the food Sarah saw that Jake was sleepy so she suggested:

'I think we are all very tired and sleepy, time for us all to go to sleep, right Chuck?'

'Yeah, yeah,' he yawned.

They stood up and got back into the living room.

'Sarah,' Jake started.

'Yeah?'

'I know I'm 14 and my dad and uncle don't do that anymore, but could you tuck me in?'

'Sure,' she smiled. '… why not. Show me your room. I'll be back soon.' She said to Chuck.

'OK, OK, take your time. I'm golden here… don't worry about me.' He said casually.

Once in his bedroom, Jake took his pajamas and said, 'Wait for me here.' Then he entered his bathroom.

3 minutes later he was back with Sarah.

He slid under the covers and started, 'Listen, Sarah, this is the last time we are together alone, right?'

'Yeah, Jake, tomorrow we'll join your dad and uncle.'

'Will I see you ever again?'

'Yeah, yeah, I think I'll be around, at least for a while.'

'Oh, ... OK, but since this is our last time alone I need to tell you something.'

'OK.'

'I'm 14 and 4 months now so I need 3 more years to be almost 18, so will you be able to wait for me 3 more years?'

Sarah chuckled, 'I told you Jake, I have ... a… '

'I know, I know, a boyfriend, … the nerd. You know, I don't give you two more than a year. You will split up.'

'How do you figure?'

'I know, ... it's too complicated between you two.'

Sarah laughed out loud, 'And how do you know it won't work.'

'I know, I've seen it many times. Complicated never works.'

'Son of a …!' Chuck had exclaimed to himself.

He was standing next to the crappy Chinese phone and listening to everything. Apparently, Sarah had left, by mistake, the internal connection between the handsets on and one of those happened to be in Jake's room.

'OK, professor, you know a lot about relationships, I admit.' Sarah smiled at him. 'Good night now.'

She was about to get up but Jake stopped her.

'Oh, no, no, we are not finished yet, milady. I have one last question.'

'OK, shoot.'

'Do you love him … the nerd?'

Ohh, God, he really shot her this time. Right between the eyes. Sarah felt like having been hit with a hammer right in the forehead. She was so not used to lying to kids, especially when pressed in such a way.

'Ah, Jake, … actually … uh I have thought about that, but it'll be a secret between us ok?'

'OK.'

'Promise?'

'You have my word, milady.'

'Uh… I think I love him.' Sarah said very quietly.

'Ohhh,' Jake said very disappointed. 'How could that happen?'

'Uh, I wasn't sure until recently, but then realized … that … uh that I actually fell in love when I first entered his store and saw him there. Crazy, huh?'

'Oh, crap, love of first sight.' Jake said outraged.

'Why what's the problem with that?' Sarah inquired anxiously.

'OK, I give you 3 years, max. Still works for me.'

'OK professor.' Sarah sighed; she just realized that she had blushed. 'But this is our secret, remember?'

'Yeah, you bet, I'm not telling him anything.'

'Ha-ha,' Sarah chuckled out with some relief, 'of course you won't."

'Good night, Jake.'

'Good night, Sarah.'

Sarah stood up and opened the door, went out and closed it carefully. She was just about to get back to the living room when she heard the familiar girly scream, "Aaaaarh, help!'

It was Chuck of course. She took out her gun and approached carefully the bend of the hallway since most of the living room was visible from the corner there.

There was a young brunette holding a gun pointed at Chuck who was sitting in an arm-chair with his hands up. From her position Sarah could only see her back.

The woman had really dark black hair.

'_Oh, my god!_' Sarah exclaimed to herself. '_Asian? Mi Wong?_'

Xxx


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Again, thanks a lot for the interest.

*** Special thanks to **NickyR** for the advice and editing... I still make changes after her editing, so the bad stuff is certainly mine.***

**Chapter VIII**

**Keep Away The Superglue!**

***

There was a young brunette holding a gun pointed at Chuck who was sitting in an arm-chair with his hands up. From her position Sarah could only see her back.

The woman had really dark black hair.

'_Oh, my god!_' Sarah exclaimed to herself. '_Asian? Mi Wong?_'

While Sarah's first thought was Asian, most probably Mi Wong, she then realized that her figure was too tall and a bit chubby for a Chinese agent.

'What are you doing here?' the girl inquired in perfect English.

'Uhh, …ah, I'm just a computer guy.' Chuck tried to play dumb. 'I was called to fix a computer here.'

'At this hour? You're lying! Are you a stalker? Ah you!' There was obvious disappointment in her voice toward the end.

Sarah had quietly taken off her shoes, and now she raised her gun and silently stepped ahead in her trademark cat walk.

'Freeze, federal agents!' she yelled, 'don't move or I'll shoot you! Raise your hands, slowly.'

Sarah's gun was already right behind the back of the brunette.

The woman in front of her turned her head slightly to the left so she could see a reflection in the windows. It was indeed somebody holding a gun behind her.

'OK, OK,' she raised her hands.

Sarah took her gun in her left hand and reached for the gun of the intruder.

Then she made several steps backwards and ordered:

'Now turn around, slowly.'

No, no, she wasn't Asian, fair complexion, as hers, Irish-American, probably, Sarah thought.

The woman in front of her tilted her head a little, opening her mouth.

'Wait, I know you from somewhere.' She was pointing at Sarah.

Sarah was staring at her as well. Yeah, there was something vaguely familiar but she couldn't remember.

'Jenny? …Jenny Burton?' the brunnette started. 'We graduated together.'

'_Ohh, the other nerd,_' Sarah remembered now, 'Uh, … Rose? Is that you?'

'Wow, y_ou've changed a lot!_' both said simultaneously and started laughing.'_You look fantastic now!_" both went on.

'What are you doing here, by the way?' Rose then furrowed, 'and who is this computer guy?'

'I'm with the government, and so is he.' Sarah replied still gazing at her.

'What? I am with the government! FBI, domestic counter-intelligence.' Rose started but at this moment Jake rushed in.

He could hear everything from the handset and now that Rose's name popped up he decided that there was no danger.

'Rose,' he yelled, 'where have you been?'

'Oh, Jake, my dear, how are you?' Rose opened her arms and then hugged him really tight.

'Oh,' Sarah exclaimed, 'so you are Rose … the stalker?'

Rose looked at her frowning.

'Yeah, … some people tend to see it half empty. Poor souls.' She said while still hugging Jake. 'But they are wrong. It's love."

'And you are at the same time …' Sarah pointed at her, but Rose put her index finger on her lips before Sarah was about to say FBI. ' … uh mixing business with pleasure" Sarah went on.

Rose nodded affirmatively. 'Yeah. You can say that.'

'Jake it's time for you to go to sleep,' she went on. 'Let me tuck you in. She dragged him back to his bed.'

'Jenny Burton?' Chuck started. 'Wow!'

'Shut up, Chuck, this is one of my many names. I changed many high schools and had different names everywhere. This isn't my real name. So I met a lot of people. Be prepared for all sorts of surprises like this.'

'So you were already with the CIA while in high school?' Chuck asked in disbelief.

'No, … it's a long story, forget it.'

'Aaah, it's not how it works Sarah-Jenny-whatever other name.' He pointed at his head.

'The skeletons in your closet will soon become skeletons in mine as well …." He said playfully. 'Well, probably.'

'Yeah, .. and then your own skeleton will join them there. … Well, probably.' Sarah glared at him.

' Wow, why so hostile, agent High School? Okay, uhh, … okay.' Chuck had changed his tone completely as he had seen how serious in fact she was.

'And besides, do you have a problem with Sarah Walker?' Sarah asked with obvious irritation.

'No, no, no, it's Sarah Walker for me. It's perfect, believe me.'

Rose finally came back.

'Hey, who do you work for? She asked Sarah, 'and who is this,' she had pointed at Chuck.

'I'm with the CIA and he is with me. Carmichael, Charles Carmichael. He's an analyst. And my name is Sarah Walker now, forget about the past, … ok?' Sarah sounded really ominous.

'OK, OK, my lips are sealed, 'Rose winked at her.

'Oh, Rose!' Sarah pointed her finger at Rose again realizing something. 'You are here for the same reason we are, right? Charlie's spies.'

'Yeah,' Rose sighed melancholically, 'that too. And I was taking care of him.'

'Yeah, you mean stalking.'

'Stop saying this, would you?' Rose pouted.

'OK, OK, sorry!' "_Stop using the damn word you idiot!_' Sarah screamed at herself.

'I discovered all these suspicious women ending up in his bed.' Rose had started her sad story. 'So I contacted the FBI. They checked it out and I turned out to be right.'

'They were very impressed by my … uh … surveillance skills.' She continued. 'So, they decided that being … in love with him is my perfect cover for the surveillance.'

'So you know about all of them, about Mi Wong and the six Eastern Europeans?' Sarah asked.

'What?' Rose asked in disbelief, 'You're kidding, right? That's not all, … there are at least 27 according to my records.'

'Oh god,' Chuck sighed.

'What?' both Sarah and Rose turned to him and asked.

'I thought I was the most important intelligence asset.' He smirked. 'It seems like Charlie's … uh, mojo has caught 20 enemies more than me. Obviously I have a lot to learn.'

'Yeah,' Sarah snapped at him, 'and you need to learn how to keep your mouth shut!'

'I don't understand.' Rose said, knitting her brows. How does he catch spies? Is he another super lover, like Charlie?'

Now Rose has glanced at Chuck in a completely different way.

'Not necessarily,' Sarah rushed to say before Chuck was able to say anything himself. 'He is more of the Kandinsky type.'

'Oh, … another minimalist.' Rose sighed. 'Like Alan.'

'Sarah, you're doing it again.' Chuck protested.

'Oh, ... you two,' Rose was now pointing her index finger at them, moving it left and right.

'No, no, no, not at all.' Both started gesticulating.

'He has another way of catching spies,' Sarah cut Rose off, 'but it is 'need to know', … so let's leave it at that.'

'Yeah, … yeah,' Rose said, 'did you know that I have a master's degree in behavioral psychology from Stanford and specialized in body language?'

'Our cover is boyfriend, girlfriend, Rose, forget it!' Sarah insisted.

'OK, OK,' Rose smiled at her, 'I just tore my diploma off and accepted that. My lips are sealed.'

She approached Sarah and whispered in her ear, "Really cute!"

Now Sarah approached Rose's ear and whispered something back.

Chuck could detect the already disappearing traces of smile on Sarah's face so he started:

"Are you talking about me? Behind my back? I think I really need a lawyer to protect my privacy, you know!' He protested.

'Relax silly,' Rose retorted.

'Sweet.' She then replied to Sarah.

'And where are Charlie and Alan?' Rose finally remembered about them.

'They were detained several hours ago.' Sarah replied. 'We'll have to interrogate them tomorrow and see what our bosses will say.'

'Oh, I'll have to call mine too, then. Yeah, … everything's changed now,' Rose said sadly.

'Now what,' Chuck asked Sarah, 'and by the way,' he turned to Rose, 'thank you for not pulling the trigger while holding the gun at me.'

'Ah, don't worry, the safety was on, … I'm new at guns, still learning. My thing is surveillance, you know.'

Rose winked at him.

'Well,' Sarah started, 'now that everything's cleared up, why don't you stay here with Jake, and Chuck and I will take a walk along the beach, ok?'

'Sure, I'll be in my room.'

'_Your_ room?' Sarah knitted her eyebrows.

'Yeah, up there, with Charlie.' Rose said shyly.

'Oh' Sarah said, 'so you two …'

'Yeah, …' Rose said melancholically, '… once, … that's how it started. The whole … st … … I mean love thing.'

'Oh, dear,' Sarah said, 'what happened?'

'We were together, … during the night I mean, … once.'

'Great, and then?'

'Aaah, … he dumped me.'

'Oh, I'm so sorry, Rose. What happened next?'

'Well, … uh ….ah, I think I super-glued his testicles to his thigh.' Rose blurted out.

'What?' …Chuck had jumped up outraged, 'How could you do that? Even to ….him, … to this Charlie character?'

'Uh, I was … uh so furious at the time, .. it seemed to me like a good idea..'

'Yeah,' Sarah chimed in smiling. 'Good thinking, Rose. That's what an unfaithful partner deserves,' she winked at Chuck.

Chuck's eyes were about to pop out of their orbits. He was so indignant now. This time he decided to seriously talk to Sarah about this quirk. It was really getting out of control.

'And what happened then Rose?' Sarah went on.

'Charlie got a restraining order for me. But my parents knew some really powerful and influential lawyers. So I got it reversed in a week.'

'It must have been a really tough week for you.' Chuck suggested.

'Nah,' Rose exclaimed, 'not at all, … you really think a restraining order can stop me?' she shook her head. 'Sheesh.'

'Yeah, … yeah, indeed, what was I thinking?' Chuck openly scolded himself.

'Well, it's getting really late.' Sarah interjected. 'Tomorrow will be a really busy day. We'll take a short walk on the beach, you sleep tight.'

'And where are you gonna sleep then?' Rose asked.

'Uh, on the loungers on the veranda, or here ... on the couch, don't worry Rose.'

"The room next to Jake's is Alan's. I can prepare for you a clean set of bed sheets.' Rose suggested.

'Don't worry Rose,' Sarah said, 'it won't be necessary.'

'OK, nighty night,' Rose said and went upstairs.

'Well', Sarah said, 'let's have a walk. There is something we have to talk about.'

'Anything, that doesn't involve super-glue,' Chuck quipped.

Sarah chuckled, 'Relax, I was kidding.'

'Thank you God, ... I'm so relieved to hear that.'

Xxx

There were walking along the beach, right where the water was reaching their bare feet.

'Nice place, and so quiet and peaceful,' Chuck started.

'Yeah,' Sarah agreed. 'It's really beautiful here.'

She was just about to say something, but some noises, although very low at the beginning, started reaching them. Moans and groans from a couple somewhere in the dark were getting more and more distinctive.

'Oh God,' Chuck said, 'this is gross. 'I think it's time for us to turn around.' He suggested.

'Good thinking,' Sarah agreed. 'Who knows how many more couples lurk here along the beach.'

'Yeah, I guess so.'

'They turned around and headed back to Charlie's house.

Chuck started again, in his awkward way. 'Good thing that at least this part of the beach in front of the house is un …', undamaged, he was about to say, but then he remembered Charlie's horrible reputation.

'Ugh.'

'I guess we are heading back to the house.' Chuck suggested.

'No, wait, we need to talk about something,' Sarah stopped him.

'Oh, ok.'

'You know, Chuck, … I have an admission to make. ... While I was there under the table, sweeping for bugs, I was able to hear what you and Jake were talking about.

'Oh… really? How?'

'You had obviously put the mic of your watch on, and my sweeping device was receiving the signal.'

'Oh, that,' Chuck exhaled slowly. 'The skin magazines. Oh, and then …ohh.'

Sarah took his hand in hers and looked up at him.

'Good, good … it wasn't much of a secret, right?' Chuck asked. 'Ours is really a complicated … thing if we are able to share our feelings with a boy rather than between us. And learn about it in some sneaky, spy-ish way.'

'Yeah,' she agreed. ' … wait, we? I was talking about myself only.'

'Ah, about that.' Chuck said, 'I have an admission of my own to make.'

'Oh.'

'Yeah,' Chuck started, swallowing hard, 'when you and Jake were talking in his room I could hear everything as the stupid phone handsets were in intercom mode and there was clearly a handset there near you.'

'Ohh, ….. ohhhhhhh,' she said, 'I see.'

'Well,' she said after a brief pause, 'another example of how we are a true spy couple, and not an ordinary one, right? Both when it is fake and real.'

'Yeah. … Do you prefer us to be that way, instead of a normal one?' Chuck asked.

'Maybe it's more fun that way, … I don't know, … you?'

'I'll be ok both ways, as long as I'm with you, Sarah.'

"Really?' She had an impish grim on her face. 'Even if I borrow this ingenious idea from Rose, the superglue?'

'Uhh,' Chuck gulped, 'come to think of it, there could be a few exceptions, … uh, starting with extra-strength … uh, adhesives.'

She giggled.

They were now in front of the stairs leading to Charlie's backyard deck.

'Well', Chuck said, wondering, 'we're going up there, … to sleep.'

'Yeah, … yeah,' Sarah said, 'I feel tired and tomorrow will be a very busy day.'

'Wow,' Chuck thought to himself, '_the quirk seems to be gone. Or at least a certain component._'

She was about to go up when Chuck stopped her.

'Sarah?'

'What, Chuck?'

'Is the quirk finally gone?'

'Quirk, … what quirk?' She asked casually and started climbing up the stairs.

'Oh, so it was an act, right?'

'Act, … what act? No, it wasn't.'

'OK, I don't get it then.'

'It's obvious, dummy. That's how I am with the man I truly love. It seems to be my first time.'

XXX

Casey had cursed several times. It was 9:30 am. He had been calling and calling Sarah's phone but she wouldn't answer it. Chuck wasn't picking up his cell either.

So, once he had checked on the two men detained down in the basement, he jumped into the Vic. 'Damn you, you two!' he cursed and started the engine.

Xxx

He was now picking the lock of Charlie's front door. Then he took out his gun and carefully opened the door.

What a mess! He stepped ahead and once he had approached the couch everything suddenly got cleared up.

Agent Walker was sleeping there, still in her blue dress. Next to her, lying on the coffee table was her mobile. Then there was this really ominous knife, sticking out of the phone. It had obviously pierced the entire phone and penetrated even the table beneath it.

'Another mystery solved,' Casey growled disapprovingly. Then he remembered Chuck's black eye. '_Agent Walker apparently needs to see a shrink, … on a regular basis.' _He thought to himself.

Then he saw Chuck on the other side of the table sleeping on the floor. He had obviously laid down the two thin mattresses from the loungers that Casey could now see there on the veranda.

While still looking at them he got really angry. 'When are you two finally gonna learn how to break the rules?' He scolded them very quietly.

He leaned in and slightly touched Sarah's shoulder, hoping to wake her up. Somewhat expecting that she may wrongly assume danger, he had his left hand ready to tackle an eventual punch from her right hand.

Wrong expectation. Whether it was god or just nature, somebody had created Sarah's legs not just to help her move from point A to point B. They were dangerous weapons as well.

Her right leg had sprung violently and managed to hit Casey's left cheek-bone before he could react. Casey staggered to his right dragging a lamp that fell down on the floor with a horrible thunder, together with him. Sarah had already jumped up with a gun in her hands pointing it at Casey.

Chuck had also jumped, violently woken up from the horrible noise.

'Aaaarh, keep away the super glue, keep away the super glue!' He screamed twice.

Only then was he able to look around and realize where he was.

'What!' Casey yelled.

'What?" Chuck asked back.

'What superglue, moron, what are you talking about?' Casey asked in disgust.

'You don't wanna know, John.' Sarah said smirking and offered him a hand. 'That's why he needs a shrink after all.'

'Good reflex, Walker,' Casey grunted approvingly. Then he gave both of them another disapproving glance and remembered what he wanted to tell Sarah.

'Bartowski, stay here!' he ordered. He took Sarah's arm and dragged her outside on the veranda, carefully closing the door. Then he took her further away from the door and started:

'Listen, you moron!'

'What, what's your problem, Casey?'

'I'm sick and tired to see you two that way!'

'What way? … What are you talking about?'

'Listen Walker, have you been with the CIA since yesterday? Fraternization rules have been created to be broken. If there is something between you and the computer numbnuts, I'll be happy to look the other way. How many more signals do I have to send you two?'

'_What, … what signals?'_ Sarah thought to herself.

'Oh,' she said instead. 'Don't worry, it's ok, a visit or two, to the shrink and we'll be ok, I think. Don't worry about that, Casey.'

'You sure?'

'Yeah, I'm sure. It's just that Chuck can be so annoying sometimes.' Sarah said, shaking her head.

'Yeah, yeah, I can see that.' Casey turned and headed back to the living room.

'Ah, John.' Sarah started.

'What?'

'Thank you partner, that was really, ... very considerate of you.'

'Hmm,' he grunted.

'I owe you one.'

'Yeah, Walker. You owe me a fraternization one, … don't forget that.'

'I won't.' Sarah smiled.

'_Fraternization, fraternization_,' her mind was playing with the concept but she couldn't figure out why. She was thinking. Oh, yeah, she got it now, with a really evil grin on her face.

'Casey, why did you come here?' Her question stopped him at the door to the living room.

'Because you two weren't picking up your phones, and I can see now why?' As far as your phone is concerned. And where is Chuck's? Super-glued to his brain?'

'Ah, ok. Why don't you stay for a coffee?' She asked ignoring his last comments.

'Why?' He growled again.

'Nothing, … just a coffee. So that we all can have some time to get ready and go back to your place.'

'Hmm, okay,' Casey agreed halfheartedly, 'after all I haven't had coffee this morning.'

Sarah went to the kitchen box and turned the coffeemaker on.

'Chuck,' she said, 'why don't you prepare some sandwiches for all of us, okay?'

'Okay.'

'I'll go wake up Jake.' '_And Rose_,' she thought.

First, Sarah went upstairs to see if Rose was awake. She knocked on the door.

'Come in.'

Sarah entered.

Rose was sitting on Charlie's bed in the lotus position, with her eyes closed, obviously meditating.

'Ah good.' Sarah said, 'I thought you might be still sleeping.'

'Oh, no, no problem.' Rose said. 'I haven't slept all night.'

'What? … Why?'

'I decided to meditate here. Cleanse myself.'

'Cleanse from what?'

'My dependence on Charlie.'

'Oh, … and how has that worked out so far?' Sarah asked casually.

'Nah, I'm not sure, … in fact I seriously doubt it. You, … you son-of a bitch,' she cursed, pointing at her head. 'I'll never be able to get rid of you!'

'Oh God,' Sarah said. '_Maybe I can help_.'

'Listen, Rose, my NSA partner is here, we'll have a cup of coffee, some breakfast and then go back with Jake to our … base. Talk to Charlie and his brother. I think you should come with us, so get up. I'll go now, wake up Jake.'

'OK.'

Sarah rushed down to see Jake. She knocked on his door. Silence. She carefully opened. Oh, he was still sleeping. She leaned over him and slightly shook him.

'Jake, Jake, wake up.' Sarah whispered.

'Sorry Mia, I'm leaving you!' Jake had yelled, while jumping up.

'What?' Sarah asked.

'What?' Jake asked.

'Oh,' Sarah said, 'you were dreaming about Mia?'

'Yeah,' he said. 'But it was a nice dream. I was breaking up with her. You know why, right?' He grinned at her.

'Yeah, I can imagine,' Sarah smiled at him. 'We are waiting for you in the kitchen. Please hurry up,' she walked out and rushed to see what Chuck and Casey were doing.

They were sitting at the table eating some sandwiches with the coffee.

'Well,' Chuck asked, 'what now?'

'Now we wait for Jake and Rose to get up and join us.' Sarah replied casually.

'Rose? Who is Rose?' Casey asked furrowing.

'Ah, an FBI agent who was working on Charlie Harper and his … liaisons. We bumped into her last night.'

'Yeah,' Chuck chimed in, 'and a …'

'Chuck!' Sarah yelled interrupting him. 'May I have a private word with you, … please!'

'What?'

'You heard me. On the deck, now. Sorry, John, one of our minor issues. Our fake relationship is a really bumpy one sometimes.'

'OK, take your time.' Casey replied chewing something. 'Mmmm, this coffee is so good, that even if you two devour each other there, I wouldn't notice.' He mumbled.

Sarah followed Chuck there and closed the door.

'Chuck, you have a really big mouth, don't you?' Sarah started angrily.

'What do you mean?'

'Don't talk about Rose being a stalker before Casey, ok?'

'OK, but why?'

'I think they both may … ah … like each other, you know, maybe,' she raised her hands moving them in circles, '… hit it off.'

'What? Are you crazy, … Casey, … the cold, cold, icy warrior and this cuckoo chick?'

'Just keep you mouth shut and leave it to me? Ok? And Rose's past is not exactly your business, don't you think?'

'Yeah, … I guess so.'

'Give those two a chance. If it works, it works, if it doesn't, then fine.'

'Just keep your big mouth shut.' Sarah went on. 'Sometimes you can be such a blabbermouth.'

'Thanks, that was very kind.'

'More like honest. We are a mature couple now, remember?'

'But somebody has to warn Casey about the superglue, Sarah! It wouldn't be fair!'

'Nonsense! A full blown NSA major should be fully capable of protecting his …. uh chestnuts, don't you think? Give Rose a break, OK?'

Chuck sighed, "OK!"

'Idiot!' She went on scolding. 'It may both help Rose get rid of her obsession and get Casey involved into fraternization. Thus, he won't be such a pain for us!'

Chuck was thinking. 'Wow, that's two birds with one stone. Great thinking agent Mischevious!'

It was actually four birds with a stone but Sarah didn't bother to elaborate.

She turned around to enter the living room and from there back to Casey in the kitchen. Once inside, she heard Rose's voice.

'Enchante. My name is Rose. And you are?'

'Hmm, Casey, John Casey, NSA. Nice to meet you, too." The major said and went on with the coffee.

'Oh great!' Sarah thought. She and Chuck joined them and so did Jake a bit later.

20 minutes later they got in the cars and drove away from Charlie's house.

Sarah had asked Chuck and Jake to get into Casey's car so she could talk to Rose privately. Remember their times together at high school, she explained.

Chuck agreed halfheartedly, but Jake wouldn't. He approached Sarah and whispered in her ear. 'Hey, this is our last time together, remember? I'm with you in the car.'

'OK, Jake, I guess you're right.'

While driving back to Casey's Sarah started first.

'Well, what do you think of him, Rose?'

'Think of who?' Rose had chosen to play dumb.

'You know very well who. The major.'

'Oh, he's fine, … I guess.' Rose allowed.

"You guess?'

'Ok, ok, ' she went on halfheartedly, 'his jaws mush have been chiseled out by Michelangelo himself, but that's all.'

"_Good_.' Sarah thought to herself with another evil grin on her face. '_Michelangelo is good!'_

xxx


	9. Chapter 9

A/N : Back with the Quirk story after some break.

It's time to see what all these spies are after. I would never seriously write about Fulcrum, the Ring, or whatever politically correct junk. There are real life adversaries that Hollywood usually avoids as they have to sell their product everywhere. So they trump up all these internal conspiracies, like Fulcrum.

The spy story here is an extension of a real life one. An unresolved case by the way. Some real names are only slightly changed. Let's see if Sarah and Chuck will be able to deal with the consequences of a major spy case the government seemed to have failed a decade ago.

Thanks to all readers for the continuing interest.

*** Special thanks to **NickyR** for the advice and editing... I still make changes after her editing, so the bad stuff is certainly mine.***

**Chapter IX**

**It's The Whole Package **

Finally, Sarah, Chuck and the rest had arrived at Casey's.

'Should Jake and I come in?' Rose asked.

Sarah glanced at Casey.

'Yeah, no problem,' Casey answered. 'I talked to Beckman, she's been cleared to take part in this op. After all she knows the subjects so well.'

They all went into Casey's apartment.

'Jake, why don't you go to the kitchen, we have something to discuss here.' Sarah suggested.

'Okay, but what am I gonna do there?' He pouted.

Casey took an old auto magazine from the table, 'Here. That's fun. Especially the Vics.'

'Are you kidding me?' Jake protested. "Don't you have any skin mags?'

'What?' Casey asked.

'Whatev.' Jake waved his hand. He pulled out his mobile and started pressing buttons there.'You can take me to the kitchen.'

Casey took him there and once he got back, Sarah turned the communication system on. Beckman and Graham soon appeared on the monitor.

'Hello agent Kennedy-Harper,' Beckman started.

'Not anymore,' Rose interrupted her. 'Just Kennedy. My name is Rosemary Kennedy. But you all can call me Rose. Even my bosses at the FBI got used to it.'

Everybody stared at her.

'What?' she raised her voice. 'I'm Irish, it's a common name.'

_'Good,'_ Sarah thought narrowing eyes, '_no more Harper, … maybe it's worked.'_

'Well, team, this is very serious.' Graham interjected. 'First, we've been monitoring Mi Wong and trying to establish what her mission could possibly be there in LA.'

'One of our teams is still debriefing Mei Lin but it usually takes months.' Beckman went on.

'Can't they ask her about Mi Wong?' Chuck asked.

'Thank you Mr. Bartowski,' Beckman interjected, 'we kind of reached the same conclusion some time ago and did that.'

'_Uuuh tensions,"_ Rose thought. 'She couldn't believe Sarah's team worked directly under bosses of such a high level. She glanced at Casey. '_Hmm, how important are all these people?'_

'Mei Lin doesn't know much about Wong.' Beckman said. 'They were together during some of their training, same class but then worked for different departments. Compartmentalization is much stricter when it comes to communist intelligence services. She has no idea what Mi Wong's mission could be.'

'The only intel she could provide was personal.' Graham added. 'Mi Wong is very effective and absolutely unscrupulous. An ideological fanatic, she seems to have some propensity for torture, judging from what Mei Lin told us about how she treated animals.'

'Oh, ... nice,' Chuck had blurted out.

'What was that, Mr. Bartowski?' Beckman had raised her brows.

'Ah, … nothing, … sorry, general.'

'In about an hour a team of lawyers from the Department of Justice will arrive there and require from the two detained men to sign our non-disclosure forms and brief them on the consequences of violating those.' Graham said.

'Since you'll be dealing with the Mi Wong case, prepare for the interrogation of these two … individuals. Any questions?' Beckman asked in the end.

'No general.'

The connection was off.

'How many women you said this Charlie slept with?' Casey asked.

'Ahhh, I flashed about hundreds,' Chuck answered, smirking, 'but he claims it's over three thousand. Some other liaisons with agents are still under investigation.'

"Hmm,' Casey growled. 'It seems like Uncle Charlie's dipstick is as important to US national security as the Intersect.' He quipped.

'That's what I said last night.' Chuck replied snickering.

'Actually, as I pointed out,' Rose chimed in, 'there are 27 spies I found out about. And my bosses told me to let you know something else. The six East European spies are actually Russian spies, working under 'false flag' cover. Which means it is very sensitive. Historically, the Russians try to hide behinds others only when it is extremely important.'

Rose took out a palm device and added, 'let's transfer all the data on these 27 to some of your computers here and print it out.'

Chuck got up to help her with the files.

'I'm going down to the basement to see if the detained have woken up. Will you stay here during the interrogation?' Casey asked Rose.

'No, major,' she smiled at him. 'I'd rather not. I'll be with Jake.'

'But Jake will later join them and tell that you were involved.' Sarah pointed out. 'They'll find out anyway.'

'Don't worry,' Rose said, 'I know how to talk him into being discrete,' she said and then turned to Casey. "After all, I have a master's degree in psychology, from Stanford.'

She headed to the kitchen.

Casey went down to the basement and 5 minutes later came back with Alan.

He had obviously just woken up and was trembling.

'Officers,' he said with a shaky voice, 'am I going to Gitmo? I don't wanna go there!' he started weeping. 'I'm gonna die at Gitmo!.'

'Hmm,' Casey growled, 'it depends, mister...'

'Harper, Alan Harper,' Alan burst in response. 'Officer, I'm just an innocent …uh chiropractor.'

'No,' Casey glared at him, 'no need to send you to Gitmo … yet. But I can see how you'd be quite popular there.'

'Oh, my God!' Alan burst into more weeping. "Charlie, ... I'm gonna kill you!' He screamed.

'Listen Alan,' Sarah said softly, 'just calm down. The government needs two things from you. First, you should sign a non-disclosure form later today, and really forget about everything you saw yesterday. Got it?'

'Yeah, yeah and second?'Alan was nodding at her.

'Tell us everything about these women, Alan. The spies. All twenty-seven.'

'Twenty-seven?' Alan raised his voice. 'I thought there were seven. Ah you son of a …'

'Yeah,' Sarah went on nodding. 'Twenty-seven that we know of. Just think of anything suspicious.'

Alan shook his head. 'I have no idea, … there were just women and women, plenty of them. I have no idea who is spy and who is not.'

'Ok,' Sarah sighed, 'go out and wait for us outside. Try to remember anything that may give us a clue. And don't talk to anybody. We'll talk again later.'

After Alan went out, Casey brought up Charlie Harper, who was looking worse than ever.

'Hi again.' Sarah greeted him.

'Hello,' Charlie replied. 'I guess you and me, … never gonna happen, right?'

'I'm afraid not. I'm obviously out of your league.' she teased. 'But you better answer our questions.' Now Sarah stared at him in a really menacing way.

'Being in close contact with 27 foreign spies, most of them from hostile countries, you have no idea what the Patriot act can do to you.' Casey growled at him. 'Until the FBI clears everything up.'

'Oh, … the patriot act, and … who exactly are you, if I may ask.' Charlie looked at him with a sour smile.

'Your worst nightmare,' Casey snapped at him.

'Listen Charlie,' Sarah cut them off. 'This is serious, it's espionage, national security, good lawyers will not be enough to get you out of this. By the time the FBI interrogates you about all 27 you'll have become a fixture there in the FBI headquarters.'

'OK, OK, what do you want from me?' Charlie sounded really irritated.

'Cooperate. Did you ever have any US government secrets in your possession?'

'No, no, ... of course not, I just write jingles, you know that. And sleep with a lot of women. That's all. Ohh God!'

'What?' Sarah asked. 'You just realized what an empty suit you are?'

'No, no, I just remembered about the Asian broad.'

'What about her?'

'I don't remember being in bed with her. I met her in a bar, invited her to my house. We came back home, talked, laughed, drank something on the deck …'

'And?' Chuck asked.

'And …, and, I don't remember.' Charlie raised his shoulders. 'I remember waking up in the morning, she was there up and already dressed. Ready to leave.'

'But you don't remember anything from the night, right?' Sarah inquired.

Charlie was thinking. He shook his head.

'No, … no, I actually don't. Nothing. It's just that in the morning she told me that I was great, she never had had such a passionate lover. Jeeze, what if it was another dude. Like in Bankok. Oh God, I'm finished!' he whined.

'Go on, moron,' Casey snarled. 'We don't care about your sexual idiocies. Tell us everything about the Asian.

'That's … that's what was bugging me.' Charlie continued, 'I wondered why I wouldn't remember anything of such a 'passionate' night.'

' And, … and soon after that she left. She told me that she'll call me.' Charlie ended his story.

'Did she?'

'No, … never. Yeah, … that's what bugged me too.'

'Why?' Chuck asked.

'Because most girls usually call me back. They usually expect real relationship, not just a one night stand.'

'Hmm, … what if this … uh, dude,' Chuck pointed at Charlie, 'has slept with somebody with access to government secrets?' Chuck suggested. 'Or with the wife of somebody? So Mi Wong was after him or her. Trying to get something dirty so she can blackmail later. Installing cameras and mics in his bedroom.'

'Yeah, yeah, … that makes sense,' Sarah said. 'Good thinking Chuck,' she smiled at him.

'Have you been sleeping with married women?' Casey asked Charlie.

'Uh, … once in a while, … maybe half of them.' Charlie admitted.

'Damn,' Sarah cursed. 'We'll have to check all his liaisons and see if there are women with access to secrets or if their husbands have such access. Maybe the spies were after someone who happened to have slept with him.'

'Ts, ts, ts,' Casey was glowering at Charlie. 'You sexual psychopath, you turned out to be a national security disaster.'

'Wait,' Chuck exclaimed.

'What?' Sarah and Casey asked.

Chuck raised his left finger, approached Sarah and whispered something in her ear.

'Yeah,' she nodded. Sarah was thinking.

'What, … Walker, … what is it?' Casey asked.

'Charlie, please go and join Alan there. But no talking. Casey, could you go out with them, make sure they don't exchange information?' Sarah winked at him. 'I'll explain later.'

After Casey and Charlie went out in the yard, Sarah rushed to the kitchen and brought Rose back.

'Rose, you've been there with Charlie, … monitoring him, right?

'Right.'

"Since when?'

'Uuh, ... summer of 2001.'

'And do you have the identities, voices, maybe pictures of all of Charlie's lovers, apart from the spies?' Chuck added.

'Of course. All of them, … I guess.' Rose knitted her brows. 'Why?'

'See,' Chuck exclaimed. 'I told you. The st…, she would have them.'

'Of course I have.' Rose frowned at him. 'The FBI investigated all of them. None of them happened to have access to any important secret, whether in the military or in any of the hi-tech companies, developing top secret weapons systems or something. None. Some of them are low level secretaries here and there, but that's all.'

'And what about their spouses?' Chuck went on.

'Nope, … nothing.' Rose replied. 'The FBI checked all that. Nobody with access to anything that would explain such interest. That's why my bosses didn't do anything. Just monitoring. We still don't know why such tremendous interest from so many intelligence agencies. It's a mystery. But nobody believes it's a coincidence.'

'Oh,' Chuck exclaimed in disappointment. 'Bad.'

'No, Chuck, you did great,' Sarah said. 'You guessed right about Rose having collected all the info and the answer still may be there.'

'Thank you Rose,' Sarah said, 'we'll get Charlie back here, so go back to the kitchen with Jake.'

Rose soon disappeared and Sarah called Casey and Charlie. Before Casey came back in, Sarah stopped him outside the apartment and briefed him on Rose's information.

Charlie was already in, staring at Chuck.

'Well,' he said, 'so you're a spy, huh? Who could have thought? What do you think will happen to me now?'

'_Wow!_' Chuck thought to himself. '_Now I have to handle this dude.'_

'Uh, … just keep you mouth shut about everything you saw yesterday and everything will be ok, … got it?'

'Yeah, yeah, the information from your head, right?' Charlie shook his head in disbelief.

'That's exactly what you need to forget about.' Chuck enunciated. 'Don't even mention it and you'll be OK.'

'What about the chick?' Charlie asked.

'What chick? Oh, ... you mean Sarah … agent Walker, right? What about her?' Chuck furrowed.

'Mmm, she is absolutely gorgeous. Does she have a boyfriend or something?'

Chuck swallowed hard. 'Uh, actually, she does. It's … uh it's me. I am her boyfriend.'

'Oh, … really?' Charlie asked obviously outraged. He was staring at Chuck as if trying to test his will.

'Yeah, really.' Chuck stared back at him. 'You have a problem with that, huh?'

'No, no, ... nothing, I was just asking.'

'Good,' Chuck said narrowing his eyes at Charlie. 'Then everything will be OK.' He enunciated.

Sarah and Casey were back now.

Sarah went to the laser printer and took the rest of the files with Charlie's spy lovers that Chuck had printed out. She was going through them now.

_'There was a French spy among them_, she thought. '_Why French? Most were from countries that were either unfriendly or outright enemies, such as North Korea, Iran and Syria. A Chinese, several Russian spies, … hmm, and why so many Russians? And why under a false flag cover. An Indian, one from Brasil, Venezuella, Cuba.'_

Only one from a US ally, ... the French. Somehow Sarah felt that the really odd one may give them a clue.

She handed the French file to Charlie.

'Remember her?' She asked him softly.

Charlie looked at her and chuckled. 'Ahh, ... Gabrielle. Poor girl. Why don't you ask Alan? He 'slept' with her as well.'

'What, what's wrong with her?' Casey inquired.

'She's a weirdo.' Charlie smirked. 'Totally frigid. Actually neither I nor Alan slept with her, … obviously.'

'_Hmm,_' Sarah thought, '_so the spies clearly weren't after Charlie and his mojo, at least that's for sure.'_

'And how did she get to Alan?' Sarah asked.

'I don't know. After she left I never called her again. She called several times but I didn't answer or return her calls.'

'And? … Go on.'

'Then, … then she obviously dropped by my house and bumped into Alan. And they … they hit it off. And, … she spent the night with Alan.'

'I got it.' Chuck yelled.

'Yeah,' Sarah had exclaimed at the same time.

'She must have been after something in the house. First looking for it in Charlie's room. And then Alan's.' Sarah said.

'Yeah, ... that's what I was thinking,' Chuck smiled at her.

'And she had pretended to be frigid so those clowns don't bother her anymore after her job was done.' Casey added.

'Hey, hey!' Charlie protested.

'So it's the house,' Chuck said. 'It's something in the house. We gotta go there and find it before somebody else does. If so many countries are after it, it must be huge.'

'Wait,' Casey said. 'He pulled out his mobile and dialed a number.'

'Anything?' He asked. 'OK, be extremely vigilant. If anybody enters detain or shoot. Nobody should get out of there. Some very important government secret must be in there. Let me now if anything suspicious happens. … Over.'

'I had dispatched an NSA team there while we were driving back here.' He explained. 'They are monitoring the house from every possible angle.'

'Good thinking, Casey. So we have some time to think. Figure this out.' Sarah pointed out. 'What we'll be looking for.'

They were all thinking.

Sarah was going through the files of the spies again. _Six Russian spies. Why so many Russians? _She checked the times of their liaisons with Charlie.

_The first was in the distant 2002, January, and then the rest were spread along the years up to 2007. So all these spies were looking for something and failing to find it. Or somebody else had found it and the rest 26 were on a wild goose chase. Or it was never there but somewhere else. Something very important, something so many intelligence services knew about and were feverishly looking for!_

She checked the times again. Most of the spies had looked for it in 2002 and only the Russians along those years. The French and Mi Wong were the only ones recently. Another mystery.

Sarah was thinking.

_Obviously, the French and the Chinese had learned somehow about it much later. Clearly, they had penetrated some of the other intelligence agencies and learned from them, hence the delay.'_

'Charlie,' Sarah started, 'when did you move into this house? Is it yours by the way?'

'Yeah, I bought it in the fall of 2001.'

'Who lived there before that? And who was your realtor?' Casey asked.

'My mother is my real estate agent. Nobody lived there. The owner had died of heart attack two years before that and nobody wanted it for some time. I didn't know about the previous owner. Only later mother slipped up about him, … by mistake.'

'Do you know anything about the owner?'

'Yeah, yeah, ... I think he owned large shares in several food chains and a Vegas casino. That's what I heard from a neighbor at the time.'

_Damn._ Sarah shook her head. _Another dead end. They would check of course the owner, but it looked like a dead end.'_

'Well,' Casey said frowning. 'Maybe it's time to go there and start searching.'

'Wait!' Chuck said.

'What is it Bartowski?' Casey growled at him.

'What if somebody else, … uh, living close there, used the empty house as a hiding place.' Chuck said.

'Maybe the key is somebody in the vicinity,' he went on, 'somebody who owned, or … or rented one of the houses in the neighborhood. He or she must have known that Charlie's house was empty at the time and hidden something there. Fearing somebody will find it in his house. Yeah, yeah, and there was no way he could have known that somebody, Charlie in this case, would buy the house so soon.'

'Good thinking, Chuck.' A very excited Sarah said, 'We need to check on everybody there in the area.'

Casey rushed to one of his computers and started typing.

Three minutes later Casey stood up and said, 'Chuck, come here and look at these names and faces. These are all the owners and renters of property in the area between 1998 and 2002, starting with the closest to Charlie Harper's house. See if you recognize anyone on the list.'

Chuck sat in front of the computer and started browsing the files with the names and faces.

Soon his eyes went rolling back. He was sitting but still staggering left and right.

'_Derek Hamilton, aka Hornst Fischer, ex-Stasi, specialized in acquiring military technology; has set up a joint operation with Alex Borovin, the Russian mathematician who tried to steal all stealth fighter secrets from Skunk Works, Lockheed Martin's advanced projects facility in 1997.' _he blurted out._  
_

'Oh, my God!' Sarah exclaimed. 'Alex Borovin!'

'What Walker,' Casey started. 'You know him?'

'No, … no, but the case was part of my counterintelligence course back in the Farm. Borovin and an American set up a software company, called _Elegant Solutions_. He was trying to hack and steal from Skunk Works everything he could. We knew about Borovin and were feeding him with disinformation. To further thwart their efforts in the stealth business.'

'Yeah, Casey said, 'Skunk Works is here, across the mountain, in Palmdale. So it makes sense for Fischer's base of operations to be here.'

Sarah shook her head. 'I can't believe this. We were told nothing about this ex-Stasi guy then.' She was thinking. 'Most probably Borovin knew about the crap we were selling him and gave his Stasi buddy all the information about the Skunk Works personnel he dealt with so Fischer was able to monitor and get something to blackmail them. After three years it seems like he had succeeded.'

She was still shaking her head. '_Why weren't we told about Fischer and why does the Intersect have now this info? Seems like the NSA knew and didn't share with us.'_

'Casey, look for this guy in all our databases.'

Casey was already typing wildly and then tapping his fingers nervously on the table.

_'For God's sake, the secrets of the F-22 could be at stake here. _He thought to himself sweating. '_American air superiority.'_

'Bingo!' he exclaimed. 'The body of a Derek Hamilton was found on a Miami beach in 2002. Wounds, lacerations and burns all over his body. The Miami police decided it was some drug case as that's how the drug gangs there were setting their scores.'

'So clearly Fischer double-crossed Borovin and the Russians and set up an auction there, looking for the highest bidder. It makes sense now,' Sarah said, 'I mean the countries that sent all these spies. All are trying to build a fifth generation stealth fighter.'

'Charlie, take a look at the German guy, do you remember him?' Sarah asked.

Charlie stood up and approached the computer. He narrowed his eyes while looking at the screen.

'Ugh, this guy looks worse than me.' he said disgusted.

'That's because he is dead, moron.' Casey snarled at him. 'Whereas you look only two weeks away.' Casey stroke some keys to get back Fischer's previous photo. 'Recognize him here?"

Charlie tried to focus on the new picture. 'Yeah, … yeah,' that's the guy who came by a couple of times soon after I bought the house.'

'_Yeah, Fischer probably had some special reason to come by, apart from the socializing,'_ Sarah thought.

'Maybe one of the 27 spies had found it.' Chuck suggested.

'No, … most probably not,' Sarah said, 'most of them are from 2002. 'If they had found it, we would have heard about their progress in building stealth planes by now.'

'If somebody did, it must have been only recently,' she went on.' And a lot of people in our government will be very, very unhappy.'

Casey took Charlie out, and once back, he turned the communication system on and waited for Beckman and Graham to appear.

'Major Casey, any news?' Beckman was alone there.

'General, I think we figured out why such interest to the subject, actually the subject's house.' Casey briefed his boss on their findings.

'Oh my God,' Beckman exclaimed. 'The Chiefs will have a coronary if all those secrets end up in the wrong hands. And so will I.' She shook her head.

Beckman was thinking.

'Excellent work, team. We'll take it from here.'

'What do you mean ma'am?' Casey asked furrowing. 'I think we can finish this job.'

'No, Major Casey, I'll send teams of experts there to find if there is anything in this house or the adjacent ones. If they have to, they will disassemble them to their elements, piece by piece. We simply can't take any chances here. Not with this.'

'General,' Chuck almost yelled.

'What, what is it Bartowski?'

'If you do it so openly our adversaries will notice, ... uh if they are monitoring.' Chuck started.

'And if we go in there, just pretending to be friends of those two men and find any stealth secrets stashed somewhere, then we can replace the real data with faulty one and hopefully feed our adversaries with defective technologies, further derailing their efforts.' Sarah added.

'I'm aware of this opportunity, agent Walker. But we can't risk losing all this data. It'll be just too catastrophic.' Beckman looked at her sternly.

'General,' Casey started, 'there is already an NSA team there monitoring. We can order a F-22 squadron to seal the air space off and the coast guard to do the same on their side.'

'I know all that major. But we don't play spy games with real data of such importance. It's against the rules. We are talking about our air superiority in the next several decades, do you realize that?'

'I know general. It's just that this information has been there, potentially for about 6 or more years, we just need several more hours. If we find it and then replace, there will be an excellent opportunity to deceive our enemies.' Casey went on.

Beckman was still unconvinced.

'I can't make such a decision alone, Major Casey. These secrets belong to the Pentagon. I'll talk to the Chiefs. If they agree, then you may try.' Beckman looked at her watch. 'I'll let you know about our decision in an hour.'

She pressed a button and the screen went blank.

All three, Chuck Sarah and Casey exhaled deeply.

'Well, ' Chuck started. 'We have one hour. I think I'll go and see if Ellie and Devon are home. Eat something and take a shower.'

'Yeah, Chuck you do that.' Sarah nodded at him. 'I'll talk to Rose and Jake. Casey, why don't you go instruct the Harpers about what follows next. If we are lucky to be allowed to finish this op, we'll need them. Just be nice with them. The DOJ people should be arriving here any minute.'

Casey nodded. He and Chuck went out.

Sarah quickly briefed Rose on what was ahead of them and then excused herself. She looked out of the window of Casey's living room. Casey and the Harpers weren't outside in the yard. Most probably they had joined the DOJ people in their car in the parking lot. Signing the non-disclosure papers.

Sarah went out and casually headed toward casa Bartowski. Once at the front door she looked around. Nobody. She entered the casa. No signs of Devon or Ellie.

Then she checked Chuck's room. Nobody. Most probably Chuck was in the bathroom, taking a shower. Yeah, she remembered now. She desperately needed one as well.

She quickly took off her shirt and jeans and headed to the bathroom. Once in, Sarah could hear the water and Chuck humming something. But now the humming has stopped.

'Who is it? Ellie, Devon?' Chuck yelled to overpower the noise from the water.

'Guess again,' Sarah yelled back so he could hear her.

'Oh, … the agent, of course. I guess you needed a shower too, huh? Sarah?

'You guessed right, agent Carmichael,' Sarah replied, 'after jumping in under the water in front of him.'

'And by the way,' she went on, 'you did great today, Chuck.'

'Oh, you mean the Intersect, the flash.' Chuck said. 'The Stasi agent.'

No, silly, not the Intersect. The normal Chuck. He figured out the crucial clues. Like the idea to look for people in the vicinity, not just Charlie's house. That was brilliant. Or that Rose should have records on all lovers, being the stalker.'

'It seems like you are quite ready for this job, Chuck.' Sarah went on.

'Yeah, yeah,' Chuck agreed, 'but still, it's the Intersect that did the crucial work.'

'No, no,' Sarah was adamant. 'It's not just the Intersect. _It's the whole package … that is working so well now. You're doing great, … agent …'_

xxx

***

Oh, yeah, did I forget to mention this? Both Sarah and Chuck were breathing very, very heavily while having this conversation.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Well, since a reader wondered about the real life players in this spy affair, there in the review section, here are some of the real life facts. The Russian mathematician who tried to infiltrate _Skunk Works_ (Lockheed Martin's advanced projects facility) is Aleksey Yeremin and the company that he founded here with an American hi-tech entrepreneur was called _Elegant Mathematics._ The FBI and the Air Force office of special investigations carried out a 3-year investigation between 1997 and 2000 and were essentially unable to ascertain whether something was stolen.

Let's see if Chuck&Co. will be able to find the stolen data.

Again, special thanks to all readers for the interest and to NickyR for her editing and advice. She is to this story what vanilla is to the Amish Vanilla Pie. Or any other vanilla pie for that matter.

**Chapter X**

**What Is This? A Stupid TV Show?**

Fifty minutes later everybody except for the Harpers was back at Casey's. Alan and Charlie were still outside, waiting.

General Beckman popped up on the main monitor, clearly worried.

'It's a go team.' She started sourly. 'The Joint Chiefs are really concerned about potentially losing all these secrets to our adversaries. But they are also very excited, as I am, if we can find it and then replace with deceptive and faulty technology.' She sighed. 'You can try to find whatever is hidden there. But stay inconspicuous. Don't blow your cover, or otherwise we won't be able to go with the deception op afterwards.'

'You have until tomorrow morning.' Beckman went on. 'The whole area is sealed off already. We can't fail this one, team. And it seems we failed 10 years ago. Any questions?'

'No, General, we'll stay in touch ...' Casey answered but the screen went blank before he was able to finish.

Sarah went to the front door, opened it and called for Charlie and Alan to come in.

'Alan, … Charlie,' Sarah started once they were in. 'Don't freak out. We contacted an old friend of yours, … uh to take care of Jake, while you were in custody.'

'Oh, really, … um, who, who could that be?' Alan asked anxiously.

'Rose.' Sarah went on. 'Remember her? Well, uh, we needed her to take care and comfort your boy after this whole ordeal. After all she is a psychologist.'

'_Yeah, yeah_.' Charlie thought to himself. '_A psychologist who needs a team of psychiatrists, … at least. And a strait jacket, at best.'_

But he didn't say anything. All he wanted was this story to be over so that he could get on with this life.

'Well,' Sarah went on, 'Here is what you should know. We'll be looking for some top secret information hidden in the house. This is Major John Casey,' she pointed at him. 'He'll be sweeping the house for bugs, meaning both video cameras and microphones, and whatever other electronic devices could be planted in there and we will all be searching for it.'

'Planted?' Charlie asked raising his eyebrows.

'It's intelligence jargon, you idiot,' Alan said, 'I'm sorry, I couldn't help it,' he smiled at Sarah, ' … I'm a bit of an intelligence buff myself …' he went on snorting.'And obviously a fan of yours.'

'So, what are we supposed to do, … uh officer?' Alan asked then.

'Our cover will be like, um … having a party.' Sarah suggested. 'Food, … drinks, music, dancing, whatever,' she said.

'Oh, and are we supposed to invite some girls, then?' Charlie asked.

'Noo,' Sarah glowered at him. 'It's top secret, remember? This time it'll be Rose and me only. And no, you're not getting lucky tonight. Just behave naturally.' She gave him a really menacing look.

'Here is the ultimate contradiction in terms, ... uh, ... for the Malibu womanizer of the century,' Alan quipped. 'I mean centuries, … both centuries.' He snorted again.

'Here is your last chance to leave my house unharmed' Charlie said, raising his right hand in a fist as if preparing to punch Alan.

'Ahhh, … aaah' both screamed.' Casey was behind them squeezing their necks really hard.

'Shut up, you aging Pinocchios!' Casey viciously barked in their ears.

'Either you get in line and start behaving like grown-ups or I put you back in the basement until this operation is over. And who knows, it may last days, … weeks.'

'Okay, … okay,' both Alan and Charlie shouted desperately.

'Good, and now let's get down to business,' Casey growled again and went to the kitchen to bring Rose and Jake back.

'No chit chat now.' He said glaring at the Harpers when he was back. 'You two will be in my car. Walker, … take the rest in Charlie's car. See you there.'

Xxx

Two hours later they were all in front of Charlie's house. Sarah handed to Charlie his keys and he unlocked the front door.

He opened it and turned back smiling at everybody. "Welcome to my house, everybody. Let's party. Feel yourselves …'

'Hmm, …' Casey interrupted him and entered first. After making three steps inside, he saw a baseball bat flying right against his jaw.

The trained agent in him reacted instantly moving down to the right to avoid the blow. He did.

Charlie Harper, who was still behind him, wasn't so lucky. The wider and heavier end of the bat hit him right in the jaw. He went down, unconscious.

Casey had reached for his gun as he was kneeling on the floor but now he could see that there was only a 50-year old, huge woman several feet away from him. She had red hair and really angry look on her face.

'Who are you!' both she and Casey yelled at the same time.

'Berta? Where have you been?' Alan had just popped up at the front door.

'Oops,' she fretted, 'Did I hurt him? Oh, I thought it was thieves. Is Charlie OK?'

Alan checked his pulse. 'He'll live, … nothing out of ordinary for him. He took a lot of blows recently. One more, one less, nobody counts anymore.'

'Let's take him to his room,' Alan suggested, assuming Casey will help him drag Charlie upstairs.

But Casey just grunted, picked Charlie up and took him upstairs, carrying him on his shoulder.

'Wow,' Rose exclaimed as she had just entered the house. '_What a man_!'

'So,' Berta started, 'what's going on, Zippy? Who are these people? I think I've seen this con-face somewhere.' She pointed at Casey, who was going upstairs.

'Con face?' Alan raised his voice in surprise.

'Yeah, the hunk. I think I've seen him somewhere. The big house, … police, … my bed, … not sure.' Berta shook her head.

'And who are these, zippy?' Berta went on, cocking her head at Sarah and Chuck.

'Friends, … uh we are about to have a party,' Alan went on. 'This is Sarah, … um she and Rose went to high school together and this is her boyfriend, … Chuck. He is uh …,'

'A computer guy.' Chuck added. 'I fix computers.'

'Uh-huh, I see,' Berta said, 'How's it hanging, nerdy boy?'

'Fine, ... thanks. Nice to see you, uh, swinging the bat so … masterfully.' Chuck replied, giving her a fake smile.

'Hmm,' she looked at him sternly, 'please don't make too much mess here,' she answered and turned around to go back to the kitchen.

Sarah gave Alan a really tough glance, then pointing at the front door, suggesting that he somehow have Berta go home.

'Berta, … uh you did a great job, … umm I mean putting this place back in order, … in no time,' Alan started hesitantly. 'Quite an achievement, actually. I-I think, …. uh, you may go home now.'

'Are you trying to get rid of me, zippy?' Berta glowered at him and offered her open hand.

'_Yeah_,' Alan quickly got it. _Berta was used to extorting money from Charlie all the time this way. He wondered how she got to have such a power over his brother. He never dared even to consider replacing her with somebody else._

He sighed and pulled his wallet out. He opened it and took a five. 'Here,' he handed it to Berta.

Berta took it and said, 'You gotta be kidding, Alan. I know you're cheap, but that cheap?'

Sarah had taken position behind Berta so she could make signs to Alan. She signaled to him to give her a fifty and pointed at herself suggesting she'll cover his expenses.

Alan looked at his wallet again and sighed. There were only three more 1-dollar notes. 'Crap!' He knelt down and pulled up his right trouser.

Everybody could see there was a thick wad there, inside his sock. He took it out, found a fifty and handed it to Berta.

'Ts, ts, ts, eh, zippy, zippy,' Berta shook her head, 'you never learn you little sponge.'

She took his money, turned around and headed to the kitchen for her bag. 'OK, I'm leaving, … have fun. But if you're gonna need me later, it'll cost you a hundred. And tell Charlie I'm sorry.'

Once Berta was finally gone Sarah sighed in relief. "Good. Alan, take out some food, drinks, it's a party, remember? Chuck, come with me upstairs to see if Casey's found something there.'

They rushed upstairs and entered Charlie's bedroom. Casey had laid the unconscious Charlie on his bed and was studying the room, looking for potential hiding places.

'Anything?' She asked.

'Nope, carry on here,' an irritated Casey suggested, 'I'm going downstairs, … you know, … to prepare some food.'

They still weren't sure whether the place was clear of bugs and talked in prepared coded phrases. Sarah's device from the previous day had limited sweeping capacity. Only the most commonly used bands. Their first job for the day was for Casey to sweep it in all bands, for all known microphone models.

Three hours later Casey had finished sweeping the entire house. Nothing. He couldn't believe it.

Sarah, Chuck and Rose had searched almost the entire house. The living room, kitchen, garage, the backyard deck, Charlie's room and the adjacent bathroom, Alan and Jake's bedrooms. Nothing.

'Well,' Sarah said, 'at least we know that we can talk openly now.'

'What are we looking for, by the way?' Rose asked.

'If it has been obtained anywhere between 1997 and 2000,' Chuck started, 'it must be either on compact disks or even hard disks. I mean if it had been really voluminous.'

'Yeah, … yeah,' Sarah was thinking. 'If I remember correctly, it was computer information. The FBI and the Air Force carried out an investigation and couldn't determine for sure whether something was stolen of hacked. A highly skilled hacker can always do it without leaving traces, especially if he was an insider.'

'So it is a hard disk or a whole bunch. Or compact disks.' Chuck concluded. 'Thank God it was 10 years ago. Now it would be a flash card as small as a finger nail that has the same memory capacity.'

So they started again. Sarah, Chuck, Casey, and Rose split into two teams and started searching again.

After several hours of tiresome and boring to death work, they all sat on the couch and in the armchairs, totally exhausted and desperate. They had focused on every square inch of Charlie's house with a magnifying glass, tapping on every wall and floor, inch by inch, hoping to hear a hollow sound. Nothing.

'Maybe there is nothing or maybe it is hidden too well and the house should be really pulled apart to pieces, as Beckman said,' Casey suggested.

'What,' both Alan and Charlie screamed. Alan had been sitting in front of the computer that was next to the door to the veranda. Charlie was in front of his piano, playing jingle after jingle.

'Shut up you two. The government will reimburse you or have it rebuilt here again.' Casey snapped at them.

'So, … what now?' Chuck asked.

'Nothing,' Sarah replied unenthusiastically, 'we rest a bit, eat something, and then go on. Until tomorrow morning if need be. If we don't find anything, our bosses will decide what to do next.'

She sighed with irritation. "_Dammit!_' _It was one of the hottest intelligence cases of the 90's. She had studied it at the CIA school, and now she had the golden opportunity to solve it. And after so many hours, … nothing. It was probably slipping right through their fingers.'_

Sarah looked around Charlie's living room, again, for the thousandth time today. She couldn't even imagine the possibility that tomorrow they may have to leave without finding anything.

Sarah glanced at Chuck who was sitting in an armchair across the coffee table. He had his eyes closed and seemed totally relaxed.

_Yeah_, Sarah thought, _maybe he was right. Have some rest so you can start anew, with fresh ideas, and most importantly, fresh eyes_.

She closed her eyes and then suddenly realized that they were hurting because of all the peering. She was just about to finally relax a bit when Alan asked:

'Uh, officer, where are we supposed to sleep, I mean if you continue to search in the bedrooms?'

'Damn,' Sarah opened her eyes. 'Why don't you go outside and lie on the loungers. And pray that we find it, okay?'

'What about Jake?' Alan went on.

'We'll give it another try now, first his room so he can finally go to bed,' Sarah replied.

Alan and Charlie went outside to lie on the loungers.

Sarah closed her eyes again and tried to rest. Good that at least Jake wasn't bugging her this time. He was playing something on his Ipod, or maybe listening to some hard rock beat.

Fifteen minutes later Sarah finally opened her eyes, glanced at her watch and jumped up. 'Chuck, get up.'

'Poor Chuck,' she thought as she had just noticed that he was actually sleeping.

'Uh, ah, what?' Chuck rose up.

'Get up, we need to finish this. It's 12:30, let's take another look at Jake's room so the boy can go to bed, OK?'

'Uh, … okay.' Chuck moaned and tried to get up. '_Oh, god,_' he thought. _Every limb was hurting. Knees, muscles, back, but most amazingly, he had fallen asleep so deeply, that his brain was still like tranquilized.'_

_He wondered how much time he would need to really wake up. _

'Sheesh, … I really need a large cup of coffee. Anybody, … hello?' He yelled at the rest who were struggling to stay awake.

Yeah, they all desperately needed some coffee.

Sarah joined him to help with the cups and everything. 'Are you OK, Chuck?'

'Oh, I don't know, Sarah. I was so angry and desperate before I fell asleep. I can't even imagine we are about to fail this one.'

'Yeah,' Sarah nodded. 'I don't even wanna think about tomorrow, … having to leave this house to the NSA team. And if they find something, can you imagine the shame?' She shook her head.

'Well, maybe there is nothing here, maybe this Fischer guy hid it elsewhere and we'll never find out.' Chuck suggested.

'Maybe,' Sarah said. But her gut feeling has never been wrong before, she thought. And it was telling her now, ' _you're missing something, silly. It's right before your eyes._'

The coffee was ready and they went back to join Casey and Rose.

'Well,' Casey started, "it's quarter to one. We still have plenty of time till tomorrow morning, if there is something here, we should find it.'

Once they started again, Sarah and Chuck first went to Jake's bedroom.

'Visit number five,' Chuck sighed. He rubbed his eyes and forehead, in a desperate attempt to get his brain wake up.

'You count?' Sarah smiled sadly.

'Yeah, what else to do, I mean, it's the same, time and time again.'

Chuck was standing on the right side of Jake's bed, in front of a night stand and looking around. Sarah had reached the other side and was examining the floor under the window.

Chuck turned right and once his back was facing the bed he decided to sit on it. He looked around again, the ceiling, the walls with all these teenager posters of busty models.

Then he just lay down on the bed. 'Oh_, God, what a relief to have my legs up for a sec_.' He thought. Maybe this new angle would give him some fresh ideas where to look.'

He was thinking and looking around.

Seconds later Sarah turned and noticed him lying there. 'Oh, you gave up already, soldier?' she smiled.

'No. Just looking for a fresh perspective. Maybe you should join me.' He smiled at her and tapped on the cover next to him.

'You serious? If Jake happens to come in, he'll get a coronary. Yeah, even at his age.' She smirked.

'Yeah,' Chuck agreed. 'Still, take a break for a second, have your legs up.'

'Why not,' Sarah thought; after all she badly needed some rest for her legs. Sarah lay down, next to Chuck, and sighed. Then she remembered the tango night. It was the last time they were in bed together. And his silly instruction papers leading to the basement. She chuckled. But then remembered. _Under the bed_. Oh my god!

Sarah rose up quickly and turned to Chuck. He was already up, in a sitting position, smirking at her. 'Ah, you remembered, … under the bed, right?'

'Right,' she replied.

'That's why I suggested you lie there, .. see if you would remember, he-he.' He smiled at her.

'Let's see, ... this may be our last chance,' he said, taking out his flashlight.

Of course, they had checked under the beds in all three rooms before, tapping on it in hope to hear an atypical, somehow odd sound.

Now both Sarah and Chuck were under the bed with their flashlights on. They were carefully studying the floor boards.

Sarah had a powerful magnifying glass and was looking for a trap door, or whatever cracks out of ordinary. Chuck was trying to ascertain whether any of the boards looked newer than the rest or of different shade of dark brown. With his eyes so tired and under the bed, and with the lighting of his torch only, it was impossible to say.

'Damn,' Chuck cursed to himself.

Sarah looked at him. 'Anything?'

'Nope, … nothing so far.'

Chuck opened his hand and put his thumb and middle finger on the gaps between one of the floor boards and drew it down, along the board, trying to clean it from the dust and dirt accumulated there.

Then he examined it carefully. Nothing suspicious. The same old stuff in the gaps between the boards.

He repeated the procedure with the next board, and then the next and compared the filling.

No new filling between the boards. But something was bugging him, and he couldn't figure out what exactly. And then there was this déjà-vu feeling, while doing this, and again, he couldn't say why.

So he repeated it, started again with the first board, then second and third. What's wrong with those?'

He was thinking.

Yeah, yeah, they were of a different width. Chuck furrowed, trying to remember something. He had spent hours and hours watching the floor boards in this room and everywhere else in this house.

They were ideal, same width. So this was definitely odd. He put his hand again on the second board, with his fingers on the gap. The second one was bugging him more than the rest. There was some familiar feeling. He lifted his left hand still keeping the thumb and the middle finger at the same distance as was the width of the board.

Yeah, now he got it why it was so familiar. _He had held in his left hand hundreds and hundreds of hard disk drives and they were all of the same width – exactly 4 inches._ And that was it. This particular board was exactly 4 inches wide. It was a bit wider than the average, and the one left to it was narrower than the average.

_So somebody had reworked that afterwards._ Yeah, to hide under it something that was 4 inches wide. Like hard disks, for example. Chuck smiled. Yeah, he thought to himself. Maybe that's it.

He tracked the wider and the narrower boards down to see where the oddity would end. And whether it would continue outside the bed area. He prepared to pull back from under the bed when he noticed that Sarah had actually stopped with her examination and was watching him.

'What?' He asked.

'Well,' she said, 'are you onto something? You are whispering something unintelligible.'

'Hmm, yeah, maybe, … but let me check one more thing first.'

Chuck pulled out from under the bed and focused on the floor under the bed footboard, where the two odd boards were supposed to continue outside the bed. No, here, he could see it clearly; they were of the same width. So somebody had reworked them only under the bed, cutting out the original ones and replacing them. Yeah, that must be it.

'Sarah, I think I figured it out.' Chuck started already feeling the adrenaline rush. '_Oh, God, I hope I'm right this time.'_

'What, Chuck?'

'I think I found something.' He explained to her his findings.

'Oh, my God, … Chuck!' she exclaimed. 'The only explanation to this odd rework could mean only one thing.'

'Hiding place.' Both said smiling at each other.

'Let's call Casey and move this bed so we can examine it.' Sarah said excitedly and went out to look for Casey.

Once she was back with Casey, they moved the bed to the window so they had all the odd floor boards area exposed in the open.

'Good job, Chuck,' Casey grunted approvingly once they explained to him Chuck's theory. 'Let's hope this is it.'

Once they scraped off the stuff in the gaps from all sides of the 4-inch board, Sarah brought a really big knife from the kitchen and stuck it into the board, and then tried to pull it up. Yeah, it visibly moved a little.

Casey stuck another knife into it and joined the effort.

Once it was up by a third of an inch they all grabbed it with bare hands and tried to remove it.

The board was finally removed and they pointed their flashlights into the hole.

The floor boards were not laid directly on some ground surface, but , as it was typical for that kind of houses, on joists and between the joists there was plenty of space to put what was lying there. Hard disks. Eleven pieces. All were vacuum sealed in plastic coating similar to those the manufacturers used to sell them. But these coatings were transparent and each disk had a number.

'Careful, Casey,' Chuck warned. 'The hard disks of 10 years ago were of much poorer quality, no anti-shock technology, so easy to break the mechanics inside.'

'Bartowski, Bartowski', Casey shook his head in disbelief, ' all these nerdy years, finally paying off, right?'

"Rrright. … Well,' Chuck picked hard disk No. 1, removed the plastic coating and said, 'let's see what's on it, shall we?'

'What, … here?' Casey snarled at him.

'Of course, Casey. I'll hook it up to the PC there, what's the problem?'

'We have to be sure what's in it.' Sarah chimed in.

'Hmm, ok Chuck, but you better be careful.' Casey barked.

Chuck rushed to the living room and started unscrewing the lid of the desktop PC there. Everybody was there watching him now.

Having removed the lid, Chuck saw that the hard disk in there was a new one, as he expected, serial ATA. But the DVD used the old ATA interface, so he could use its ATA cable. He quickly unplugged the DVD drive and plugged the hard disk in, checked everything again and pressed the power button.

Once the operating system was loaded, Chuck started the Windows explorer and looked for the new disk. Yeah, it was there. He started browsing its directories.

'Yeah,' Sarah exclaimed, 'looking at the monitor over his shoulder. Click on this pdf file, Chuck.'

Once he did, there popped up a window with a title _Physical Theory of Diffraction_ by Pyotr Ufimtsev.

'Yes, it's about stealth, this is the theoretical foundation for the computer program, calculating stealth designs,' Casey added. 'But this is not even classified. Look for the program, or whatever.'

Chuck soon reached a folder, named _Software_ and as a subfolder there was it, _Echo_.

'That's it,' Sarah said. 'Echo was the program that calculates and optimizes the design. It was what Borovin was after. And this RAM folder,' she went on, shaking her head. 'RAM must stand for radar absorbing material. Just shut down the computer, take the disk and let's get out of here. Our job is done. I can imagine what's on the rest of the disks,' she said, still shaking her head. 'Everything.'

Chuck held the power button for 4 seconds, to shut the PC down and then unplugged the disk.

'Here,' he handed it to Sarah, smiling at her.

'Chuck,' Sarah said, smiling to him. 'You were absolutely awesome this time.'

'Just don't encourage him too much Walker,' Casey grimaced at her.

Sarah handed the disk to Casey who was already stashing the other ten in his tool box, after he had emptied it.

Casey turned to Rose, who was watching all this silently. 'Stay here till the NSA team arrives and check the other bedrooms for anything odd, starting with the floor boards.'

He closed the tool box and said, 'let's get out of here people!'

'_Not so fast con-face_!' somebody said loudly. The voice had come from the direction of the kitchen so everybody turned to see who that was.

It was Berta of course. In her left hand she was holding a vial with a device instead of an ordinary cap.

'This is sarin gas, so don't even think about doing anything funny. I have more than enough to kill the entire Malibu area, and leave a lot more people very, very unhappy.'

'Give me the disks con-face!' She extended her right hand to him.

'Berta!' Charlie whined. 'I thought you were loyal to me. I thought you were a housekeeper.'

'Yeah, yeah, idiot.' She snapped at him. 'Nothing spells happiness better than washing your underwear, you sexual psychopath.'

'Who do you work for?' Casey asked her, frowning.

'Oh, major Casey, or con face, as I called you once I saw the picture in your file,' she smiled at him. 'What is this? A stupid TV show? Where the bad guy has to say everything, fill in the blanks for the public, huh?'

'Where?' she looked around, raising her hands. 'I don't see any public. So how about I don't say anything, huh? Just for a change.'

'Now,' she said and put the vial in her pocket and took out some sort of a remote control device. 'Pressing the button of this remote will release the content not only of this vial but of 5 more that are in my car. So don't even think of shooting or overpowering me. After all, I'm just a 53-year old defenseless lady,' she smiled at them.

'The _Skunk Works_ stuff, con-face,' she said to Casey.

'Uh, … what?'

'Don't play dumb with me, major, … the hard disks,' she extended her right hand again.

'Hmm, … how do we know it is indeed sarin, and not just, hmm … some Sprite, that has just fizzled out?' Casey growled.

'Oh, you need a little demonstration, dontcha? 'She raised her voice.

'Casey!' both Chuck and Sarah yelled. 'Give her the disks!'

'No, no,' Berta, shook her head, 'demonstration it is.' She took out a small automatic pipette and set a certain value on it. Then she approached a small aquarium with decorative fish, dipped it there and turned to Casey.

'So, do we do this experiment? You're buying Jake new fish, huh, … tough guy? Do I look to you like I am new at this?'

'Actually, it's mine,' Alan interjected raising his hand. ' I mean, … uh, the fish. If it were to be Jake taking care of them, they would've been gone long time ago. Please don't kill my babies, Berta! For, …uh for all times sake.'

'Well, con-face?' Berta smiled at him. 'What say you? Say yes and we make the test.'

'No, here are the disks,' Casey grunted and picked the box from the floor and left it on the table next to Berta.

'Now,' Berta said. 'Everybody go there around the piano and stay there.'

After they did, she took the tool box with the disks and glanced at them.

'Hey you, Chucky, you're coming with me, nerdy boy.'

'Uh, me, … why?'

'You're not in a position to ask questions, I am. And you blondie. Or should I say Agent Walker? Go to the front door. I know the area is sealed.' She smiled at them. 'You're gonna be helping me get out of here. She had taken the remote again from her pocket. Or I press the button.'

Finally Sarah and Chuck strolled toward the front door. Berta followed them.

Once Chuck opened the front door and he and Sarah went out, Berta turned around and said:

'Well, thanks for the disks con- face.' She winked at him. 'They'll be in good hands.'

Casey only growled at her but didn't say anything.

'I'll be missing you Berta,' Charlie whined. 'Don't leave me. Where do I find such a housekeeper to take care of me?'

'Shut up you idiot.' Both Casey and Alan yelled at him.

'Yeah,' Berta sighed deeply, 'we had our fun moments, didn't we?' She said sadly, then went outside and closed the door behind her.

Xxx


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Well, this is the final chapter of Chuck versus the Quirk. What happens, happens. If they succeed in retrieving the disks from Berta, great. If they don't, then so be it. Sometimes failure happens in real life.**

**Thanks for the interest again. **

**Chapter XI**

**I Like Your Protection Better, Printer Boy**

Once Berta closed the front door she looked around. Nothing worrisome.

'Go to the parking lot people, my car is there,' she instructed them.

While they were heading there Sarah was looking around, trying to figure out a solution. No, nobody and nothing to help her distract Berta enough. And how could she risk Chuck's life, not to mention all the people in the area? She cursed to herself.

'Nice working with you Agent Walker,' Berta started while following them. 'I read your file. Impressive.'

'Sorry, that I have to beat you this time.' She sighed in an obviously fake and mocking way. 'The VW van, over there,' she said and pressed the alarm of her car remote.

They were now next to the car.

'Walker,' Berta said loudly and threw her car keys at her. 'You drive. Geeky,' she had turned to Chuck, 'you take the front seat, I'll be behind you.'

Chuck reached the car door where he was supposed to sit but Berta interrupted him.

'Hey, nerdy boy, don't you see my hands are occupied?' She raised them for him to see. The tool box was still in her left hand and the remote for the sarin gas vials in her right one.

'Of course, sorry,' Chuck rushed to open the back door for her. He was just about to do that _when both he and Berta heard some buzzing_. Very close to them. It was indeed like a bee or a bunch of bees closing in on.

'Ugh!' Chuck exclaimed in disgust, 'I hate wasps! All these needles, in their uh … behinds!'

'So do I geeky boy, hurry up!' Berta hissed at him.

They were about 5 feet away staring at each other. Chuck leaned in a bit to reach the door handle so he could open the back door for her.

At this very moment however, the buzzing reached its maximum as something was hovering right between their faces, much closer to Berta's.

'What the hell …., ' Berta exclaimed but as she started to realize what it was, it was too late.

Stephen Bartowski's, or rather Yoni's micro-UAV had started spraying a knock out gas right into her nose. It had a strong paralytic component. The buzzing from its miniature engine was many times stronger than the quiet hissing from the gas release so she couldn't hear it.

Berta staggered to her left and slightly forward, leaning against the car with her hip now pressed against the tool box. 'Uuuuh.'

Chuck rushed toward her, to prevent her from falling with the disks and remote in her hand.

First his left hand reached for the remote in her right one. He took it and then his right hand reached for the tool box handle. He took it just before Berta was about to drop it.

Her over 300-pound body leaned forward so Chuck instinctively embraced her in attempt to prevent her from falling down.

He quickly inserted his left hand in her pocket where she had put that small vial with the sarin. He found it and grabbed it together with the remote and quickly pulled it out of the pocket.

But Berta was too heavy and almost as tall as he was. Her weight was all over Chuck, who, distracted by the remote and the vial, finally tried to make a step backward. But it was too late.

His and Berta's bodies were already falling down.

'Aaaargh,' he screamed.

There was a large thud as they hit the ground really hard.

Sarah had entered the car and wondered why they were still staying outside. But now that she heard him scream she sprang out of the car.

'Chuck!' Sarah had already gone around the front of the car and now pointed her flashlight to see what happened. 'Are you OK?'

The first thing she could see was Chuck's left hand still holding the sarin vial and the remote. She took them immediately and then pointed at Chuck's face.

'Ohhh,' she heard him, moan. 'I'm ok, Sarah, … uh, … just hit my head against the ground. Help me with this Berta thing, please!'

His right hand was stuck between the car and Berta, with the box lying on her back. Since Berta was all over him with her massive body, and his right hand pressed between her and the car, he simply couldn't move her away from him.

Sarah was just about to kneel and try to help him when an evil grin appeared on her face.

'Ohh, just a sec, Chuck.' She pulled out a cell phone from her back pocket, turned it on the camera mode and set it to a night mode.

'Smile,' she said, pointing it to Chuck.

'Oh, come on Sarah,' Chuck said panting. 'You can't do that to me,' He was trying to wiggle himself out of the embarrassing situation. To no avail.

Sarah had taken two more pictures from different angles when Casey arrived.

'What happened Walker? Where's the nerve gas?' he barked.

'It's secured Casey, don't worry.' She pointed her torchlight to the top of Berta's car where she had left the vial and the remote.

'And where's the asset, … and the enemy?' He further growled.

Since Berta and Chuck were down there between cars, Casey still couldn't see them in the dark.

'Don't worry, the asset is secure as well,' Sarah smirked and pointed her flashlight to them. 'And he happens to be cheating on me. In the parking lot, can you imagine that?'

"Ohhh, Bartowski, Bartowski,' Casey snorted, ' I didn't know that you were a member of the 'big ladies club', congratulations.' He took his mobile out and started taking pictures.

'I'm gonna kill you both,' Chuck yelled still panting under Berta and trying to wiggle out. 'I'm reporting you two, to Beckman, for, …, for uh … hazing, it must be some felony, … right?'

'Right, right,' Casey snorted again. 'My condolences Walker.'

'What about, Casey?'

'You need to eat alotta hamburgers to stay competitive, I'm afraid.'

'Yeah,' Sarah said cheerfully. 'No more diet worries, ... exercise, … life is finally getting a bit rosier for me.'

Now the rest from the house arrived with Jake ahead of them.

'Oh Chuck! Gross! How can you cheat on Sarah, you moron!' he yelled at Chuck.

But then he stopped and smiled. He turned to Sarah, 'Hey, your boyfriend is cheating on you with a much older lady.' He said, snickering and nodding at her.

'So?' Sarah asked.

'Sweet revenge, ... hello,' Jake said opening his arms for her.

Sarah chuckled. 'No Jake, Chuck wasn't cheating, he was actually doing …'

'An enemy agent?' Casey interrupted her.

'Nooo … _his job_, I was about to say, Casey,' Sarah scolded him smiling.

'I rest my case.' Casey smirked.

Charlie, Alan and Rose arrived there and all asked anxiously, 'What happened?'

'Ahh,' Charlie started then as he was the first to see Chuck and Berta all over him. 'So you are a sexual addict, and even worse case than me, huh,' he smirked, '… and in denial, I guess.'

'Shame on you all!' Rose chided them all and knelt to help Chuck. 'Don't worry dear, everybody has little quirks, let me help you.'

She tried to move Berta away but at this moment Berta turned her head to the other side and munched, 'Mmm, mlm-mlm-mlm.'

'Heeeelp,' Chuck screamed like a girl.

Berta was obviously dreaming something. 'Was it as good for you as it was for me, zippy?' she blurted out.

Everybody turned toward Alan now.

'Well, zippy?' Charlie asked.'What say you?'

'What!' an indignant Alan screamed. 'I have never, ever slept with Berta!'

'Yeah, but the question is whether she had slept with you, fantasy boy,' Charlie grinned at him.

'Shame on you all,' Alan wiggled between them and joined Rose. Both were now able to roll Berta away from Chuck.

Then they helped him get up.

Chuck approached, and glared at Casey and Sarah. 'Spy humor, huh? I owe you a big one for this,' he threatened.

Casey had already called Beckman and she ordered the local NSA and FBI people to join them and provide security. A helicopter landed soon on the road adjacent to the parking lot.

'Walker, Bartowski, get on the chopper, I'll join you in a minute.' Casey said in a hurry. 'Agent Kennedy,' he turned to Rose. 'Take my car and come to my apartment in the morning. Tomorrow the Air Force Chief of Staff will personally come to get the disks. I want you there; after all you were the first to break this case.'

'Sure, Major Casey,' Rose smiled while taking the keys from him.

'And what about us,' Alan asked. 'Are we uh ...finished, major?'

"With Berta out of the picture, you certainly are, haha." Charlie chimed in again.

'Yeah, yeah,' Casey remembered them, 'go home and don't forget about the non-disclosure agreement, that's all. We'll be visiting you soon.'

At that, Casey turned around and strode after Chuck and Sarah toward the helicopter.

**Xxx**

500 yards away Chip Johnson was sitting in a brand new gray Toyota with tinted windows and typing something on a laptop. Yoni's micro-UAV just arrived so he quietly opened the door, leaned down and took it inside.

'Hello again, birdie bird.' he said and went on with the typing.

'You may go home now, Chip, job well done! Talk to you tomorrow. Over.' Stephen Bartowski wrote and disconnected the line.

He sighed.

'_Good Lord_.' He thought. '_Sarin. And Chuck saw his micro-UAV and will probably tell Sarah and Casey_.'

He typed a text message for Chuck's mobile, 'Forget about the little bird you saw Mr. Bartowski. Tell NOBODY!!! And yeah, I KNOW YOU ARE THE INTERSECT. Will explain later. A FRIEND.' and clicked on the 'send' button.

'Be smart, Charles, be smart! Don't tell anybody about the little bird!' he prayed.

xxx

**Next day, 9 am, Casey's apartment.**

Sarah and Chuck, as well as Casey and Rose were sitting in the living room.

Casey's mobile rang.

'Yes, … I understand … yes, we are here, … roger that… over.' He hung up.

Five minutes later somebody knocked on Casey's front door. He jumped up and went there to open it.

A pleasant woman, in her early thirties, entered, followed by a bald-headed older man who wore sunglasses. Both were in plain clothes but their military stance was pretty obvious.

Sarah, Chuck and Rose stood up.

'At ease people. You are not even in the military. And I'm not wearing a uniform.' He smiled at them.

'By the way, this is the first time in history that the Air Force Chief of Staff is on official business in plain clothes. Unbelievable, isn't it?'

The general looked around and then focused on something. "Ah, major Casey, a Ronald Reagan fan, great.'

'Yes, general, I proudly am.' Casey said cocking his head.

'Great, … great, I used to work at the National security council during his tenure, great man, ... great man.'

'So,' he sighed, 'where is the stuff, major?'

Casey put his tool box on a table and opened it. "Here they are, Chief, eleven hard disks.'

'Have you verified their content?' The Air Force boss asked.

'Yes general, the _Echo_ program is here, radar absorbing material data and much, much more, manifacture details, which is probably the worst of all. An NSA expert went through all of them earlier this morning. Of course, we don't know whether this is the real thing. Only the LM people will know that.'

'Good grief,' the general exclaimed shaking his head. 'It must be the real thing as we don't know anything about a deception operation going on.'

'Stephanie,' he had turned to his assistant. 'Call Johnson to come and get the disks. Wait for me outside, please, I need to have a word with these people in private.'

His assistant had already pulled out her mobile and was now heading to the front door.

Once she left the general continued, "Well, I simply can't tell you how grateful the US government is to all of you. If this,' he tapped lightly of the tool box, 'is the real deal, your contribution to US national security is simply immeasurable. And I mean that literally. Neither the Air Force, nor any intelligence agency can measure in any definitive terms the implications for our national security if those disks ended up in the wrong hands.'

The general made a short pause and then continued. 'So, Major Casey, I think you should get prepared for a Presidential Medal of Honor ceremony, ... in the near future, I guess.'

'Mm-hmm, general,' Casey said, trying to clear his throat, 'I do apologize for interrupting, but my role in this operation was really small and insignificant. The real hero was a … a civilian, um … his name is Chuck Bartowski, ... he almost single-handedly solved this riddle and then found the disks.'

'Oh,' the general exclaimed, 'yeah, … I remember,' he took out a pair of glasses and after putting them on, tried to focus on Chuck.

While he was focusing on his Buy More badge, Casey went on, 'General Beckman told me that you were briefed on our mission, I mean about the asset. Agent Walker and I are actually assigned to protect him 24/7.'

'Yeah, … yeah, … I was, oh, that's the guy, with the thing in his head,' he said pointing at his bald head.

'Well, congratulations, young man,' he said to Chuck. 'I mean, I wish I were 27 and having a 24/7 protection by an agent like this,' he said glancing at Sarah. '_And where does the CIA get girls like that?_' he wondered.

'Well,' he sighed. 'I have a plane to catch, so … any questions?'

'Mm-hmm,' Casey tried to clear his throat again. 'What happens to the disks and the op now? I mean, we'd be glad to be part of it.'

'Oh, I don't know major. It's FBI and Air Force turf. The FBI agent will certainly be,' he nodded at Rose. "Congrats, you did a great job by the way.' he smiled at her. 'I'll be in touch with Beckman anyway. That's all.' He opened the front door and stepped out.

'Well,' Chuck stood up, 'I think I have to go to work now.'

'Before you go, I think we should celebrate this, people. How about a party tonight, huh?' Rose proposed.

Xxx

It was almost lunchtime. Chuck was about to die out of boredom at the Nerd Herd desk. He glanced at his watch for the umpteen time – 5 minutes till lunch break. No, he couldn't wait anymore. He looked around, no traces of Big Mike. He rushed toward the exit door and soon was at the Wienerlicious.

Once in, Chuck was really disappointed to find that Sarah wasn't there.

'Where is Sarah?' he asked Scooter, her nerdy boss.

'Ahhh, Chuck, I thought she has having another tryst with you. Ha. Where is she indeed?' Scooter looked at him sternly.

Chuck decided to eat something and wait for her here. He ordered a sandwich, pulled his mobile out and dialed Sarah's number.

'Chuck, how are things there?' She answered.

'I'm at the Wienerlicious, waiting for you. Where have you been?'

'Oh, … nowhere. I'm driving back there, wait for me.' She hung up.

'Oh, great,' Chuck thought. 'So it's a secret, huh. And since when do we have secrets,' he thought.

Sarah rushed in 15 minutes later.

'Hey, where have you been?' Chuck asked again.

'Just some private business, why? What's the problem?' she stared at him.

'Uh, … nothing.'

'Are you jealous? I mean, that I'm not telling you the details?' she exclaimed with clear surprise in her voice.

'No, no, just asking, … forget it, no biggy.'

xxx

**12:30 am, Ellie and Devon's house**

Once the party was over, and Casey and Rose gone, Sarah announced she was feeling tired and signaled to Chuck to come with her. Their plan for the night was for Sarah to stay with Chuck so they further cement their cover for Ellie and Devon.

Once alone in his bedroom, Chuck started. 'If the quirk is back and you think it's time for a tango here, I don't think so.'

'No, silly.' Sarah flashed him a smile. 'I'm just tired and need to sleep. No energy for anything wild or something.' she enunciated while staring at him.

'Oh, I feel so lucky today, ... then, … so lucky.' he clamped his lips. _'I meant the tango, not "anything wild,_' he screamed to himself.

Sarah reached for the switch and turned the lights off.

Once they were in bed Chuck realized that Sarah was poking him with something under the covers.

Now he could see that it was a small flashlight that she was blinking.

'Oh,' he thought to himself, 'somebody _needs to pay some royalties here. Well, time to go undercover.'_

Once Chuck was under the cover he saw Sarah's face grinning at him there. She unfolded a small paper for him so he could read. _"There is a surprise down there. Under the bed. In the basement. Are you coming with me?'_

'Of course I'll be coming,' he whispered at her as quietly as he could. 'I'm not the one who pretended to be tired.'

Sarah pulled out another small flashlight for him. They slid under the bed and Chuck unlocked the trap door.

'You first,' Sarah shushed.

Chuck pointed the torchlight down the stairs and carefully stepped down.

Soon he realized that the basement was now lit with some strange, multi-colored light.

'Oh, whose Christmas tree set of lights did you steal, uh … super-agent?' he asked playfully.

Sarah had just joined him there. 'I bought it, silly. I see that you like it already, right?'

'Right, … right. It's very, uh … romantic. And what is that, if I may ask?' he asked.

'What, … oh, that? Nothing, just a mirror, a table, a couple of make-up boxes, powder boxes, a bunch of Mascaras, several lipsticks, a chair, nothing extraordinary, right?' Sarah smiled.

'It looks like a boudoir to me, hmm, _Le Boudoir De Madame Pompadour_, I guess?'

'Maybe, I need to look presentable here,' she pouted, 'you have a problem with that?'

'No, no, no problem, but you are always very, uh, … very presentable …'

'Oh, thanks, Chuck, and here is the surprise.' She pointed her flashlight to the corner opposite to her mirror.

'What's that? I can't see anything there.'

'That's because it is still folded and not inflated yet.' Sarah said callously. 'It's a bed silly, an inflatable one. It's your turn to blow,' she said and sat before the mirror, fixing her make-up.

'Yeah, … great,' Chuck sighed and started figuring out where to start with the bed.

Once he started blowing, Sarah glanced at him snickering.

'At that pace, Chuck, we won't be finished until tomorrow morning,' she quipped.

'I know, I know,' Chuck said, panting. 'Maybe you should give me a hand, huh?'

'Fortunately,' Sarah said, getting up, 'being with the CIA enables me with some expertise that can help.'

She took a small canister from her table.

'This is highly pressurized air, Chuck.' She started her instructions. 'You first need to insert the pipe, then push and push it even further, then try pressing on this button, and voila, the pressure will be released.'

"Oh, thank you, Sarah, without your instructions, uh ..., so clear and concise, uh … I think I would never be able to pro-create.'

Indeed, the air from the small canister was now flowing into the bed.

'Great job super-agent,' Chuck said, 'couldn't you have done that earlier and saved me some unnecessary blowing?'

'Yeah, yeah, I know, but the quirk, … I just got it back, I'm sorry.' She flashed him another smile.

"Oh,' Chuck said, 'last time you said there was no quirk, huh? So, how come?'

'Yeah, yeah, I remember. But what can I say now, here it is,' she approached and started kissing him.

'Chuck,' she said a little later. 'What's your lesson from this whole quirk thing?'

'What, I don't know. Enlighten me.'Chuck said heavily breathing after her kiss.

'You should never trust what a woman says to you, … you know, women just say things sometimes.'

'Oh, yeah, but I trust you, and … uh, … I'm pretty positive you're a woman.' Chuck smirked.'Is that a problem?'

'Oh, … well, every rule has at least one notable exception.' She said after some thinking. 'And in this case, it is only one.'

xxx

**Next morning, Casey's apartment, 6:59.**

As usual, the biological clock in major Casey clicked seconds before the real one would.

He squeezed his eyes even tighter and wondered where the hell this terrible headache had come from.

Oh, the party last night, he remembered. He obviously had too much to drink, didn't he? He couldn't even remember how much.

Ah, and what the hell was that? Now that his senses were slowly coming back he realized there was something on his chest.

'Wow, as I can see now, you're fully awaken, sleepy head,' Rose said turning her head toward him. 'How'd you sleep?'

'Uh-uh, I don't even remember what happened after the party.' Casey grunted.

'Oh, that, um … you were a bit tipsy, and …, uh … you-you suggested a sponge bath.' Rose recalled. 'So … we had a sponge bath.'

'Hmm, good, … good.' Casey blurted still grimacing from the hangover.

'Don't worry, Johnny,' Rose tapped him on the chest. 'I'm not one of those one-night stand gals. I entered your life for a veeeery looong time,' she smiled at him.

"Hmm, … great,' Casey thought to himself. '_I can live with that. I guess.'_

But he only grunted approvingly at her.

'Ohh, don't worry Johnny,' Rose went on, 'you're a bit emotionally ... castrated. I knew somebody who were like you, long time ago. But I can get you a great shrink. Don't worry, you'll be fine.'

xxx

**Epilogue**

**2 weeks later, the Wienerlicious, 6 pm.**

Chuck entered the Wienerlicious and saw Sarah cleaning the place.

'Hi, Chuck, what brings you here?' she asked casually.

'Oh, I don't know, I thought, uh .. we would be spending the evening together, um ... a pizza or something.' Chuck stammered with obvious surprise.

'Uh, maybe a bit later.' Sarah went on without looking at Chuck, 'I'm gonna need to attend some business in the next several hours.'

'Oh, oh,' Chuck exclaimed. 'I thought it was this,' he pointed at his head, 'that was your business, … mission, … whatever. Remember, … the intersect?'

Sarah was thinking. 'OK, you can come with me if you want.'

'Oh, where?'

'I'm going to Malibu, the Harpers. Alan texted me. Said I should go there and see something. Some sort of a surprise. And I checked with Rose, you know, she is providing security there. She confirmed. There is something I should really see there. So,' Sarah raised her shoulders.

'Oh, I see.' Chuck said.

'Wanna come?' Sarah asked. "It's a long ride, and with the LA traffic, I thought you'd be bored.'

In fact, Sarah was worrying about Chuck's safety as Charlie's house was now ground zero of international espionage where the US government was trying to sell faulty stealth data to the adversaries.

But then she realized that any place in LA was more or less dangerous for somebody like Chuck. And after all, they would stay there just for half hour pretending to be friends.

'Yeah, yeah,' Chuck was nodding at her, 'I'd be glad to. I have some very nice memories from that place as well, remember?'

xxx

90 minutes later they were there in front of Charlie Harper's house. "Ding dong.'

'Hey, eat your dinner, boy, and you need to do your homework before seeing this girl,' they both heard somebody yelling inside the house.

Sarah and Chuck looked at each other with their eyes popping out of surprise.

The very next second somebody opened the front door but they already knew who that would be.

"Berta???"

'Surprised, heh?' She smirked and let them in. 'The government got me a deal. I'm a double agent now, selling their crap to whoever would be interested. And this is punishment enough for me, you know, to serve these two imbeciles.'

'But you were about to kill so many people with that gas,' Chuck was still quite indignant.

'Nah, it was unitary sarin, geeky.' Berta shook her head, 'It was 95% degraded, shelf-life you know. It could kill the fish as I was about to put a hefty dose in the aquarium but otherwise, no good.'

'Yeah,' Sarah confirmed, 'you need to keep it in binary form if you want it to last.'

'Aah, agent Walker knows her stuff, heh? And you, zippy,' she turned to Chuck again, 'how's it hanging? Last time I remember you, you were under me,' she smirked at him.

'Yeah, we all remember that,' Sarah confirmed again. 'It's well documented by the way.'

'I'm just not sure,' Berta went on, 'how you managed to drop me.'

'Aah, nothing special,' Chuck waved his hand, 'I hypnotize people sometimes.'

'_What?_' Sarah exclaimed to herself. _It never occurred to her how actually Chuck had Berta go unconscious and only now the question popped up._ But she didn't say anything.

'So,' she turned to Berta instead, 'who did you work for, I mean, before our government turned you over?'

'Aah, about that, it's top secret, blondie, but since we are friends now, no hard feeling heh, zippy, I'm Larissa Semyonova, Russian military intelligence, former of course.' Berta smiled at them. 'My parents had been part of a sleeper cell here, even since the 40s. I was born here, but they trained and indoctrinated me.'

'Well,' Berta went on after exhaling sadly, 'what brought you here? The Harpers are out somewhere. It's only me and Jake.'

'Uh, Alan invited us,' Sarah answered, 'he told me there was a surprise. I guess he was right. Congratulations, for your new job.' Sarah said awkwardly. 'I guess we're going home now. Bye.'

'Oh, don't wanna try my apple pie,' Berta yelled after them, 'no hard feelings I hope, right Walker?'

xxx

**Two weeks later. Washington DC, The White House, 8:30 pm.**

'Well, ladies and gentlemen, congratulations again to the printer boy and his team, let's eat and drink.' The President, George W. Bush, said with a glass of bubbly lemonade in his hand and sat down.

Chuck and Rose had just gotten the Presidential Medal of Freedom while Sarah and Casey received some military awards. Since Chuck was especially mentioned in all reports as the key to the success of this operation, he was the center of the ceremony and was now sitting next to the president.

'So, printer boy," Bush '43 started. 'You shouldn't worry about being misunderestimated.'

'Uh, what, … what do you mean Mr. President,' Chuck asked anxiously.

'I read the report, the bear-face report.'

'Huh, bear face?' Chuck wondered again.

'Yeah.' W. pointed at Casey. 'The hunk in the uniform. He wrote in his final report how he had misunderestimated you and that he was wrong about that.'

'Oh, I see,' Chuck flashed a really fake smile at Casey.

'Don't worry, Chuck, I get misunderestimated all the time,' Bush 43 winked at him. 'Look where it got me, hehe. The White House. Twice. Hehehe. That's why Jimmy Carter hates me so much, hehehe. Misunderestimation is the best thing that can happen to you, printer boy. Cheers.'

'Haaaa, cheers, Mr. President.' Chuck smiled back and gulped something really strong. '_Oh boy,'_ he thought to himself. '_Was that some 15__th__ century whiskey or something?' _His head was already spinning_._

He looked for the bottle, … yeah, there it was. He stretched to reach it and tried to focus on the label.

'Wow, a 16th century whiskey.' he exclaimed.

'Yeah, presidential stuff,' W. confirmed. "It's just so sad that I stopped drinking in 1984,' he looked anxiously at his wife who was sitting opposite to him next to Sarah.

W. leaned to Chuck again and said. 'You know, Chucky, what's common between you and me, hehe?'

'What?' an already semi-sober Chuck slurred.

'Both you and I are under 24/7 protection. But I like yours better, printer boy, hehehe,' he pointed at Sarah.

'Wanna trade my protection against yours?' At that, W. punched Chuck lightly on the shoulder.

'Haaaaa, presidential humor,' Chuck laughed approvingly, 'I like that.' He punched back W.'s shoulder.

'Ouch, Laura!' Bush 43 screamed, 'I was kidding about the supermodel girl.'

His wife had obviously kicked W. under the table.

'See Chuck?' W. went on, 'they can't get my humor. That's why they hate me in America.'

'But they like you in Africa, haaaa,' Chuck yelled after another hefty gulp of the super strong whiskey. 'Right, Sarah?'

'Right,' Sarah said smiling awkwardly. "And in Eastern Europe, I guess.' she added.

'But they hate me in Western Europe, haaaaa' W. went on. 'I win!'

'Haaaaa,' he and the obviously drunken Chuck went on laughing.

'Hey Chuck,' Bush 43 said then, 'where are you staying tonight?'

'I don't know, Mr. President, some hotel here I guess.' Chuck answered.

'Why don't you stay here, in the Lincoln bedroom? I don't need anything in return, you know. Maybe Billy Clinton will call you to ask for a favor, haaaaa.' W. and Chuck burst in laughter again.

'I'll tell the secret service not to tape.' Bush 43 went on winking. 'So don't worry. Just wear protection against your 24/7 protection.'

'Haaaaa,' both were laughing again and pointing at Sarah.

'Ouch!' both a seriously drunk Chuck and Bush 43 screamed simultaneously.

Clearly, both Sarah and Laura Bush had kicked them this time.

Xxx

**White House, Lincoln Bedroom, 01:10 same evening.**

'Well,' Chuck started once he had sat on the bed. "Now what?'

'Now we sleep, Chuck, what else,' Sarah answered as she was taking her clothes off.

'Oh, I behaved like a jerk, didn't I?' he asked melancholically.

'Actually you didn't.' Sarah said impassionedly. 'You just got drunk. That was some really strong whiskey. I tested it.'

'Oh, but you aren't drunk, are you, Sarah?' Chuck asked.

'Of course I'm not, I'm trained to withstand the effects of all sorts of alcohol.' She said glaring at him.

'Uh, ok, so, um, do you think they won't be … taping, uh, … here, as the guy said?' Chuck slurred hesitantly.

'Of course they will, Chuck, it's standard operating procedure. Don't even think about it. You're too drunk. What if you are a disaster, huh? Do you really want to enter the annals of US government history, as a disaster, you know, … south of the border" Sarah turned angrily to him.

'Oh God!' she thought. Chuck had already lain down and fallen asleep.

Sarah covered him with a bed sheet and lay down next to him. She was still angry at him for getting drunk so quickly but then she remembered. She had tested the whiskey herself and knew that it would be too strong for him. It had some strange taste anyway. If anybody, she should be angry at herself for not warning him in time.

Sarah cursed and tried to get some sleep.

Xxx

**The White House, Lincoln Bedroom, 04:18 am, same night.**

Sarah and Chuck were still sleeping peacefully. Then, suddenly, Chuck jumped up and without saying a thing started shaking his head in all directions as he was sitting in the bed.

Sarah had already risen as well. She reached for the lamp on the nightstand and turned it on.

'What, Chuck? What is it?' She asked anxiously. But then she realized that he was flashing on something. And munching.

'Mlm-mlm-mlm.'

15 seconds later, he stopped and turned to Sarah.

'Oh my god, Sarah!'

'What Chuck. What's wrong?'

'It's the whiskey. It was in the whiskey. The opiate. It's from _Mimosa encephalica_. We are doomed. It works like a truth serum.'

'Oh, God, somebody is drugging the entire US government and military and intelligence establishment!' Sarah exclaimed in disbelief.

'Sarah!'

'What Chuck?'

'It's not just that. The plant. It's grown only in one eastern province of China. I flashed on a file of another Chinese intelligence agent. Jin Liang.' Chuck said, feeling the adrenaline rush.

'So?'

'She had the same face as Mi Wong, Sarah. It's the same person. It's Jin Liang and it's her family that were growing this _Mimosa encephalica_ herb. Jin Liang introduced it to the Chinese intelligence.'

'Oh, crap!' Sarah cursed. 'So Mi Wong must have bugged a lot of government offices and will be waiting for all of these secretaries, generals and admirals to spill secrets now! Damn!'

'No, uh …, yeah,' Chuck was stammering something, still panting.

'What, Chuck, you have more bad news?'

'Yeah, yeah, the _Mimosa encephalica_ opiate, it works as a truth serum only for a litle over 72 hours.'

'So?'

'The really bad news is that if you don't treat it with the proper substance in the first 24 hours it causes irreversible changes in the brain. It causes the alpha helices of the CJD prion to unfold and refold as beta-pleated sheets. Exactly as in the Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease, you know, the mad-cow disease.

'But with the Mimosa opiate, uh .. it doesn't eat your brain out as in the mad-cow disease, it just degenerates, like a vegetable, or lobotomized, uh … at least that's how it is described here in the file.' Chuck pointed at his head.

'Oh, crap!' Sarah yelled again while putting her clothes on. 'Anything else? Could anything be worse than that?'

"There is some good news,' Chuck went on. 'Mi Wong's parents had been growing another herb, adjacent to the Mimosa. It contains the substance that can successfully fight the effects of the Mimosa. Before it is too late of course.'

'Great! What's the name of this plant?'

'It doesn't have a name, Sarah. It never got out of China, never entered the international classification. The Chinese government keeps it top secret.'

'Oh God. How is all this in your head if the Chinese government keeps it a secret?' She asked.

'Another Chinese defector in London. He spilled all this. Shortly before his brain degenerated.' Chuck said nervously. 'I saw his picture here. He's like a vegetable.' Chuck pointed at his head. 'The CDC is still trying to help him somehow. No luck.'

'Yeah,' Sarah narrowed her eyes. 'It's not exactly how I imagined this celebration at the White House,' she lay down and exhaled deeply.

'Now what, Sarah?' Chuck asked.

'I don't know Chuck, I'm thinking.' Sarah answered with her hands on her face. In fact she had no idea what to do now. She hadn't been able to gather her thoughts and figure out where to start with solving this crisis. Was it even solvable at all?

'Bzzzzz, bzzzz.'

'What's that, Chuck?'

'It's my cell phone.' Chuck took it and answered. 'Hello.'

'Hello, Chuck,' a female with an Asian accent said.

'Who is this?'

'You know who I am. I am bugging the Lincoln bedroom and heard you flash. I have heard about the Intersect but didn't know it was you. Well, now I know. Put this conversation on speaker so your CIA lover can hear my demands.'

'OK.' Chuck pressed a button on his cell.

'Good. I have the antidote to the _encephalica_. Yeah, your flash was right. It was my parents who had been growing it.'

'What do you want, Wong?' Sarah hissed at her.

'Oh, Walker, don't be so angry. Yet. Sometimes you win in this game, sometimes you lose. Well, I always win. I want Chuck. And the Skunk Works disks.' The voice was really bad quality, going through some terrible crack.

'When and where?' Sarah asked.

'Oh, you think I'm so stupid to meet you on US territory? My plane is in the air now; it left US air space some time ago. Chuck needs to be in Beijing with the disks, preferably within the next 18 hours. If he wants his amazing brain matter undamaged.'

"I'll be waiting for you at the Beijing airport. Over.' Mi Wong had hung up.

'Great,' Sarah exhaled really deep. 'Now, we are really screwed up. Like never before!'

**The End**

A/N: Well, I guess, I forgot to write a proper ending of this story. What a bum I am! After I finish my other story, Chuck Versus Agent Insanity Part II, which I totally abandoned for no good reason, there will be Chuck Versus The Quirk - Part II.

Thanks for the interest again and very special thanks to **NickyR**, as always.


End file.
